After successfully reaching my goal of watching over 500 films last year, I decided to give myself a nice break from movie tracking (which I did successfully for like five years or more). But I have been keeping track of my first time watches this year, so I could make this nice list. As usual, my criteria for best first time watches of the year (because there were so many great ones yet again) is that I have to have loved the film AND I can't wait to see it again. Sometimes I see something that blew me away, but I don't when I'd go back for that second viewing. Heck, there are some that I might never watch again! What a concept.
The Big Winners
Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (1991) - Totally wild tale of kaiju, aliens, time travel, and cyborgs. The plot doesn't care about them there pesky ass paradoxes. All it cares about is blowing your dang mind. I can't believe how long it took me to watch this wonderful thing.
Raiders of Atlantis (1983) - Wacko action/sci-fi madness and easily my favorite thing I've seen from the late Ruggero Deodato. The cast is awesome and the plot is outrageous, and that score by De Angelis is wonderful.
Leprechaun 3 (1995) - I had only ever watched part of the first Leprechaun film on cable once, and I saw enough to know the series was not for me. Well, that all changed when LeEtta and I got desperate for some St. Patrick's Day horror stuff. I still don't like the first film all that much or the second. But hot damn, part 3 is where it's at! The whole thing is just bonkers.
Once Upon a Crime (1992) - I have a vague memory of when this came out, but somehow it eluded me for years. Once Upon a Crime was certainly worth the wait, because I doubt I would've appreciated it as a kid.
Blood and Lace (1971) - My pal Brad kept telling me that I was going to love this one and he was not wrong. Like not even a little wrong at all. This one is such a demented little proto-slasher with lots of weirdos characters and a kooky plot. Truly amazing trash.
Get Crazy (1983) - A super charming and goofy New Year's Eve concert film that must be seen to be believed. I really can't wait to see this one again.
The Final Terror (1983) - Now this is early 80s slasher perfection. I can't believe that I slept on this one for many damn years. It didn't help that I was mixing it up with at least two other slashers released around the same time.
Children of the Night (1991) - This charming slice of strange from Fangoria Films made me so damn happy. If you think you've seen it all, just keep digging and you'll get rewarded with some unique and fun stuff like this. Children of the Night would make a great Peter DeLuise double feature when paired up with The Midnight Hour (1985).
Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge (1989) - What a treat! I had been under the impression that I'd seen this one before. But I definitely had not! This one has got some crazy energy to it. 80s as all heck and very entertaining.
The Brain (1988) - I kept confusing The Brain with Frank Henenlotter's Brain Damage (1988), which I only just watched very recently. The Brain is pretty darn wild and weird. And this is a bonus Christmas movie. It's subtle, but it's there. Jingle jingle.
The Initiation of Sarah (1978) - I am a sucker for made-for-TV horror movies as everyone should be. This profoundly dumb schlock has a great cast and two movies packed into it, despite having no time for either to develop. Glad I waited for the Arrow Blu-ray.
Deadly Games (1982) - I love when a slasher movie is way more concerned about the lives of and relationships of the characters than the actual stalking and slashing. Plus, Deadly Games has an odd vibe to it and bonus, it also has some choice giallo imagery!
Scanners III: The Takeover (1991) - I can't stop thinking about this insanely stupid garbage. It ain't good and rides the line of being awful, but it's just so damn entertaining and truly off-the-wall.
And here is the Not So Much Winners list. All of these films are ones that I heartily recommend, but I am in no rush to see them again in the near or far future. So, unlike the above list which was not arranged in any way, these are arranged from the ones I'm most likely to rewatch someday at the top, and then down to the ones I'd likely not watch again.
The Not So Much Winners
The Peacock King (1988) - More big concept insanity from the director or Story of Ricky (1991).
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993) - Convoluted in the best way and all-around fun stuff.
Alien from L.A. (1988) - A silly and charming mess from Albert Pyun (RIP).
Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984) - Despite being just a tad too long, this is completely outrageous with a strong "what the hell did I just watch?" vibe.
See How They Run (2022) - A funny whodunit that is straight up good times. Sam Rockwell for the win.
The Band Wagon (1953) - If you're in the mood for a nutty musical with a contrived love story, you could definitely do worse.
Halloween Ends (2022) - A breath of fresh air and my favorite of the new Halloween trilogy.
Dark Glasses (2022) - Our good buddy Dario Argento gave us a nice treat this year. While it didn't blow the doors off the place, it felt like a good return to form.
Shock 'Em Dead (1991) - Heavy metal horror that will destroy your brain cells.
Christmas in July (1940) - Charming and very funny comedy. Seek it out.
Def by Temptation (1990) - A huge surprise and just magical.
Rubber (2010) - What the actual frickin' frick is this? Seriously wow.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) - Totally jaw-dropping and heartfelt brilliance.
Vibrations (1996) - One of the strangest pieces of 90s crapola out there.
Cute Devil AKA Kawaii Akuma (1982) - Another Obayashi oddity. Spooky good times.
Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993) - Better than the original and my favorite of the series.
Pearl (2022) - An outstanding film from the always reliable Ti West.
The Black Phone (2021) - Masterful storytelling, acting, and direction.
The Night House (2020) - Scary and beautiful stuff that got under my skin.
Last Night in Soho (2021) - A slam dunk in the form of a British neo-giallo.
Barbarian (2022) - A badass horror film that left me feeling thrilled and dirty.
Prey (2022) - A totally unexpected treat.
Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018) - A major tearjerker and a fine portrait of a unique and wonderful person who once walked on this planet.
It's with a wee bit of shame that I post this. There are definitely some titles on here that I think folks will consider must-see. I can handle the shame because part of my inspiration for putting this post together is so that I have a reminder to look into these must-sees. I used both IMDB and Wikipedia to make this lists so if there are incorrect years and non-horror movies on here, that's their problem! This isn't a complete list of horror films from these years by any means and you may notice a lack of Bollywood, Hong Kong, and some other countries' horror output missing from this list. I love horror films from all over the world but there's no way that I could have been 100% completist with this post.
