My Horror Shelfie #47 - From Rabid To The Rocky Horror Picture Show

My Favorite First Time Watches Of 2025

 

Silly as it sounds, I can't help but get so freakin' excited around this time every year because it's time once again to get out my creepy notebook and peruse my first time watches. My hope is that you will find something in here you forgot about or haven't heard of before to add to your "To Watch" list for 2026. My brain is already electrified with all of the stuff I can barely wait to get to in the coming year. Sadly, I only watched like 90 new-to-me movies this year. Ugh, that is awful! I did a whole mess of rewatching favorite shows and movies. 2026 will be different, trust me. I did watch one new show that I loved called "Murderbot" (2025). Highly recommended.

Before I get started, I want to mention a couple of things I did that I would be grateful if you'd lend your eyes/ears to. I put out two albums of ambient music this year. One on the techno side of things and another of the ambient guitar variety. The first is Light Pollution and the second is Sleep/Walk Situationer. I'm immensely proud of these releases, and don't worry, I'll make more! My musical moniker is The Slow Wizard and my YouTube channel where I share my meager attempts at learning synthesizers and other doodads is chugging along. And lastly, the Hello! This is the Doomed Show podcast is still going strong as is my Doomed Moviethon channel. 

In other news: Doomed Moviethon Dot Com celebrated its 20 year anniversary in 2025. I can't believe that I've been writing about horror and cult movies for twenty freakin' years. Unreal. To all of you who have been there supporting my work all this time or folks new to my nightmare worldview, thank you one thousand and five times. I guess I'll keep doing this shiz. 

Okay, that's enough self advertisement -though you should really check out this commercial I made. Anyway! Here are my favorite films I watched this year. As usual, this is not a top 10 list and the order is mostly random, though my favorite film of the year always gets the top spot. Let's go!

Keeper (2025)

Anyone who knows me definitely saw this choice coming as my favorite film of the year. What can I say? I'm always up for the strangeness that Osgood Perkins is going to deliver. And Keeper is certainly a strange one! I went to the theater and it turned out that I was the only person who'd bought a ticket for that night's showing. So there I was, alone in the room, dead center in a sea of empty seats, and regretting not being able to convince LeEtta to come with me. Why? Because I was freakin' scared! (And also this film should have done better.) I can't wait to get this on disc and see it again!

The Vourdalak (2023)

Oh, hello there, France. I remember seeing an early trailer for this and thinking, "I NEED TO SEE THIS." Then finally, it popped up for rent and I went for it. Between the masterful version of this story from Mario Bava in Black Sabbath (1963) and the gory version called Night of the Devils (1972), I never expected another adaptation to hit as hard for me as The Vourdalak does. First time feature film director Adrien Beau (not to be confused with Adrian Belew) takes this film to some very atmospheric, ghoulish, and surreal places. What a treat!

Murder on the Orient Express (1974)

LeEtta and I watch a whole bunch of Agatha Christie adaptations all the time, so I've seen multiple versions of her classic tale. And yet somehow, I had missed this star-studded affair from total boss, Sidney Lumet. Everyone in this film is a who's who of awesome A-listers from multiple generations of Hollywood, but it's Albert Finney's gleeful portrayal of Hercule Poirot that makes this one a new favorite I'll enjoy time and time again. 

Oddity (2024)

I can't get excited about The Conjuring or Insidious movies. They're fine, but I've never seen past the second installments of either franchise. Then a movie like Oddity comes along and, for my money, does what those films do, but better. Or at least, it does ghosts really, really well without the cheap -I'm not talking budget- feeling. This spooky ass film also has Carolyn Bracken in it, an actress that I can't take my eyes off. And she is great in this! 

Loft (2005)

I kept stashing this one for a rainy day and when that rainy day arrived, I was totally blown away. Kiyoshi Kurosawa has had the most incredible career, and every time I find another one of his that I haven't seen before, I feel hashtag blessed. How he manages to get so much dread and creepiness into his films is nothing short of miraculous. One of the things I love about him, and something that is absolutely true of Loft, is his films move in such unexpected ways. A fine journey to Hell. 

