Giallo Iceberg With Katie Of The Night

Franco Friday 63: My Top 20 Favorite Jess Franco Films

It has been far too long since I've had a Franco Friday on this blog and I was trying to think of a way to get back into it and get inspired to dig into more of the unseen-by-me work of Jess Franco. Even though the man's giant-sized career can be pretty perilous, I really miss exploring the unknown with Captain Jess at the helm. And so here I am with some list-making! Everyone loves to make lists of lists and this list should fill your listy heart. 

The following pile of film titles is in the order in which I thought of them and not a best to least or most leastest to mostest best order or anything like that. These have been human hand-selected by me from the 55 or so Jess Franco films that I have seen. My main goal is to make hardcore Francophiles mad at me, which is very easy to do, so mission already accomplished. Let's go!

Eugenie De Sade (1973) 

Of course, I thought of this one first. This is still my favorite Jess Franco film even with its wildly uncomfortable subject matter. It's just so jam packed with ennui and cold beauty that I just adore it. This is one of the achingly beautiful Soledad Miranda's best roles. And yes, Paul Muller is achingly beautiful too. Heart breaking and cruel in the most endearing way.

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)

And yes, this was the second film I thought of when I think of my Franco favorites. That's probably weird, right? I champion this languid crap, but I don't expect anybody out there to try and high five me when they read this. Perhaps Oasis of the Zombies is just for me. It sucks but in a uniquely Franconian way.

The Silence of the Tomb (1972/1976)

Jess Franco made a giallo? Heck yeah he did! He made a couple. This is a very, very low budget production with a solid cast and quite a mean streak. I'd watch just about anything with Montserrat Prous. Several of Franco's regulars (Kali Hansa!) are in this, and it just makes me happy. Plus, that title! Very charming, nihilistic, and listless (in a good way).

The Devil Came from Akasava (1971)

This silly spy thriller with sci-fi and fantasy overtones is just a hoot. The fact that it has thirteen cast and crew members in common with She Killed in Ecstasy (1971) is just mind-boggling to me. I like to think of this fluffy nonsense as the wacky B side to that film's brooding A side.

The Sinister Eyes of Dr. Orloff (1973)

Do you like your William Berger with lettuce, tomato, and onions? Too bad, because this one is covered with cheese! Sinister Eyes is quite the strange little Orloff movie (a character that Jess Franco would return to many, many times). It's dreamy, weird, sad, and goofy. I love it.

Les ebranlées AKA Dolls For Sale (1972)

Now here is a film that I wish would get a Blu-ray. Howard Vernon playing a womanizing private eye must be seen to be believed. The whole film is kinda kooky, very trashy, and delivered through what feels like a drug-fueled haze.

Erotikill (1973) 

It's safe to assume that most fully licensed Jess Franco fans (let's just call them "Jess FANcos") will make fun of me for preferring the thrashed/neutered VHS version of Female Vampire, but I friggin' LOVE this version. The dubbing is straight up gold and the cruddy, washed out look makes this one ever so beautiful and claustrophobic. Lina Romay is diabolically sexy in this one.

Blue Rita (1977)

Speaking of films that are almost too weird to exist. If inflatable furniture and gooey alien sex slime are what you're craving, then Blue Rita is for you. You don't just watch this brightly colorful oddball gem, you insert it into your eyeholes. Hyper-stylized to a nearly impossible degree, Blue Rita is one that I highly doubt you will ever forget.

Dr. Orloff's Monster (1964)

This one gets under my skin in a way that is just lovely. It's perfectly filmed in stark black and while the pretty malaise is set to maximum power. The jazzy score combined with the gothic setting, taboo breaking eroticism, and somnambulitic plotting make Dr. Orloff's Monster a fine example of Franco's early work that show the promise of things to come.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)

I can't even put this one into words other than to say that THIS is 100% essential Jess Franco. You need to see this one yesterday or sooner. The Queen of the Night is waiting...

Vampyros Lesbos (1971) 

My first Franco will always be a favorite. Could I have chosen a more perfect title as my first? I certainly don't think so! Is the THE BEST Jess Franco film? Definitely not, but timing is everything, especially when you're a burgeoning Euro-horror freako. Also, it has the whole bag of Franco's tricks in one colorful and dreamy package. Get it!

Daughter of Dracula (1972)

I love this one even though it's decidedly lower tier Franco. But it's lower tier Franco from my favorite period of his work, so it's pretty great. As usual, Anne Libert steals the movie even when she's just sitting on a wall looking intense. Walk or crawl but definitely don't run to watch this beautiful failure.