I also cut a whole mess of titles that were just insanely obscure. I normally love the insanely obscure but once I hit 1988, I had to reel it in somehow. Thanks to the VHS boom, horror movies grew exponentially every frickin' year from 1980 to 1989. They exploded so much that I almost gave up when I got to the latter half of the 80s. Hopefully, there aren't too many egregious omissions on my part. Help me track those hard-to-find obscurities down in the comments, dear reader! Researching this list has been richly rewarding. Have I seen it all? Oh dear God no. I have a lot of homework to do. So anyway, here are the films from each year of the 1980s that I haven't seen... yet!
1980:
The Alien Dead
Alien 2: On Earth
The Attic
Beyond Evil
Cardiac Arrest
The Children
The Curse of King Tut’s Tomb
Demented
Devil Hunter
Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype
Don’t Answer the Phone
Effects
Fade to Black
The Godsend
The Haunting of M.
Island Claws
Last Rites
Mama Dracula
Mondo Cannibale
Monstroid
Mother’s Day
Night of Death
Nightmares
Patrick Still Lives
Phobia
Schizoid
Sex and Black Magic
Shadows of the Mind
Terror on Tour
The Unseen
1981:
Alison’s Birthday
The Appointment
Bewitched
Dawn of the Mummy
Deadly Blessing
Demonoid
Fear No Evil
Frankenstein Island
Ghostkeeper
Home Sweet Home
The Intruder Within
Jaws of Satan
Kiss Daddy Goodbye
The Last Shark
The Monster Club
The Nesting
Night of Horror
Night of the Zombies
Nightmares in a Damaged Brain
The Other Hell
The Pit
Sannata
Scared to Death
Scream
Suddenly in the Dark
Tattoo
Venom
1982:
The Black Room
Blood Song
Blood Tide
Burned at the Stake
Class Reunion
Curse of the Cannibal Confederates
Dark Sanity
Deadly Games
Death Screams
Death Valley
Double Exposure
Forbidden World
The Forest
The Ghost Dance
Honeymoon Horror
Island of Blood
Mansion of the Living Dead
Murder by Phone
Night Warning
Nightbeast
Parasite
Runaway Nightmare
Satan’s Baby Doll
Satan’s Mistress
The Scorpion with Two Tails
Sobrenatural
A Stranger is Watching
Time Walker
Wacko
1983:
The Alchemist
American Nightmare
Angst
The Being
The Demons of Ludlow
Devil Fetus
The Demon Murder Case
The Devonsville Terror
Dogs of Hell
Extra Terrestrial Visitors
The Final Terror
The Forest
Frightmare
Grizzly II: The Concert
House of the Long Shadows
Julie Darling
Mad Mutilator
Mausoleum
Microwave Massacre
A Night to Dismember
Scalps
Screamtime
Sledgehammer
Spasms
Suffer Little Children
1984:
Blind Date
Bloodsuckers from Outer Space
Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
Carnage
Deadline
Devil Fish
Disconnected
The Dungeonmaster
Fatal Games
Innocent Prey
The Jar
Mr. Wrong
Poison for the Fairies
The Power
The Sea Serpent
Shadows Run Black
Silent Madness
Sleepwalker
Special Effects
Strangler vs. Strangler
Tales of the Third Dimension
Wild Beasts
1985:
Appointment With Fear
Attack of the Beast Creatures
Bits and Pieces
Bloodstream
Chiller
The Dark Power
Devil Story
Evils of the Night
Fright Show
Future-Kill
Hard Rock Zombies
Junior
Murderlust
Psycho Girls
Saamri
The Sea Serpent
The Strangeness
They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore
Zuma
1986:
The Abomination
Alone Against the Dark
Bodycount
Beaks: The Movie
Dark Age
Death Powder
Dreamaniac
Escapes
Evil in the Woods
Fair Game
Gore-met, Zombie Chef from Hell
Hunter’s Blood
In a Glass Cage
Las Vegas Serial Killer
Lucker the Necrophagous
Monster in the Closet
Mutilations
Night of Terror
The Night Stalker
Nomads
Ozone: The Attack of the Redneck Mutants
Raiders of the Living Dead
Spookies
Star Crystal
The Tomb
Twisted
Vicious Lips
The Vindicator
The Wraith
1987:
Anguish
Backwoods
Bay Coven
Beaks: The Movie
Berserker
Beyond the 7th Door
Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire
Blood Frenzy
Blood Harvest
Blood Lake
Bloody Wednesday
Born of Fire
Cannibal Hookers
Chillers
Criminally Insane 2
Cross of the Seven Jewels
Dak Bangla
Dark Age
Deadly Love
Don’t Panic
Demon of Paradise
Deranged
Doom Asylum
Epidemic
Epitaph
Fatal Pulse
Frenchman’s Farm
From a Whisper to a Scream
Ghost Riders
Goodnight, God Bless
Graveyard Disturbance
Graveyard Shift
Hell High
Howling III: The Marsupials
Howl of the Devil
I Was a Teenage Zombie
It's Alive III: Island of the Alive
The Magic Toyshop
Maniac Killer
Mindkiller
Monstrosity
Necropolis
Night Vision
Nightflyers
The Offspring
Open House
Plutonium Baby
Psychos in Love
Reflections
Rest in Pieces
Retribution
Scared Stiff
Scared Stiff (HK)
Scorched Heat
7 Saal Baad
Shallow Grave
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
Specters
Street Trash
Stripped to Kill
Terror on Alcatraz
The Tomb
Twisted Nightmare
White of the Eye
Zombie High
1988:
Beyond Dream's Door
Black Roses
Blood Delirium
Blood Relations
The Brain
Brain Damage
The Carpenter
The Carrier
Catacombs
Celia
Cellar Dweller
Chillers
Curse II: The Bite
Dead Mate
Deadly Intrudger
Death by Dialogue
Demon Warrior
Demonwarp
Dial: Help
The Discarnates
Dr. Hackenstein
Dracula's Widow
Dream Demon
Edge of the Axe
Flesh Eater
Flesh-Eating Mothers
Ghost Town
The Ghosts of Sodom
Hard Rock Nightmare
Headhunter
The Heart of Midnight
Hobgoblins
Hollow Gate
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
Howling IV: The Original Nightmare
Judgement Day
The Kiss
Kuutamosonaatti
Lone Wolf
Midnight Movie Massacre
Nightmare Sisters
Not of This Earth
Out of the Dark
Phantom Brother
Pin
The Prince of Terror