Sinners (2025)

Usually, I am prepared for a film to hit me in the emotional solar plexus. For instance, I knew Godzilla Minus One (2023) was going to get me, and it did! But the ugly crying I did after Sinners was nearly out of control. Even trying to talk about this film had me choking up for a days afterward. It comes down to emotionally connecting with the characters. The performances, the script, the music, and the production design all came together exquisitely. Those things along with the assured hand of a great director, this was bound to hit and hit hard. The night I saw this film, I was in the presence of greatness.

L.A. Bounty (1989)

I was feeling sad about the passing of Wings Hauser, and I snagged a few of his lesser known (to me) titles and L.A. Bounty was my favorite of the handful I checked out. He plays the whacked out villain in this one and not surprisingly, he almost steals the whole movie. This one is Sybil Danning's show through and through. She plays a mostly mute bounty hunter who will kick your dick inside out. You need to see this.

Hercules (1983)

Luigi Cozzi made a sci-fi sword and sandal movie in the 1980s packed with eye-popping special effects?! And it's got Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning, William Berger, Bobby Rhodes, AND Gianni Garko? Then sign me up! Hercules has just tiniest bit of lag in its energy in the last reel, but otherwise this one is damn near perfect. It's pretty wild. I have to give credit to my childhood favorite, Clash of the Titans (1981), for inspiring the little wave of fantasy films like this and Lucio Fulci's Conquest (1983).

Furiosa (2024)

Sadly, the negative hype of this one got to me -partly that it was a prequel and partly that it was going to be more CGI-heavy than Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)- so I didn't see it in theaters last year. That was dumb of me! I should have had faith in George Miller, because I enjoyed Furiosa so damn much. The weirdness and the contemplative moments of Fury Road were expanded into this insanity. As usual, I'm looking forward to rewatching the whole franchise from start to finish, and I'll be excited to see how this one plays out with the rest of the films.

Strike Commando 2 (1988) 

While I very much enjoyed Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso's Strike Commando (1987), this sequel never missed a beat for me in terms of the awkward, cornball bullshit I want from a shockingly derivative Italian action film. The characters are total weirdos that make me laugh every time they open their mouths, usually to scream at each other and the action scenes are actually cool even though they almost make zero sense sometimes.  

The Monkey (2025)

Did I actually get two Osgood Perkins films in one year and they were both great? Yes, but also yes. While Keeper was more in keeping with what I crave from Perkins's work, The Monkey is a solid entry in his filmography. While I'm pretty much done with gore for comedy sake -though there are exceptions like Psycho Goreman (2020)- there's a great deal of heart stashed away in this outrageous film. 

Black Tight Killers (1966)

I had never heard of this film until Radiance posted the boffo trailer for it, and I turned it off after just a few seconds because the fire had been lit. When the Blu-ray arrived, the film exceeded my expectations! If you need some dynamic spectacle in your life, then Black Tight Killers is for you. It's a pop art explosion with a bonkers ass plot. 

The Night of the Walking Dead (1975)

Rod and Troy of the The Naschycast covered this film ages ago on their show and I very patiently waited for someone, somewhere to put this one out in a non-shitty bootleg/download. Sure enough, Severin Films came in like champs and I was finally able to see this one on a nicey nice Blu-ray. This León Klimovsky jam was totally worth the wait. If you need more strange and atmospheric Spanish horror in your life, then bump this one up in your queue. 

Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025)

Well, dress me up in a tinsel tutu and call me Rudolf, I did not see this last one coming at all. This new take on the freaky ass SNDN franchise hit all the right sleigh bells for LeEtta and I. We absolutely loved this. I love how they too what folks who are familiar with the first film and threw a whole new spin on it, and I think made this just a cool film for newbies. I can't wait to get my hands on this one in the new year.

Honorable Mentions

Surf II (1983) - Truly bizarre spoof movie and sequel to nothing. 

Ferrari (2023) - Classy. Cars are cool or whatever.

The Lady Vanishes (1979) - A cozy and delightful film. 

Mickey 17 (2025) - Do we need more dystopian sci-fi? Always.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979) - Essential 1970s trash. 

Trancers II (1991) - Oh my God! Almost better than the original. 

Stopmotion (2023) - Sad and damn good horror to depress you.

Lady Morgan's Revenge (1965) - Excellent Italian gothic.

Camp Fear (1991) - Almost a fave of the year but I can't remember it.