Rites of Frankenstein (1973) 

Wait a minute! Isn't this supposed to be called The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein? I don't have that version. I have the sex free Image Entertainment DVD, which is an English dub of the (probably Spanish) censored version. I did not seek out this version on purpose, I swear. It just happened. This is a great example of the power of good old Jess. Even though this film has been chopped up to hell, it still captured my imagination. It's wonderful.

Faceless (1988)

Here's another one of Franco's attempts to change with the times and bring the gore to a story he'd made over and over again. This remake of Eyes Without a Face (1960) is a well that Jess would nearly run dry, but damn, this one is very unique. Tacky 80s bullshit to make your pores leak blood while you cackle at the ecstatic stupidity. Brigitte Lahaie, Caroline Munro, Florence Guérin, and Lina Romay in the same movie?! Need I say any more?

Kiss Me Monster (1969)

Could Jess Franco do comedy? Of course he could! He could do anything. Don't let anyone tell you this isn't a party movie. They don't know how to party. This is one of my absolute favorites and a fine example of the power of cinema to make you feel good for no reason. Heartily and sillily -how is "sillily" not a real word?- recommended.

Bloody Moon (1981)

If not for the actual onscreen murder of a snake, this would be a perfect Euro-slasher. This film's bloody and trashy excesses are only matched by how ridiculous its story and English dubbing are. I strongly recommend Bloody Moon, but as soon as you see that snake, hide your eyes. And that's not a euphemism!

Venus in Furs (1969)

Sing it with me folks: VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'! Another absolute banger from the master. I am almost comically overdue for a rewatch of this film. I've only seen it once(!), but it has stayed with me for years now. This plot is uh... familiar if you've ever seen a Jess Franco film, but whatever, it's great. Get ready to get buried under a mountain of jazzy style.

Night of the Skull (1974)

Another bargain basement Franco giallo and a period piece to boot! This may be cheap, but it fits the mold of the thrillers of the time perfectly. The killer's mask will embarrass you. It embarrasses everyone. You're gonna love it. Carlo Savina's music is probably the most expensive thing this movie has going for it. Worth a look because I genuinely dig this film, but maybe watch this before you get to some of the other classics. I wouldn't save this one for later.

The Other Side of the Mirror (1973)

I'm putting this one on here to remind myself to watch it again. Cheers to my pal David Ladd for getting me the non-porn version finally. The only copy I had for years was the terrible French (I think) version with unrelated genitals cut in to make a spicier cut. That version truly did this masterfully depressing, artful, and nuanced melodrama a disservice. Emma Cohen and Alice Arno? Need I say more?

She Killed in Ecstasy (1971) 

Going out on a high note here, folks. This is one of those movies that sits proudly on my shelves, but every time I see it sitting there, I get too excited to watch it. Soledad Mirana fucking owns this one and this film just makes me angry that she died so damn young. What a nightmare. Life sucks. Oops, sorry. Anyway, this languid, melancholic, and kinky masterpiece is an excellent example of why film is an awesome medium. Strongly recommended.

Giallo Meltdown 2: The Interview

Hello! This is the Doomed Show - Puzzle (1974)

Hello! This is the Doomed Show - Amuck! (1972)

Hello! This is the Doomed Show - Smile Before Death (1972)

Hello! This is the Doomed Show - Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

The Moviethon Vlog 47 - Giallo Meltdown 2

My Favorite First Time Watches of 2023

Thankfully, my life has been very hashtag blessed when compared to how the rest of the world seems to be fairing. I'd love to say the phrase, "This has been a great year!" without the word "catastrophe" stuck in it somewhere. I hope you are doing well and staying sexy as hell so far in the '24. Anyway, last year was a very busy one for me as I was working on this freakin' book pretty much the whole time. Now that it's done, I feel like I can finally breathe and get this one started off right. And the best way to start the year off right is to look at last year for a while.

Before we get to the movies, here are my fave books and manga I read, music I listened to, and TV that I watched.

The Principal, The Substitute, and The Coach by M.C. Sumner - I've been a fanboy of the Super Chillers podcast since its inception and my pal Jeffrey (who co-hosts it) recommended this trilogy of YA horror novels to me, and I absolutely loved them. A vampire takes the job of the new principal at an overcrowded high school and shit goes crazy. If you're looking for some excellently paced, scary, and fun vamp stuff to read, check them out.

 

 

Mieruko Chan (2018 - onging) - I finally took a break from the numerous volumes of Junji Ito and tried a new to me manga that sounded fun, and Mieruko Chan absolutely destroyed my expectations. It is funny, sweet, and unsettling. I can't recommend this one highly enough and I can't wait for the next volume! I haven't seen the anime yet, so I can't speak on if that's worth seeking out. 