Prison
Pulse Pounders
Rabid Grannies
Ratman
Rejuvenatrix
Rush Week
Saturday the 14th Strikes Back
Spellbinder
The Stay Awake
Stones of Death
Teen Vamp
The Thirteenth Floor
To Die For
Transformations
The Undertaker
The Unholy
Unmasked Part 25
Vacaciones de terror
Vampire in Venice
The Visitors
Witchcraft
1989:
After Midnight
Alien From the Deep
Alien Space Avenger
Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes
Anak ng demonyo
The Basement
Baxter
Beasties
Beverly Hills Vamp
Black Past
Black Rainbow
Blood Nasty
Bloody Psycho
The Cellar
The Chilling
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
Dance of the Damned
Dark Heritage
Dark Tower
Darkroom
Dead Dudes in the House
Death Doll
Death Spa
Dinner With a Vampire
Doomed Megalopolis
Family Reunion
Fatal Exposure
The Forgotten One
Freakshow
Game Over
Grave Secrets
Heartstopper
Hellgate
Hell's Trap
High Desert Kill
The House of Usher
Howling V: The Rebirth
I, Madman
The Jitters
Killer Crocodile
Las Vegas Bloodbath
Laurin
Lisa
Lobster Man from Mars
Luna di sangue
Mangetsu no Kuchizuke
Masque of the Red Death
Massacre
Maya
Monster High
Moonstalker
Moontrap
Mutator
My Mom's a Werewolf
Nick Knight
Night Visitor
Nightwish
Offerings
Out of the Body
Paint it Black
Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge
The Phantom of the Opera
Playroom
Psycho Cop
Purani Haveli
Redneck Zombies
Return of the Family Man
Shocking Dark
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator
Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat
Superstition 2
Surgikill
Terror Eyes
Things
Der Todesking
The Urge to Kill
The Vineyard
Violent Shit
Witchtrap
The Worst Witch
Halloween
Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie)
Slumber Party Massacre
Trick or Treats
Hocus Pocus
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Paul Lynde Halloween Special
Trick R Treat
Sleepy Hollow
Ginger Snaps
Idle Hands
Arsenic & Old Lace
May
Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead (Remake)
The Addams Family
Bewitched
Corpse Bride
Halloweentown
Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge
Lawrence Welk Halloween Episode 1978
Garfield’s Halloween Adventure
The Halloween Tree
Once Bitten
The Innkeepers
House of the Devil
Halloween is Grinch Night
Witch’s Night Out
Mad Monster Party
Spookiest Halloween Episodes DVD
Halloweentown High
Scary Godmother
Scary Godmother: The Revenge of Jimmy
Haunted History of Halloween
Simpsons Treehouse of Horror (Various)
Mad Mad Monsters
The Howling
The Fog
Practical Magic
Beetlejuice
Teen Witch
Hack-O-Lantern
Cemetery of Terror
Angry Beavers Halloween
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House
Return to Halloweentown
Hellboy
Martha’s Halloween Special
Witches
Cursed
Poirot Halloween Episode
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Animated Legend of Sleepy Hollow
The Crow
Dracula 2000
Trick or Techrat (Jem)
Cowboy Bebop
Dylan Dog
Cemetery Man
Lost Boys
Elvira Mistress of the Dark
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Blade
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Halloween 6
The Bride of Frankenstein
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Freaky Farley
The Brides of Dracula
I thought I would plagiarize myself for some November content. Over at Facebook, I did that 30 Day Movie Challenge dealie and here's what I came up with.
Day 1: Favorite film - House by the Cemetery
Day 2: Least favorite film - Clifford
Day 3: Favorite comedy - The God of Cookery
Day 4: Favorite drama - Rumble Fish
Day 5: Favorite action- Meals on Wheels
Day 6: Favorite horror - Evil Dead
Day 7: Favorite animated feature - Uruesai Yatsura 2
Day 8: Favorite thriller - Kiss Me Deadly
Day 9: Favorite musical - Top Hat
Day 10: Favorite foreign film - Cemetery Man AKA Dellamorte Dellamore
Day 11: Favorite kid's movie - My Neighbor Totoro
Day 12: Favorite love story - The Awful Truth
Day 13: Favorite chick flick - Sense and Sensibility
Day 14: Favorite documentary - Cocaine Cowboys
Day 15: Favorite play adaptation - Arsenic and Old Lace
Day 16: Favorite book adaptation - Steppenwolf
Day 17: Least favorite book adaptation - Tropic of Cancer
Day 18: Film that is your guilty pleasure - Freddy Got Fingered
Day 19: Film that made you cry the hardest - Breaking the Waves
Day 20: Movie with your favorite actress - Red Hot And Blue
Day 21: Movie with your favorite actor - Last Tango in Paris
Day 22: Movie you wish you could live in - Tricky Brains
Day 23: Movie that inspires you - A Thousand Clowns
Day 24: Movie with your favorite soundtrack - Profondo Rosso
Day 25: Movie with the most beautiful scenery - Dark City
Day 26: Movie you're most embarrassed to say you like - Ernest Goes to Jail
Day 27: Movie with your favorite villain - Zorro The Gay Blade
Day 28: Movie with your favorite hero - Sabata
Day 29: First movie you ever remember watching - Popeye
Day 30: Last movie you watched - More Brains! A Return To The Living Dead
I stole this idea from Death Rattle and WWQTW and modified it slightly. List every year that you've been on this planet and pick your favorite horror film from that year. It seems pretty simple, right? Oh shit. The friggin' 90s are gonna suck. Hmmm... I sure wish I could do this off the top of my head. I wonder if there's some kind of a tool I could use? How about this! If I've actually reviewed something in here, them shits is linked.