Prime Cut (1972) - This is so good and so badass that I can't even.

Hired to Kill (1990) - Outrageous and cheap action. A parody?

An Eternal Combat (1991) - Very imaginative Hong Kong goodness.

The Power (1984) - Ambitious horror schlock.

Cut (2000) - Aussie slasher goodness that is pretty wild. 

Weapons (2025) - I want to bottle and sell this one's energy.  

Mister Scarface (1976) - Silly but charming poliziotteschi from my birth year.

Worst Films I Watched This Year

Bloody Psycho (1989) - Just jaw-droppingly bad. Kind of infuriating.

Summer Catch (2001) - Cinematic food poisoning.

Children of the Living Dead (2001) - Brutally sucky, but in a bad way. 

My Favorite First Time Watches Of 2024

Hey there, my friends. It's that time again. For an entire year, I wrote down every single one of my first time watches, and now it's time to blab about my favey faves. As usual, there is no ranking to this list. It's just a big old pile of movies and it's up to you to rank them from best to worst on your time. Not my time. Your time. This is my LetterBLOGxd account.

Before you read on, be sure to take a gander at my little book that I released at the beginning of this year called Giallo Meltdown 2 or any of these fun cameos I did on other people's cool shows this year. Like this one or this one or this one or this one. Anyway, I am so grateful that you are here and I hope you enjoy this blogging blog.

Cuckoo (2024)

I know I said I wasn't going to rank this list but here's my favorite film of the year! I was so totally blown away by Luz (2018) that I was up for pretty much anything that writer/director Tilman Singer had in his pocket. Cuckoo is a gorgeous, intense, and totally freakin' weird horror movie/sci-fi thriller. Some folks were put off by how the mechanics of what is going in this film are never explained, but I couldn't care less. Give me the strange, please. I can't wait to watch this one again.

Don't Look Up (1996)

From director Hideo Nakata and writer Hiroshi Takahashi comes this spooky gem that gave me some hair-raising frights. But it's not just another long-haired lady ghost horror movie from the classic late 90s/early 00s Japanese horror boom, Don't Look Up is also about the magic of filmmaking. Where is the damn Blu-ray for this one?!

The Blue Jean Monster (1991)

I hope that I never run out of Hong Kong comedy horror films to discover. This one is completely crazy, endlessly entertaining, and very stupid. You can read my full review right here.

Lovers Lane (2000)

Speaking of stuff that I didn't know existed. Literally a month before the Arrow Video Blu-ray was announced, I was like "How have I never heard of this slasher? Dang it, I want to see that!" And then there it was. Lovers Lane is a barely functional slasher that is as cheap as it is lovable.

The Devil Rides Out (1968)

This film had been eluding me for years and I kept hearing from my bud Brad that it was great, so I finally made time to give it a whirl. And boy oh boy, am I glad that I did! The Devil Rides Out is Hammer Films firing on all cylinders. Christopher Lee and Charles Gray are absolutely perfect here. If this satanic horror classic isn't already on your list to check out, I highly recommend you add it.

Seedpeople (1992)

I knew that Full Moon Pictures was gonna bring it, and they certainly did with Seedpeople. This is delightfully daft and a lot of fun. The effects are imaginative and if you like a goofy monster movie, you're gonna have a blast. This film would make a great pairing with some friends and some alcohol or something.

Bloodmoon (1990)

Oh, Australia, I knew you had my back. Bloodmoon is completely friggin' crazy. It's a slasher with some hilarious performances AND a lot of schmaltz AND cheese. Highly recommended if you think you've seen every slasher from the tail end of the classic era.

Death on the Nile (1978)

Remember that new version of Death on the Nile from 2022? I sure don't! LeEtta and I watch a lot of Agatha Christie, and yet this version was unknown to us. This is some star-studded throwback to old Hollywood from the director of King Kong (1976). If you love a stacked cast and a fun mystery, then you are gonna love this one. 

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)

Holy heck. Speaking of films I should have watched AGES AGO. I was doing Pedro Almodóvar dirty by thinking I knew who he was and that I'd seen a couple of his films. Nope! I was just confused. Anyway, there are no words to describe how much I loved this film. It's an astoundingly beautiful comedy that is just wild as all get out. A must see.