 

 

 At the Mountains of Madness (2019) - Speaking of new-ish to me manga, I was completely entranced by Tanabe Gou's superb and very detailed adaptation. I've read a ton of Lovecraft over the years, but I had never managed to get through Mountains. So, this story was completely new to me, and I can't stress enough how glad I am that this was how I chose to finally check it out. I wonder what Lovecraft, that old racist, would have thought of a Japanese man adapting his works.

Marnie Stern - The Comeback Kid (2023) - I waited 10 years for Marnie Stern, one of my top 5 favorite guitarists, to return to scene with a new record. Unsurprisingly, she came back with a vengeance and wrecked my mind with yet another collection of hyper, intricate, and dazzling songs to breathe life into my earholes. 

"Hetty Wainthropp Investigates" (1996-1998) - My wife and I watch a lot of British mystery shows from the golden era of the 80s and 90s, so I was very excited to have finally gotten around to this charming little show. Fans of Patricia Routledge's performance as Hyacinth Bucket on "Keeping Up Appearances" should check out this one out. It was very surprising for me to see Routledge play a character who is tough, smart, and sweet.

And now, my favorite first time watches in alphabetical order!

Abracadabra (1986) - I love watching the cast of this film trying to imitate actual humans. I don't know what Tai-Kit Mak, the director of the live action version of Wicked City (1992), told them, but I don't think it was "Hey, just act natural. You're playing a real person with thoughts and feelings like everybody else." I'm so glad that this insanity exists.

Arcane Sorcerer (1996) - Pupi Avati must have sold his soul to the devil, because his films are consistently excellent. This enigmatic wonder would pair well with the "BBC Ghost Stories for Christmas". Very highly recommended by yours truly.

The Boneyard (1991) - While scouring IMDB for Thanksgiving horror movies, I stumbled upon this oddity that I had forgotten (and often confused with The Vineyard (1989)). The Boneyard is a quirky and actually heartfelt little horror movie. I'm excited to check this one out again next time Thanksgiving is sneaking around the corner.  

Dial Help (1988) - An instant favorite and nearly my favorite film of the year. I'm not a huge fan of Ruggero Deodato's work, but this one just clicked with me. It's outrageously plotted, confusing, hyper-stylized, and just plain crazy. Where's the Blu-ray?

Godzilla Minus One (2023) - I reckon this will be on many, many people's favorites list this year. And it better be! This was the first Godzilla movie to make me cry. It's just insanely great and I'm so happy I got to see it in the theater with my bestie.

The Haunted Cop Shop (1987) - And here's yet another wild Hong Kong vampire film, but this one does some unexpected turns to keep things offbeat. The gags are zany and clever and the film has excellent moments of spooky atmosphere that pair well with the laughs. I can't wait to show this to unsuspecting friends.

A Haunting in Venice (2023) - Well well well. I guess the third time is the charm! I enjoyed Murder on the Orient Express (2017), but I thought Death on the Nile (2022) was very weak. Maybe most people felt that way. The spooky Venice setting is used to excellent effect here. The best thing I can say about A Haunting in Venice is that Branagh finally made a movie that is almost as good as the old Poirot TV series with David Suchet. 

Mausoleum (1983) - I kept putting this film off because I'd heard that there was an unrated version out there somewhere. When I finally got an uncut Blu-ray, I watched it with my Movie Party Crew buds and it was just awesome. All of the excess of the 1980s with boundless energy. What an absolute treat. 

Il medium (1980) - I'm always on the hunt for films that give me "The Vibe" AKA that magical Euro-horror vibe that I have been chasing for so many years. This supernatural giallo hits all of those buttons and more for me. This feels like a forgotten dream and It's my favorite film I watched this year. Seek it out!

Rockula (1990) - Tacky tacky tacky! Why were the 1990s so wonderful? Rockula is meant to be a comedy but it's also incredibly dumb, but I was very charmed by it all. This was a much better horror vehicle for the utterly fabulous and always scene-stealing Toni Basil than the sleepy Slaughterhouse Rock (1988). God bless you, Cannon Films. This is from the director of Ghoulies (1984) so it's little wonder that I enjoyed it so much.

The Unnaturals (1969) - I wish this gothic horror flick by Antonio Margheriti wasn't so hard to find because it is so damn good! It is such a haunting and stylish classic just waiting for more people to see it. This is another "Where's the Blu-ray?" film, because we needed one yesterday. 

Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) - I could have sworn I'd seen this one back in the 90s, but I only recognized one scene! In fact, I played the Warlock video game on my Sega Genesis when I should have been watching this movie instead. This film is hugely imaginative, well made, and just truly excellent stuff. Julian Sands was such an enormous talent and we all miss him terribly.  

Some runners up because my list is so huge!

Dark Harvest (2023) - A stylish surprise that I'm glad I didn't miss. 

Darkroom (1989) - A by-the-numbers slasher that is dumb and fun!

Death Spa (1989) - Relentlessly crazy and over-complicated weirdness. 

Evil Dead Rise (2023) - I just love being trapped in a nightmare.

Howling III (1987) - Beyond dumb. Beyond entertaining. Werewolf walkabout!

Kakashi AKA Scarecrow (2001) - Overlooked J-horror needs to be seen.

Killer Condom (1996) - I wish I'd watched this bonkers gem years ago.

Moonage Daydream (2022) - Only 3 hours? I wish this had been longer!

Nomads (1986) - Very interesting premise with a great cast.

Radioland Murders (1994) - A stacked cast. Beautiful and funny. 

The Witches Mountain (1973) - Very slow but rewarding Spanish horror.

My Horror Shelfie 33 - From House of Dark Shadows through Howling 6

My Horror Shelfie 27 - My Giallo Collection Part 5 - Giallo Boxsets

Talking Giallo Meltdown With Katie Of The Night

I had a freakin' blast talking with Katie of the Night about Giallo Meltdown (and Giallo Meltdown 2) over on her YouTube channel. Be sure to give it a look and peruse her other videos as she goes exploring the depths of the giallo genre. You're gonna have a good time!

My Top 13 Favorite First Time Watches Of 2022

 

 

After successfully reaching my goal of watching over 500 films last year, I decided to give myself a nice break from movie tracking (which I did successfully for like five years or more). But I have been keeping track of my first time watches this year, so I could make this nice list. As usual, my criteria for best first time watches of the year (because there were so many great ones yet again) is that I have to have loved the film AND I can't wait to see it again. Sometimes I see something that blew me away, but I don't when I'd go back for that second viewing. Heck, there are some that I might never watch again! What a concept.

The Big Winners

Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (1991) - Totally wild tale of kaiju, aliens, time travel, and cyborgs. The plot doesn't care about them there pesky ass paradoxes. All it cares about is blowing your dang mind. I can't believe how long it took me to watch this wonderful thing.

Raiders of Atlantis (1983) - Wacko action/sci-fi madness and easily my favorite thing I've seen from the late Ruggero Deodato. The cast is awesome and the plot is outrageous, and that score by De Angelis is wonderful.

Leprechaun 3 (1995) - I had only ever watched part of the first Leprechaun film on cable once, and I saw enough to know the series was not for me. Well, that all changed when LeEtta and I got desperate for some St. Patrick's Day horror stuff. I still don't like the first film all that much or the second. But hot damn, part 3 is where it's at! The whole thing is just bonkers.

Once Upon a Crime (1992) - I have a vague memory of when this came out, but somehow it eluded me for years. Once Upon a Crime was certainly worth the wait, because I doubt I would've appreciated it as a kid.

Blood and Lace (1971) - My pal Brad kept telling me that I was going to love this one and he was not wrong. Like not even a little wrong at all. This one is such a demented little proto-slasher with lots of weirdos characters and a kooky plot. Truly amazing trash.

Get Crazy (1983) - A super charming and goofy New Year's Eve concert film that must be seen to be believed. I really can't wait to see this one again.

The Final Terror (1983) - Now this is early 80s slasher perfection. I can't believe that I slept on this one for many damn years. It didn't help that I was mixing it up with at least two other slashers released around the same time.

Children of the Night (1991) - This charming slice of strange from Fangoria Films made me so damn happy. If you think you've seen it all, just keep digging and you'll get rewarded with some unique and fun stuff like this. Children of the Night would make a great Peter DeLuise double feature when paired up with The Midnight Hour (1985).

Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge (1989) - What a treat! I had been under the impression that I'd seen this one before. But I definitely had not! This one has got some crazy energy to it. 80s as all heck and very entertaining.

The Brain (1988) - I kept confusing The Brain with Frank Henenlotter's Brain Damage (1988), which I only just watched very recently. The Brain is pretty darn wild and weird. And this is a bonus Christmas movie. It's subtle, but it's there. Jingle jingle.

The Initiation of Sarah (1978) - I am a sucker for made-for-TV horror movies as everyone should be. This profoundly dumb schlock has a great cast and two movies packed into it, despite having no time for either to develop. Glad I waited for the Arrow Blu-ray.