One more thing, I swear I am not trying to be eclectic and intentionally obscure with my choices. I chose the film that I currently love the most and/or the one I want to watch the most right now. This is not a list that caters to the films I've seen the most times or to just the ones I've reviewed. Does that make sense? Anyway, here I go.
Damn, this was rather painful. So many runners-up! I could make ten more lists like this just on the ones that didn't make the cut. And the 90s were easier than I thought. The millennium was actually the most work. My choices from 2010 and 2011 (especially since I haven't seen jack squat as far as newness goes so far this year) are subject to change but I gotta hand it to Wes Craven. The guy made me very happy two years in a row.
I’m always hesitant to do top 5 or top 10 or top 31.14 lists because for one thing, it’s going to be slightly different a month (or less) from now anyway because I’m a fickle beyatch. And for another thing, as I start putting a list together, I immediately start concocting subgenre lists. It’s a pretty nerve-racking process to stay within the confines of the “favorite”, the “top #”, and whatever genre or subgenre I’m talking about. I also feel that if you guys see my pathetic list, you’ll laugh, guffaw, or snicker and then never come back. Please baby please, don’t burn my blog down to the ground!
All of the following films improve (at least in my eyes) with multiple viewings. I can pretty much put any of these on at any time and be completely content. Even if their logic fails under a scrutinizing eye, their entertainment value rarely wavers. I can watch these movies in a room full of haters and come away blissfully unscathed. This is a top 10 list of movies that are very important to me. This list is subject to change and whimsy. In some cases, I have already written about these films in other places on the site or on the blog so links have been provided. Anyway, I hope you dig it.
# 10 – Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
Is this list set on reverse? How come this isn’t number freakin’ one, dawg? I first heard about Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama on the “This is Horror” series back in the late 80s. Unable to remember the ridiculously long title and having never stumbled across the VHS back in the day, it was many years before SOBASLIBABO finally entered my life on a budget DVD. All I really could remember from the clips was that some hot babes with bad attitudes where kicking each other’s asses. Granted, there is some hot babeness and some ass kickery but this flick is so much more than that.
I knew of Linnea Quigley from Night of the Demons and Return of the Living Dead but it’s in this film that she really captured my heart. Her character, Spider, is the woman of my dreams. No, not those dreams. The other ones, dang it. She could make a zero into a hero and that’s just what she does. I’m not talking about the movie either. I’m talking about myself. I’ve shown this film to many people and they all have groaned and asked me foolish questions like “Why?” and “Do you actually think this is a good movie?” My answer to both questions is always the same: “Because.” I guess that doesn’t really answer both questions but seriously SOBABLIBABO is quite the broken 80s masterpiece.
Zeder is and forever shall be. When I was a kid, I first saw this film under its Revenge of the Dead title and very misleading cover art. The VHS artwork for Zeder is more appropriate for one of the Return of the Living Dead films. It promised me rotting zombies bursting out of the sewers. Yeah, that don’t happen, duder. Zeder is so fucking weird that I can’t help but admire the distributors for their blatant lie. It made me rent the movie. And in the end, I was more perplexed and intrigued than disappointed.
I am pretty fascinated by Italian horror movies (no way, are you for reals?) and oddities like Zeder just knock me out. This film is tense, strange, brutally violent, and subtly terrifying. Its darkness will remain with you for days, months, and years. My heart is racing just thinking about it. Okay, maybe I need to see a doctor about that. Pushing these keys is awfully strenuous. Much like director Pupi Avati’s giallo masterpiece, The House with the Laughing Windows, I will defend Zeder against any negative criticism from any disappointed viewer. Hopefully, I won’t come off as a condescending douchebag. Oops, too late. Renting this film in my youth was very important. It is one of the reasons that I am as insane about horror movies as I am today.
Out of all of the films in Mario Bava’s spectacular body of work, Lisa and the Devil just gets to me. It’s super-dreamy and perfectly morbid. I’ve still never seen the abominable thing it became, The House of Exorcism, in its entirety. I guess one day I’ll have to suck it up and actually watch the Exorcist rip-off in all of its glory. Satan knows, I loves me an Exorcist clone. If you don’t know the story, the film premiered as Lisa and the Devil for limited audiences. The studio panicked because let’s face it, Bava made a crazy friggin’ movie. So the film got shelved and a few years later, the studio asked for some exorcism scenes which Bava reluctantly agreed to film. And thus, House of Exorcism was born and its very existence just ticks me off.
Beautiful ladies in tha house. Elke Sommer and Sylva Koscina compete for the most beautiful woman in this film and I don’t know who wins. I just don’t know. Of course, I’m avoiding the big issue here: Telly frickin’ Savalas! The guy is in this film all pre-Kojak and shit and just steals every single scene that he’s in. There’s so much delirium and artful wackiness going on that Lisa and the Devil gets better with every viewing. Now it is dreamlike and a bit sleepy so don’t get all pissy with me if you think it’s “boring” or whatever. All I’m saying is if you love Italian horror (or you’re just curious) and you haven’t already seen this film then you need to ASAP.
