The Three Mother Trilogy In Podcast Form

We finally finished talking about Dario Argento's Suspiria, Inferno, and Mother of Tears on Hello! This is the Doomed Show. Special thanks to listener Glenn Del Rossi for encouraging us to take on this monumental task. Here are the episodes in the order that we talked about them! Of course, we did them out of order. Who wouldn't? I hope you enjoy these episodes because we put A LOT of work into them. We all need more moms.  

My Horror Shelfie 45 - From P2 to Phantom of the Paradise

Hello! This is the Doomed Show - Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

My Horror Shelfie 26 - My Giallo Collection Part 4

My Horror Shelfie 25 - My Giallo Collection Part 3

Once again I have talked to and with a camera.

My Horror Shelfie 24 - My Giallo Collection Part 2

 

My Horror Shelfie 23 - Giallo Collection Part 1

Howdy there. I got sort of smart and decided to jump the gun on discussing my entire giallo collection. Here's the first part of what will likely be a five part series. It is possible that I have many gialli on DVD and Blu-ray. I hope you have fun watching this. Stay tuned for more AKA please like and subscribe (yuck, who says that crap?)!

Wednesday Ramble: Revisiting The Vibe

 

I get The Vibe (AKA that Euro-horror vibe) a lot from Italian and Spanish horror where they frame the characters in certain ways or have this perfectly plain location that is rendered terrifying or haunting just by the way the filmmakers choose to light it. The composers have a lot to do with it as well. Morricone, Nicholai, Cipriani, Pisano, etc. Their music, especially the prettier melodies, juxtaposed with the promise of the upcoming horrors are also effective at giving me the same feeling.  Of course, huge credit goes to the writers and directors of these films because without their stories and direction, I'd never have discovered all of this dark joy.

I often struggle to describe the feeling I get from these films. But the Vibe-y sensation is a melancholic invigoration, a creepy floating sensation, or a caffeine rush of morbidity. It's definitely a sharpening of the senses with a big dash of euphoria thrown in. Usually, I find myself creepily smiling, cackling, or just tearing up when The Vibe hits me right. There aren't any specific films where The Vibe is throughout the whole movie. However, there are a few examples where large sections of the film do the trick though. The House by the Cemetery, Phenomena, Death Smiles at Murder, Anthropophagus, Lisa and the Devil, Vampyros Lesbos, and Horror Rises from the Tomb, just to name a few, are great providers of The Vibe.

I try not to repeat myself too much on this blog. Ha ha! Yeah, right! But I was having a convo with a friend about this subject and wanted to post the above paragraphs without looking at my original post on the subject from 11 years ago. So I guess this is kind of a mission statement for what I look for when I'm going into a film from this era/these countries. I will likely come back to this topic in another decade or so.

Two New Episodes

Hello! I've been a tad busy. Too busy for bloggin'? Lame! Well, it's true I'm a lame-o. Here are the two most recent episodes of the podcast, hope you like 'em!

First up, Brad and I talk about our favorite horror films from the 1960s AND we rank Roger Corman's Edgar Allan Poe films. That's the hotness.

In the newest episode, Jeffrey and I tackle one of the strangest Italian horror films ever made. What was Luigi Cozzi thinking? What was Dario Argento thinking? What was anyone thinking?

Check out the new 'sodes (that's short for episodes) RIGHT HERE.

Want more Brad? I know I do.

How about more Jeffrey? I'm into that too.

Top 10 Post-1974 Gialli

Even though the giallo genre continues, albeit very shakily, to this day, I've always felt that the boom was OVER by 1974. I'm not happy about that but I find the gialli post-boom era extremely interesting. Some territories must have been craving bloody mystery films or else these films would have stopped forever. Here's a list that I threw together because lists are the essence of blogging.

10. A Blade in the Dark (1982)

“This is all the whiskey that you possess?” is my favorite line from a giallo ever and that alone lands this film on my list, even if it is the last spot. Lamberto Bava (or “Lambava” as Brad and I call him) really nailed this claustrophobic, atmospheric, incredibly violent, and wacky film. The English dubbing is gloriously cheesy and all of the female characters are weirdos. The score by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis is ethereal and haunting. What keeps this film so low on my list here is that it is definitely a little too long at 109 minutes.