Deadly Games (1982) - I love when a slasher movie is way more concerned about the lives of and relationships of the characters than the actual stalking and slashing. Plus, Deadly Games has an odd vibe to it and bonus, it also has some choice giallo imagery! 

Scanners III: The Takeover (1991) - I can't stop thinking about this insanely stupid garbage. It ain't good and rides the line of being awful, but it's just so damn entertaining and truly off-the-wall.

And here is the Not So Much Winners list. All of these films are ones that I heartily recommend, but I am in no rush to see them again in the near or far future. So, unlike the above list which was not arranged in any way, these are arranged from the ones I'm most likely to rewatch someday at the top, and then down to the ones I'd likely not watch again.

The Not So Much Winners

The Peacock King (1988) - More big concept insanity from the director or Story of Ricky (1991).

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993) - Convoluted in the best way and all-around fun stuff.

Alien from L.A. (1988) - A silly and charming mess from Albert Pyun (RIP).

Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984) - Despite being just a tad too long, this is completely outrageous with a strong "what the hell did I just watch?" vibe.

See How They Run (2022) - A funny whodunit that is straight up good times. Sam Rockwell for the win.

The Band Wagon (1953) - If you're in the mood for a nutty musical with a contrived love story, you could definitely do worse. 

Halloween Ends (2022) - A breath of fresh air and my favorite of the new Halloween trilogy.

Dark Glasses (2022) - Our good buddy Dario Argento gave us a nice treat this year. While it didn't blow the doors off the place, it felt like a good return to form.

Shock 'Em Dead (1991) - Heavy metal horror that will destroy your brain cells.

Christmas in July (1940) - Charming and very funny comedy. Seek it out.

Def by Temptation (1990) - A huge surprise and just magical.

Rubber (2010) - What the actual frickin' frick is this? Seriously wow.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) - Totally jaw-dropping and heartfelt brilliance.

Vibrations (1996) - One of the strangest pieces of 90s crapola out there.

Cute Devil AKA Kawaii Akuma (1982) - Another Obayashi oddity. Spooky good times.

Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993) - Better than the original and my favorite of the series.

Pearl (2022) - An outstanding film from the always reliable Ti West.

The Black Phone (2021) - Masterful storytelling, acting, and direction.

The Night House (2020) - Scary and beautiful stuff that got under my skin.

Last Night in Soho (2021) - A slam dunk in the form of a British neo-giallo.

Barbarian (2022) - A badass horror film that left me feeling thrilled and dirty.

Prey (2022) - A totally unexpected treat.

Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018) - A major tearjerker and a fine portrait of a unique and wonderful person who once walked on this planet.

The Moviethon Vlog 46 - My Horror Hallway

My Horror Shelfie 26 - My Giallo Collection Part 4

My Horror Shelfie 25 - My Giallo Collection Part 3

Once again I have talked to and with a camera.

My Horror Shelfie 24 - My Giallo Collection Part 2

 

Review Roundup!

Here's a whole mess of my recent reviews! Check 'em out!

She Freak

Blades

The Fourth Victim

Midnight

Shallow Grave

Death Screams

Tough Guys Don't Dance

Resurrection

A Day of Judgement 

What Really Happened to Baby Jane?

The Chinese Boxer

Nothing Underneath/Too Beautiful To Die 

Ticks 

The Laughing Dead 

Elvira's Haunted Hills 

La posesión de Altair

The Collingswood Story 

Malignant

Krampus

Sleep 

Delirium

Curfew

 

My Horror Shelfie 23 - Giallo Collection Part 1

Howdy there. I got sort of smart and decided to jump the gun on discussing my entire giallo collection. Here's the first part of what will likely be a five part series. It is possible that I have many gialli on DVD and Blu-ray. I hope you have fun watching this. Stay tuned for more AKA please like and subscribe (yuck, who says that crap?)!

Giallo Meltdown: Slashing Back To You

  

I'm back in the world of what some people refer to as "writing a book". To keep folks (hopefully) excited about the second volume of Giallo Meltdown, I have shared the latest chapter right here. There's few things I enjoy more than wandering around that twilight world where the giallo and the slasher meet. Italian and Spanish filmmakers fresh from the giallo craze making slashers and American filmmakers making slashers that might as well be gialli. It gives me goosebumps in my unmentionable though non-physical areas. I hope you enjoy this installment as it will be the ninth chapter of Giallo Meltdown 2. Will the book be 13 chapters or more? Maybe!

P.S. The title of this chapter is a little nod to this classic.