Lisa and the Devil was the final film I watched during BAVADOOM.
# 7 – Horror Rises from the Tomb
When Paul Naschy died last year, I didn’t want to say anything for fear of sounding trite and silly. This is going to sound stupid but I felt pretty fucked up about it. For some reason, it felt like a real heroic duder was gone too soon. And it seemed like he was finally getting the recognition he deserved too, at least here in the States. When I was a kid going through VHS in the stores, his name never came up. In fact, it wasn’t until I happened upon Anchor Bay’s DVD of Werewolf Shadow that I’d even heard of the guy. The more I pursued his films, the more friggin’ amazing shit I found. Okay, so Crimson was fucking wretched but damn y’all, Naschy made so many great movies.
There’s more about my undying and unholy love for this film right here.
# 6 – Re-Animator
While Hellraiser and its first sequel were instrumental in turning me into a gorehound, I have to say that Re-Animator charms its way onto my top 10 list for a number of reasons. As far as films that push the boundaries of bad taste, well you don’t have to look much farther than this flick right here. I also admire this film for creeping me out more each time I watch it. Those that are re-animated by Dr. Herbert West’s serum are more disturbing to me than the undead of your average zombie movie. They are unpredictable, angry, and really fucking strong. I know I complain about fast-moving zombies in other horror films but these creatures are powered by Lovecraftian molecules so it makes more sense!
Oh yeah. This movie is friggin’ gross. If you want to get desensitized to gore real quick, pop this little number into your DVD player, duder. You’ll have the intestinal fortitude of an ER nurse in no time. I appreciate the rotten and irreverent mood of Re-Animator. The images playing about before me reek of formaldehyde and drying blood. This film introduced me to both its star Jeffrey Combs and its director Stuart Gordon and I’ve never been the same since. As I mentioned a moment ago, any film that gets scarier with repeat viewings is pretty bad ass. Somehow watching this movie as a kid was less frightening than it is to watch as an adult. For instance, the original Nightmare on Elm Street was a walk in the park when I was 9 but was somehow it became more terrifying at age 14. Go figure. Re-Animator is sitting on my DVD shelf right now, taunting me: "Scaredy cat! Scaredy cat! You are a scaredy cat! FLYING INTESTINES GOOOOOOOOOO!"
# 5 – Slumber Party Massacre
I love slasher movies. I really, really love slasher movies. And Slumber Party Massacre slays me so completely that no other slasher films make my top 10 list. I have totally adored this movie upon my first viewing when I bought it unseen from Suncoast Video for $5.99 or something back in 2003. I’m not sure how it happened but this silly and fun film became essential viewing for my wife and me every Halloween. This film has nothing to do with the holiday whatsoever but damn it all, that is what we do every Halloween no matter what.
Slumber Party Massacre is a very weak attempt (like a joke really) to subvert the charge that slasher movies are sexist. So the producers get an all female writing and directing team together and they try to make a feminist slasher movie. Do they succeed? Well, it’s either a massive success or a miserable failure. Sure, all of the male characters are total putzes but the gratuitous nude scenes (female only) make me think that the dudes win in the end. This is one of those rare body count movies where I like all of the characters. Everyone in this movie is essential. The bratty sister, the wise black chick, the chick whose dead body gets stuffed in the refrigerator, the mopey main chick, and of course, the power-drill wielding killer are all integral to one’s enjoyment of Slumber Party Massacre. Watch this with lots of friends and drinks. You will not be disappointed.
# 4 – Masque of the Red Death
If it weren’t for Masque of the Red Death, it would have been years before I ever gave old horror movies a chance. In case you haven’t noticed from my choice of movies that I ramble about on this blog, I’m kind of an ass when it comes to movies older than 1960. Don’t ask me why but I actually need to be constantly reminded that there have been great horror movies around since movies have existed. This started when I was kid. Somehow this stigma that anything older than brand new was bad. But then again, I had no concept of how old things were. I mean I thought that color like as in all colors that human beings can see were invented in the 1960s. How did I get on this topic? Now granted, Masque came out in 1964, but it was one of the first horror movies I saw that just happened to be released before I was born that had an impact on me. I would seek out films like the original Frankenstein, Dracula, and Creature from the Black Lagoon a little bit later because it dawned on me that old films are cool too. Do you see how dumb I was (am)?
What struck me immediately is the pure unadulterated horror packed into this film. Suddenly, I was scared of catching the plague but I was more afraid of my fellow human beings. There are some real pieces of work in this flick. They’re greedy, perverse, self-centered, and cruel. But the real master of evil is Prince Prospero, played by Vincent Price. His cold black heart is a bottomless pit of nastiness and when death comes to collect, he is a sniveling swine. This is the film that introduced me to Vincent Price and I continue to worship at the horrifying altar of this man.
# 3 – Phenomena
Oh shit. How did this slip away from the top spot? For years and years, whenever anyone would ask me what my favorite horror movie of all time was, the answer was easy: Dario Argento’s Phenomena. I always say “Dario Argento’s Phenomena” because if I just say “Phenomena” non-horror movie people go “You mean that movie with John Travolta? That’s not a horror movie, is it?” No, it’s not but I’m sure it is horrifying in its own way. Its number one title slipped away this year when I watched this and my new number one fave back to back. And sadly, it dropped not one but two spots from the top. Sorrio Dario!
But when it comes to pleasing a bunch of restless friends who want to be wowed by a horror movie, Phenomena does not fail. I played this for a group of people after their dismal reaction to Twitch of the Death Nerve (don’t worry, I don’t talk to any of those motherfuckers anymore) and everyone was totally blown away by Dario Argento’s freaky mix of maggots, monkeys, and heavy metal. This was one of the very first Italian horror films I ever watched (back before I even knew that Italians made movies) and it will always be hovering near the number one spot in my heart. Anyone who says they don’t love Phenomena is lying.