Top Line (1988)

Director Nello Rossati could make some oddball trash films and Top Line is no exception. This Franco Nero vehicle is an action, adventure, and sci-fi mashup that is certifiably brain melting. Do whatever you can to avoid looking at trailers, screenshots, or plot stuff on IMDB. If you like Italian junk, just go into this one blind. Now I feel as though I need to see Rossati's Django Strikes Back (1987) which also features Nero, natch.

Longlegs (2024)

If y'all know me then you knew that Longlegs was gonna be on this list. What an absolutely horrific treat from Osgood Perkins. I'm curious to see if this one will have the rewatchability factor that both I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016) and Gretel & Hansel (2020) have for me. This one sunk into my skin quite deep, but I need a while before I see it again. Otherwise, this might have ranked higher. BUT that being said, I totally loved the hell out of it.

Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue (1992)

I talked about this sci-fi horror monsterpiece in my INV4SIAN wrap-up a few months ago. This one has everything you could ever want from a badass tokusatsu film and more! This is an hour and a half of magic. Seek it out.

Reibyo densetsu (1983)

I have seen Nobuhiko Ôbayashi films that have confused me and made my eyes explode, but I've never seen one that I didn't love. There's nothing about this film that isn't wonderful, dreamy, eccentric, and damn near perfect. It's a celebration of old timey horror movies and a throwback to the early days of movie making. Would make an excellent double feature with Don't Look Up (1996). 

Black Narcissus (1947) and The Red Shoes (1948)

I needed to check these two masterpieces off my list of arthouse shame, and here we are. If you require the power of pure cinema and will accept nothing less than the best, then get these two films in your face now. Directors Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger must have sold their damn souls to the devil to produce back to back works such as these. Hopefully, you already know these and are wondering how the heck I hadn't seen them before! Breathtaking.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (1983)

Did you want more Ôbayashi? So did I! This nostalgic little slice of brilliance is almost too beautiful to look at. It's as sweet as it is experimental. I would love to know how influential this film was on Japanese cinema and especially on anime. Superb.

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)

Speaking of Hammer Films, I have to share my shame here. I totally thought that I'd seen this one before for a long time. The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) was the one I have seen multiple times and every time I watched that I would assume that I had seen its predecessor. Incorrect! Just five minutes in to Curse I was like "Hold on! This is all new to me! Wut?" Anyway, I would be a fool not to adore this all-timer. Don't tell anyone that my Hammer horror ignorance is showing. 

The Visitants (1986)

I have to close out this list with something that feels like it was made just for me. Rick Sloane, the director of Hobgoblins (1988), wrote, directed, and co-produced this oddball sci-fi/comedy crud and I just adored it so much. It's not good. When it was over, I looked at LeEtta and said, "Well, we've watched shitty Rocky Horror." She agreed. If you're looking for something bad but imaginative and weird to pair with The Midnight Hour (1985) next Halloween season, then give this one a look.

Here's a list of a bunch of other films I strongly enjoyed:

- The Eternal Daughter (2022)
- Where the Boys Are (1960)
- Thelma (2024)
- Slithis (1978)
- Late Night with the Devil (2023)
- Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
- Sailor Suit and Machine Gun (1981)
- I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
- Dragons Forever (1988)
- Wicked Little Letters (2023)
- Flesh and Fantasy (1943)
- MaXXXine (2024)
- Charade (1963)
- Fatal Games (1984)
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
- Rabid Grannies (1988)
- Eating Raoul (1982)
- Killer Fish (1979)

Worst things I watched this year:

- The Curse of the Screaming Dead (1982) - Brutally boring.
- Hansel and Gretel (1990) - Dull and flat Italian crud.
- Full Moon High (1981) - Unfunny disaster of a comedy.
- Hana no asuka gumi! (1988) - Overly long and directionless.
- Blood Suckers (1971) - An un-entertaining mess.
- The Defilers (1965) - Gross and ugly.
- Rent-a-Cop (1987) - Not even Liza can save this.
- The Crow: Salvation (2000) - What was that?!