If not for Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, I probably would still not have seen this fantastic and utterly essential horror film. I think I was 12 years old when I saw clips of Evil Dead 2 on that “This is Horror” show (I really need to get a copy of this) and I was determined to watch it. When I found the film in the video store, I decided to watch the first movie because I assumed (wrongly) that I needed to watch the first Evil Dead to understand what was going on in the second one. So that weekend, I rented both films. I pulled the shades in my room and watched The Evil Dead for the first time. Man, I couldn’t wait for it to be over! It wasn’t funny at all and it was just kind of boring. Thankfully, when I put Evil Dead 2 in I was rewarded with a spastic film loaded with slapstick humor that even has a Holy Grail type ending. Bonus!
Yeah, I’m a little ashamed of my initial reaction to The Evil Dead. After renting and renting part 2 over and over again, I eventually got tired of it. Years later, I bought the Elite DVD (I’m not even sure which edition I have) of The Evil Dead and watched it again. Like, really watched it and now I think it’s the best independent American horror film ever made. The film has this unpredictable and completely bent vibe to it. And it’s charming! It has this held-together-with-spit feeling to it and everything works. The Evil Dead has a big heart. It wants to be loved because the people who made it really, really cared about what they’re doing. I’ve read about how miserable the production of this film was and how difficult of a time the filmmakers had acquiring funds to complete the project and it makes me feel like I’m a weak loser who has never done anything with his life. Shut up. Not you, I was talking to me. I will say more about this another time.
# 1 – The House by the Cemetery
There had to be a number one. It’s a top 10 list, people are gonna expect it. I bought both The Beyond (as Seven Doors of Death) and The House by the Cemetery on those el cheapo Diamond DVDs back in 2003. They were both like $7 apiece or something like that and I watched both of them that same weekend. Needless to say, I was changed forever. I had seen Fulci’s Zombie the year before on VHS and it left me in a little depressed (in a good way) puddle on the floor. But nothing could prepare me for the surreal assault of these two films. The Beyond seems like it’s the weirder movie because it’s bigger, louder, and has more characters doing totally inexplicable shit. However, the more I dig into The House by the Cemetery, the more I realize that it is just as bizarre as its zombie infested cousin.
How can a film produce in a person’s heart a feeling of retroactive nostalgia? I can’t look back on the good old days of watching this movie when I was 10 years old because I didn’t see it until I was 27. And yet, with every viewing, I get the sense that I’m returning to a beloved film from my youth. How the shit does that work? I don’t want anyone to watch The House by the Cemetery thinking either a) “Here’s another overrated Fulci movie” or b) “Some blowtard on a blog said that this is the greatest horror movie ever made like ever”. You have to be patient with this one. You have to be patient with all Fulci films. Did I love The Beyond or House by the Cemetery when I first watched them? No! I thought they were dumb but I liked the gory bits. But then it was too late for me. I couldn’t get them out of my head. I’m like that redhead kid in the “Forever Young” video but Rod Stewart ripped off my arm and is using it to hold his victims still so that he can use their cells to restore his own deteriorating undead carcass.
Well, holy hot damn, y'all. Color me gore-soaked! It is September 30th, the last day of Asian horror month here at Cinema Somnambulist. 30 days are NOT ENOUGH to cover all of the splendors of the eastern world, let me tell you. The best thing about this month was getting to all those unseen titles that I have been putting off for one reason or another. The other best thing is the weirdness is settling in. I have just been just a little off since the first week of The INVASIAN. I feel strange and that is very good. For some reason, I’ve been having more vivid dreams this month as well as some totally insane nightmares. I have no choice but to blame my cinematic diet this month (or those York Peppermint Pieces).
So yeah, ANYWAY, I was inspired by Aaron's (of The Death Rattle) rad post of his top 5 Asian horror films to make my own list. Copy cat! I'm going to go for 10 because it is impossible for me to narrow it down to just 5 titles.
#10 The Stewardess
This comedy horror film about a lecherous moron who cheats on his flight attendant girlfriend with another (hotter) flight attendant who turns out to be a murderous psychopath is a dang riot. The film has a little gore but the scenes are so cheap, that it feels almost blood free. What’s more important is the quirky vibe this one has. Its broad slapstick will appeal to just about anyone and it’s political incorrectness will please anyone who is even remotely aware of the racial tensions between China and Japan. Add in a gang of moronic Triads, a lot of slow motion, and comedic actor Sam Lee (of Biozombie), and you’ve got yourself a party. The Stewardess is oh so wrong and it’s all oh so right.
In a genre flooded with generic bullshit and tired, formulaic plots, a film comes along that stays well within the acceptable plot constraints of what Asian horror came to be known for in the millennium –long haired ghosts with greenish skin and impossibe body contortions – but what it does with those same elements feels very different. What makes The Red Shoes special is that it takes the cursed item bit that Ringu, One Missed Call, Ju-on, and countless other films have done and runs it through an overdrive pedal and a Marshall stack. Everything about The Red Shoes is amped the fuck up. When you think you’ve seen it all, turn this movie up really loud one night and see if you see what I’m talking about. While it ain't exactly original, I have to give props to The Red Shoes for trying too hard and succeeding.
#08 Pulse AKA Kairo
I’ll never forget getting my cheapo copy of Kairo on VCD from eBay and watching it alone one night. I looked down and my pants were gone. They had been scared off of me and haven’t returned since. And that was my last pair of pants. Some people have told me they don’t think this movie is scary or they don’t get it. If this movie doesn’t get to you, even just a little bit, I don’t know what to tell you. What I love about Kairo is that it has one of the most important things that continues to scare me to this day: the thing that should not be. A character turns around and sees something impossible. It doesn’t jump at the screen and it doesn’t require a blast of nu-metal or some hyper editing to get your attention. The thing that should not be is there and it is not in a hurry to get you. It slowly makes its way across the room because it knows that it’s too late. You’re done for.
#07 The Heroic Trio
The Heroic Trio seems like more of an action flick but trust me, the horror elements are there. I have no idea where director Johnny To was going with this one but I’m glad he went there (wherever that is). Three lovely heroes played by Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung, and Anita Mui are trying to stop a supernatural force from sacrificing babies (one of which will grow up to be the next emperor). This movie is just so bizarre and so unlike anything I’d ever seen before that it forced my mind to open up to all the freaky deaky that is Hong Kong cinema. Also, The Heoric Trio is so melodramatic that its syrupiness has its own atomic number (I don’t think I know what atomic numbers are.) and it has many, many plot threads going on at once. The breakneck pace guarantees a second or third viewing to catch all of the insanity. Highly, highly recommended.
#06 One Missed Call
Leave it to Takashi Miike (Japan’s gift to the world of extreme cinema) to make one of the best films of the “cursed item” genre. This time, it’s a phone call that you DO NOT want to receive. One Missed Call is a very interesting flick. It shows us an ultra modern world where everything seems safe and normal but lurking just around the corner are ghosts, especially angry ghosts, who still inhabit that world. Oh and these ghosts will fucking kill you. Themes of child abuse, neglect, and an ending that will definitely leave you scratching your head (even if it is twisted around backwards) are all contained in this excellent film that gets better with every viewing.
#05 Suicide Club AKA Suicide Circle
The only thing keeping this film so low on the list is its ending. What can I say? Suicide Club has a confounding and artsy ending that defies expectations (which is good) and doesn’t really deliver what the rest of the film has been building up to (which is less good). Enough whining! What you need to know about this movie is that when I watched it, I felt as though Asian horror had suddenly changed forever. It felt like horror movies were important again. Some folks tried to tell me that Battle Royale gave them the same feeling but for my money, this delirious bloodbath got under my flayed skin and stayed there.
(Had to do a screenshot. This movie has the worst poster/DVD art ever.)
#04 Mr. Vampire
I can’t believe I’m doing this. Somehow, Spooky Encounters starring the amazing Sammo Hung got knocked off this list by Mr. Vampire. I felt like I had to choose one kung-fu horror flick so I went with this one. If I made this list tomorrow, I’d probably do the opposite. There’s just something magical about Mr. Vampire. It makes me laugh really hard every time I watch it and there’s a lot to love about this splendorous film. Despite some its cheap make-up and cheesy effects, this kung-fu horror comedy flick is a classic thanks to its bevy of amazing stunts, big laughs, and a final showdown of epic proportions. Mr. Vampire is followed by an army of dry sequels and unworthy imitators. I can't really recommend any of the ones I've seen.
#03 Tomie: Replay
There are a whole bunch of Tomie movies. In fact, I just heard that the ninth in the series is being filmed right now. Tomie: Replay is not the best one. However, it is my favorite one. If you’ve never seen a Tomie film, don’t start with this one. I just really love the hospital setting and the sheer insanity of this flick. While Takashi Shimizu’s Tomie: Re-birth is the best of the series, Tomie: Replay wins my heart because it feels like a bad dream from start to finish. If you’re looking for something with a freaky mood, an unpredictable storyline, and horrific imagery, then check this out.
Ichi the Killer is one of the sickest films ever made but under the gore and the weirdness, there is a great deal of thought and imagination behind it all. Take a typical yakuza film plot and throw in hypnotism (I can’t stress how important this ingredient is), psychosexual trauma, sadomasochism, and enough blood to flood a small city, and you’ve got this film. The first time I saw Takashi Miike’s splatter classic, I was sick with the flu. Some friends stopped by and one of them was repulsed by what I was watching. He asked me to please turn the movie off. Through my feverish haze, I smiled at him and said, “No.” My friends left soon after that and I was left alone in my happy stupor. For gorehounds, Ichi the Killer is totally essential because it’s funny, disgusting, deeply sad, and smart.
#01 House AKA Hausu
I was in a rut. I wasn’t in one of those moods where I felt like I’d seen everything good there was to see (I’m not that stupid). No, I felt like all the movies I wanted to see were just beyond my grasp. It was either shell out $20 or more for bootlegs or just forget it. Then I was checking IFC’s schedule as I usually did every week to see if there was anything I wanted to record. And there it was: House. Not that friggin’ limping doctor show! House from 1977, a movie I had been reading about for years but had never been able to track down. And IF-fuckin’-C was just playing it out of the blue. I freaked out. I set my DVD recorder to record this fine flick and then told anyone who would listen to be sure NOT to miss this movie.
A few days later, the alarm went off and jumped out of bed to finalize the DVD-R of House. Sure enough, it was there. Work that day was agony. All I wanted to do was go home and watch the movie. When I finally did get home that afternoon, my wife and I sat down to watch what has become my favorite Asian horror film of all time. I lost track of how many times I had to push my eyes back into my dang head during this trippy, dreamy, riotous, and inexplicably wonderful masterpiece of weirdness. The Criterion DVD comes out this October. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it. Buy it.
A Tale of Two Sisters
A Chinese Ghost Story
Eko Eko Azarak: Wizard of Darkness
Witch Board Bunshinsaba
Mermaid in a Manhole
Sick Nurses
Kuroneko
Audition
Dark Water
Matango
Lao Mao AKA The Cat
Good morning, everybody. Today, Aaron of The Death Rattle and The Gentlemen's Blog to Midnite Cinema is here with his top 5 favorite Asian horror films. Aaron is a rad and bad dude. I strongly suggest that you think about him the next time you're at the ATM withdrawing some cash!