The INV4SIAN: Review Roundup

Well, happy Halloween everybody! This post will conclude an entire month of Asian cinema reviews here at the Cinema Somnambulist blog palace. I hope you all have been enjoying this cavalcade of goodness (and only occasional not-so-greatness). As usual, I have watched way more films than I can hope to write full reviews of within any kind of a thing called "time". So, here's a list of 13 more films that I watched in order to celebrate Asian cinema. Check it out:

Skin Striperess (1992)

Skin Stripperess is the trashy tale of a shady dude pimping out his girlfriend to secure investors for a beachfront development project. When she dies in a freak electrical accident, her spirit returns and funks his ship up. A monk (Ching-Ying Lam) is called in to exorcise her spirt. It doesn’t go very well. I enjoy this film’s gore (especially that skin stripping), colorful lighting, and liberal use of fog machines. Unfortunately, there’s animal violence with frogs and snakes getting murdered onscreen. Dig the music lifted from Lucio Fulci’s City of the Living Dead (1980) on this film’s score. I kind of liked this one, but would never sit through it again.

A Monstrous Corpse (1981)

This Korean remake of Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) is somewhat disjointed and flat, but has enough cool moments to warrant a viewing for fans of Jorge Grau's masterpiece. The story (that follows the original's very closely with only slight variations) is about an experimental radio transmitter that awakens the dead. The version I'm reviewing is either censored or was very tame from the get go, but that's okay since the countryside setting is beautiful and the music features some neato synthesizer work. Not too shabby, but not essential viewing.

Mail (2004)

Mail is a collection of stories featuring a detective who specializes in sending ghosts to the afterlife. After being very impressed by the manga by Housui Yamazaki, I have to admit I was a little let down by this shot on video (and probably made for TV) adaptation. Part of the problem is that it's so cheap looking, but also I wasn't expecting an episodic collection of stories crammed into a feature length movie. Stylistically, this movie can be summed up in the main character's ridiculous looking baggy leather pants. You're better off reading the manga, though Chiaki Kuriyama (of Battle Royale (2000) fame) is in this and she makes everything better (sometimes).

Witch from Nepal (1986)

Before you even ask, it's not pronounced "weyatch frown nipple". Chow Yun-Fat plays Joe, just your average Jim, who ends up getting himself involved in a supernatural battle against the forces of evil. He also strikes up a romance with magical Sheila (Emily Chu), much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Ida. Witch from Nepal is pretty awesome with its magical fun, dreamlike qualities, emphasis on spectacle, corny love story, and genuine weirdness. Low key but also kind of essential if you're a fan of Hong Kong madness. At the time of this review, Witch from Nepal is on Tubi. Go for it!

Kakashi AKA Scarecrow (2001)

A remote village is getting ready for their Wicker Man-like festival by putting up nightmarish scarecrows all over the damn place. Kaoru (Maho Nonami) has shown up in the middle of tthis wacko fest to find her missing brother. She should have not done that. This quiet and eerie little movie was a nice creepy surprise. Any time I can find a Japanese horror film from the late 1990s/early 2000s heyday that is unseen by me, I'm gonna jump on it. Kakashi is tinged with a melancholic vibe and is graced with beautiful cinematography and cool sound design. Director Norio Tsuruta has made quite a few horror films in their career including Ring 0: Birthday (2000). I wish Kakashi was more talked about. I mean more than me right now. Highly recommended. 

Ghost Eyes (1974)

Pao-ling (played by Szu-Chia Chen) is a manicurist that meets a mysterious optometrist who seems to have some strange power over her. Could he be a vampire? This is a solid horror film from the director of COrpse Mania (1981). It has some scary moments, is super melodramatic, but also brings the silliness at times. I ended up rooting for the heroine. I really wanted her to be okay. The music and the cinematography give this one some occasional giallo feels which I always appreciate. 

Look Out, Officer! (1990)

Seasoned police detective Piao (Bill Tung) is killed by a smelly drug kingpin and returns from the afterlife as a ghost. He teams up with police cadet Hsing (Stephen Chow) and his former partner (Stanley Sui-Fan Fung) to set things right. This one is pretty bad (those fart and pee jokes), but enjoyable enough for Stephen Chow fans. A cat poops on an altar... twice. There are some clever gags and I got a kick out of the hokey music stingers on the soundtrack. There's plenty of ghostly malfeasance and even some sorcery in the plot. There are some jokes at the expense of Vietnamese immigrants. Boo. No one asked for that.