#5 AUDITION (1999; Japan; directed by Takashi Miike)
In Takashi Miike's AUDITION, a single father, Shigeharu Aoyama, has a friend of his who produces films set up a mock audition which, unbeknownst to the actresses who are trying out for a role that doesn't exist, will allow Shigeharu to scope out a potential wife. Through the audition, he meets a reserved young woman named Asami Yamazaki, and the two develop somewhat of a romantic relationship. It's eventually revealed, however, that Asami isn't exactly who she seems to be, and Shigeharu learns this the hard way.
AUDITION is a strange film in that it's basically a quirky love story that turns into a horrific WTF-fest about two-thirds of the way in. Sure, it takes a really long time to get to the "good parts" (which is why it barely made my list), but the good parts alone make this one of my favorite Asian horror movies. It also holds a special place in my heart as being the first ever Takashi Miike movie that I've ever seen, and it was also my gateway film to the wonderful but mostly frustrating world of Asian horror.
#4 HAUSU (1977; Japan; directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi)
A teenage girl invites her friends along to her estranged aunt's house for the summer. But when they arrive and gradually notice a series of strange events occurring, they learn that wheelchair-bound aunt is in fact a demon who eats little girls and the home that they're staying in is possessed. HAUSU is an absolutely bonkers horror-comedy with elements of experimental film-making. It's also directed by the same guy who did the Charles Bronson "Mandom" commercials, and the unusual, glossy style of those commercials definitely carries over into the film. People (myself included) often throw around the phrase "you'll never see anything like it" when describing films, and trust me when I say that you will never EVER see anything like HAUSU. From beginning to end, it's an unrelenting display of one bizarre scene after another. HAUSU has recently been given the Criterion treatment, and I strongly urge everyone to check it out once it's available.
#3 SUICIDE CLUB (2002; Japan; directed by Sion Sono)
In SUICIDE CLUB, Japan is plagued by a series of unexplained mass suicides. As police investigate and eventually team up with a computer hacker who may hold clues as to the reasoning behind the mass suicides, a number of bizarre revelations are made as far as how the suicides are connected and are seemingly contagious. A number of phone calls to a detective by an unknown male who repeatedly clears his throat before speaking; an all-girl bubblegum pop band; a cryptic website that features red and white dots instead of text; a stitched-together roll of human skin - all of these things may or may not be connected to the suicides, and that's really all I can say without spoiling anything for anyone who has yet to see this gruesome, fascinating, and just plain WEIRD film. I wouldn't go so far as to call this movie "disturbing", but it's one that definitely sticks with you once you watch it, mainly because of how strange it is.
#2 ONIBABA (1964; Japan; directed by Kaneto Shindo)
A mother and her daughter-in-law support themselves by killing lost samurai and selling their armor and weapons. Eventually, a man, who claims to be a fellow soldier along with the mother's son (and daughter-in-law's husband, obviously), comes into the picture and reveals that he has been killed in the war. The man slithers his way into their home and begins to have an affair with the supposedly widowed daughter-in-law. What ensues is a very twisted and sexual film that reeks of irony and takes somewhat of a supernatural turn towards the end of the film when the central characters, specifically the mother, are visited one night by a mysterious samurai who wears a demon mask.
You'll be very hard pressed to find an Asian horror movie as visually stunning as this expressionist-style film. Even by 1960's standards, it still manages to blow a lot of horror movies made today out of the water without the benefit of special effects. Relying purely on its haunting atmosphere, amazing cinematography, and incredible score consisting mostly of Taiko drums, ONIBABA, in my opinion, is a masterpiece and undoubtedly one of my favorite Asian horror films. It's not a very accessible movie that will appeal to everyone, but those who can appreciate its style will most likely fall in love with it just as I did.
#1 A TALE OF TWO SISTERS (2003; South Korea; directed by Ji-Woon Kim)
Remade in America as THE UNINVITED (which actually wasn't that bad!), this South Korean psychological horror movie is about two sisters who are trying to adapt to living with their cruel step-mother, as well as get over the loss of their birth mother. One of the sisters has recently been seeing a psychiatrist and is taken out of that situation by her father due to some progress being made, as far as how her sessions have been going and whatnot. As the movie progresses, a series of shocking revelations are made in regards to the family, and quite possibly one of the greatest plot twists in the history of horror cinema is executed.
If you're reading this, chances are you've either seen A TALE OF TWO SISTERS or its American remake, and even if you haven't seen either, I'm sure at least one of your shit-head friends has spoiled the ending of the remake for you. But, if you haven't seen either film and are completely blind to what happens in both (they both feature the same twist), I can't recommend this movie highly enough. For the most part, South Korea never ceases to amaze me with the quality of their films, and, for what it's worth, this movie easily ranks as one of my top South Korean genre films PERIOD. A TALE OF TWO SISTERS is legitimately creepy at times, and I can count on one hand the amount of films to come out in the last decade that I can say that about. This is hands down my favorite Asian horror movie of all time
Hey gang. I've been kind of laying low lately but there's a good reason. I'm working on some fabulous junk for the blog and good old Doomed Moviethon. Until that stuff is ready, I've got some hotness to tide you over. Yours truly and a bunch of other bloggers who are way cooler than me contributed to Aaron's awesome Death Rattle blog. You see, Aaron has been rocking slasher movies ALL MONTH LONG and he invited some folks to come up with their essential flicks in various categories. I chose Foreign Slashers and you can check it out right here. So yeah, go over there and see how much I suck and how poor my taste in movies is. Hey, is this self deprecating shtick getting old or what?
Aaron over at The Death Rattle has been kind enough to let me sully his street cred once again. Some people never learn. And thus begins the countdown of our Top 5 Gialli.