Exte: Hair Extensions (2007)

A body is discovered in a crate of human hair. Thanks to a shady security guard/hair fetishist at the morgue, the hair ends up getting sent to a hairdresser and used as extensions. But it's cursed hair, y'all! So yes, this is truly one of the strangest films I've ever seen, which is hardly surprising since it comes from writer/director Sion Sono. Chiaki Kuriyama stars in this one and well, you know, she rocks. This isn't all just freaky and hilarious weirdness. Exte is also emotionally brutal and can get pretty disturbing. If I reveal too much, it would be a disservice since you need to see this one for yourself.

Howling Village (2019)

A lady goes searching for her brother who disappeared at the legendary “Howling Village”. I freakin’ love how prolific Takashi Shimizu is. The guy has directed over 25 horror movies and TV shows at the time of this writing. Howling Village is a very pretty and gloomily atmospheric film with some overly melodramatic moments near the finale, but overall, it’s a solid effort. Keep an eye out for Renji Ishibashi, one of my favorite character actors whose credits have already pushed past the 400 mark. The worst thing I can say about this film is that it felt about 5 minutes too long for me. I suspect that if you’re vibing with it, you won’t mind at all.

Forbidden Siren (2006)

Oh no! Not another cursed village movie! Why does this keep crappening to me?! In 1976, a terrible disaster struck a small island village leaving only one survivor. A writer moves there with his two kids and is warned by the locals not to go out at night when the island's siren goes off. His daughter (Yui Ichikawa) almost immediately discovers that shit just ain't right in this spooky place. This one really surprised me. It has a really cool, unique vibe to it. I dig the Lovecraftian vibes and the claustrophobic nature of the island setting. Now I want to play the video game it's based on.

Heartbeat 100 (1987)

Trying to remember the plot of this movie is almost impossible thanks to my gibberish notes. BUT... I will try. Murderous thieves hiding out in a small village terrorize some tourists, including a writer (Maggie Cheung), who's just looking for a relaxing working vacation. That should do it. Anyway, Heartbeat 100 won me over with its uncomplicated plot, spooky moments, garish lighting, surprising gore, corny comedic situations, and a killer ceiling fan. It's basic as hell but entertaining. Not a strong recommend, but if you're in the mood for some Hong Kong trash, give it a whirl. One of the characters is named Weeny Eyes and also there's a poodle named Chu-Chu.

Vampire Hunters (2003)

Four vampire fighting monks battle the forces of evil to save the life of a beautiful girl. That is the VERY SHORT version because, this is way too complicated to get into here. I kept seeing this one for rent at Hollywood Video, but never took a chance on it. I'm really glad that I finally did because it's a winner! Co-produced and written by Tsui Hark and directed by actor-turned-director Wellson Chin, Vampire Hunters is very imaginative with some inventive gore and cool vampires. This came out right before dodgy CGI took over, but there's a few cruddy digital touches here and there. A lot of the film takes place on sound stages with practical effects aplenty. There's also just the right amount of humor mixed in to keep things from ever getting too serious. 

Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue (1992)

Thanks to his dad's experimentation, college athlete Shin becomes Kamen Rider, a half-man, half-grasshopper superhero. It's up to him to battle an evil syndicate called "The Syndicate", who plan on using his dad's work to take over the world. Where has this movie been all my life? The creature effects are as cool as they are slimy. With its schlocky melodrama and heightened over acting from the cast, this one just hits all the right beats for me. It plays like a kids movie, but there's nudity (laughable swimming pool sex scene) and tons of violence (arterial spray!). The jammin' synthesizer score alone should make this essential viewing for 1980s creature feature enthusiasts. Based on the hit TV series that has spawned many, many iterations, I heartily recommend this and its very fun sequel from the following year called Kamen Rider ZO (1993).

THE INVASIAN: The Blue Jean Monster (1991)

A super cop named Joe (Fui-On Shing) has got problems. Aside from the fact that he died in the line of duty and was resurrected by a glowing cat and a downed powerline, his very pregnant wife Chu (Siu-Fung Wong) has had it with his tireless dedication to his work while she is left neglected and full of his enormous baby. She’s also very tired of his ne’er-do-well sidekick named Power Steering (Wai-Kit Tse), a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who Joe has all but adopted into their family. Now Chu has to deal with Gucci (Glorida Yip), a girl on the run from some bank robbers after she ran off with their stolen loot that Joe is letting hide at their place. Did I mention that Joe is the living dead?

I don’t really know much about director Kai-Ming Lai other than he directed Daughter of Darkness (1993), a pretty infamous Category III sleazefest. The Blue Jean Monster (1991) is rude, crude, charming, convoluted, and totally weird. This goofy horror slash action slash superhero slash comedy movie is a shining example of the “something for everyone” Hong Kong movie I adore. You cannot predict what is going to come next in this thing. For instance, the plot gets derailed for a long time while a character named Power Steering and another character named Gucci are trying to prove that Joe is, in fact, a zombie and/or a vampire through all kinds of lamebrained schemes. It’s totally wacko.

This cast is so dang amazing. I have seen Fui-On Shing in many, many Hong Kong films over the years, but I think this is my first where he was the lead. He’s such a magnificent presence in Blue Jean Monster. His giant face can and will consume your soul. I love how he plays Joe as such a good-natured goofball. The stunning Siu-Fung Wong of Mr. Vampire (1985) and Her Vengeance (1988) plays his ball busting wife. Super cute Gloria Yip of The Cat (1992) and The Story of Ricky (1991) is on hand as the just obnoxious enough, Gucci. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the legendary Jun Kunimura of pretty much every movie ever made as the leader of the bank robbers.

If you get hyped up for cool action setpieces, slapstick comedy, some nauseating gross out jokes, and baffling stylistic choices in pretty much every scene, then The Blue Jean Monster is for you. I really hope that watching this film lovingly restored on Blu-ray is a sign of things to come. I would love to retire some – heck, make it all – of the awful copies I have of obscure Hong Kong horror junk from old bootlegs and truly gnarly downloads I’ve been stockpiling since the early 2000s in favor of these beautiful discs. Keep ‘em comin’, y’all. I’ll be watching.

THE INVASIAN: Ghost Nursing (1982)

Jackie (Shirley Yim) is a gambling addict who got herself into some serious trouble when her boyfriend’s jewel heist went awry. Now she’s on the run and heads to Thailand where her pal hooks her up with a job as a sex worker, which she is absolutely not into. When that too goes completely wrong, Jackie goes to see a sorcerer (Billy Chan) who informs her that her string of bad luck is because she is the reincarnation of a dead criminal. His solution is to adopt a ghost child to turn her fortunes around.

All that Jackie must do is follow some very specific instructions or all darn heck will break loose. You know where this is going, right? Suddenly, our main character is getting the lover she wants, and the rest of her troubles just seem to disappear. The thing is that Jackie is having too much fun to notice that anyone who crosses her while she’s protected by this ghost kid faces some dire and/or grave consequences. And because she’s a jerk, she totally screws up her daily ritual. See? I told you that you would know where this was going!

The world of Hong Kong cinema was changed forever when Ghost Nursing (1982) was released. Okay, don’t look that up because it’s not true. I was struggling with how to start this review, and that was the best I could come up with. While actor turned director Wilson Tong wasn’t dropping the most original film I’ve seen from this genre, he certainly didn’t skimp on infusing his film with a lots of energy, silliness, and over-the-top schlock. The film is populated with some HK genre regulars like Norman Chu of Seeding of a Ghost (1983) and Melvin Wong of Bewitched (1981), just to name a couple.

While I wouldn’t put Ghost Nursing on a top tier or essentials list, it is just so damn awesome to get more Hong Kong horror on Blu-ray. All of the appropriate amounts of sleaze, violence, tacky sets and costumes, and gross-out gags are here. If you’re at all like me, you’ll be yelling at your TV trying to get Jackie to stop dicking around and do right by her adopted ghost baby. Surprisingly (and thankfully), the whole "nursing" part of the Ghost Nursing title doesn't become a hyper-sexualized thing. That would've been pretty freaky. Also, the ending of this film is so baffling and unsatisfying that it kind of accidentally becomes satisfying in its own way. Animal lovers beware, this film has a dead monkey in it. It’s not killed onscreen but if you’re bummed out by that kind of stuff, you now have fair warning.