9. Trauma (1993)

Of course, I already know that I’m going to be putting too much of one director on this friggin’ list, I A lot of people dog this movie but I straight up love it. Argento’s second attempt at conquering the American market (the first being Two Evil Eyes) certainly worked on me as a teenage person. I found this film haunting and thoroughly strange and in some ways it still is. In other ways, it is insanely stupid and melodramatic to the point of hilariousness. The whole bit about anorexia will have you shaking your head at this film’s clumsy attempts at tackling a serious issue. I’m not sure if I can recommend this film to you unless you are 16 years old and me. You have to be me.

8. Trhauma (1980)

This is a strange, slasher-esque, and rather obscure one that Brad recommended to me and I was glad when I finally got around to it. This one really gets under your skin and features some excellent disco music and oddball characters. You will probably be scratching your head just like I was by the incredibly abrupt ending. At only 78 minutes, you can’t go wrong with a bunch of strange dudes and gorgeous actresses being stalked in a creepy old house. I can’t wait to re-watch Trhauma. Yep, that’s how they spell it.

7. The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

When it comes to baffling movies, you would be hard pressed to find one more outrageously bizarre than what I consider Argento’s last truly great film to date. I will never forget being totally floored and genuinely shocked by The Stendhal Syndrome when I first saw it many years ago. I went into it only having seen a couple of Argento’s films and oh man, I was totally unprepared for this insanity. An incredible score by Ennio Morricone coupled with intensely beautiful and wildly brutal visuals make for a wonderful mix. I suggest multiple viewings of this one.

6. Autopsy (1975)

Mindbendingly sleazy and obsessively morbid describe this piece of really well made trash. Mimsy Farmer, Ray Lovelock, and Barry Primus in a sicko love triangle that makes me want to wash my hands just from typing about it. Solar flares, mass suicides, dead bodies, an 8mm porn collection, a Death Museum, racecars, a pervert with a limp (a limp what?), pseudoscience, and undead hallucinations are just parts that make this a crazy whole bunch of crazy crazy CRAZY CRA- Sorry, must be those solar flares.

5. The Psychic (1977)

When it comes to Fulci’s masterpieces, this is Fulci’s masterpiece. As you probably have already suspected, I am a fan of Lucio Fulci and his gialli are very near and very dear to me. If you’ve only seen the director’s gorier efforts like The Beyond or City of the Living Dead, then you absolutely must behold this masterful giallo. This film is a death circle that just keeps going around and around and around and the music by Bixio/Frizzi/Tempera is some next level shit. You gotta get on this.

4. Murder Obsession AKA Murder Syndrome (1980)

Oh Riccardo Freda, you magical bastard! I didn’t even realize this was a giallo until my third viewing. There is so much gothic freakiness packed into this little gem that I was just bewildered. The more I watch Murder Obsession, the happier I become in my life. Anita Strindberg’s last movie? And it’s a doozy too. Fake bats, fake spiders, out-of-body experiences, a chainsaw, ghostly recordings, religious symbolism, Laura Gemser (not my cup of tea but you know, whatever), a Satanic cult, adultery, etc. Get off your ass right now and then go and sit on your ass and watch this movie.

3. Eyeball (1975)

When someone says to you, “What in the damn hell fuck is a giallo, anyway?” Show them this film. I can’t stress enough how important this film is for genre fans. If you only ever watch one giallo then make it this one. I’m serious. Umberto Lenzi made an entertaining, trashy (but not sleazy), and goofy movie that gets better with every viewing and is just fun to watch with giallo-newbs. I still prefer Seven Bloodstained Orchids but this is a very close second. Where the hell is the Blu-ray?

2. The House with Laughing Windows (1976)

Don’t even get me started with this one. If anyone talks any smack about Pupi Avati, I swear I will pull a knife and start some shit. When it comes to injecting some class into a classless genre, look no further than this film (or –sigh- Short Night of the Glass Dolls (if you insist)). The dread packed into every frame of this lush period piece never fails to have me on the edge of my seat. Art and the obsessive search for the truth aren’t just themes in this film, they are cosmic forces playing against the main character and it is a horrible joy to watch. Brilliant.

1. Tenebre (1982)

I’m kind of surprised to see this at the number one spot on my list. I’ve never cared for this movie. It is too sedate, too artless, too generic. Of course, I’m kidding. Argento got cold feet and decided to screw his fans out of a Three Mothers film (for 27 years) after Suspiria and Inferno by dropping this giallo bombshell on the world. If you wanted to say something to the effect of: the genre died here. Go on, you can say it. Argento straight up killed it to death with Tenebre. This film is truly deranged and over-the-top. Tenebre will trample you with style and leave you wanting more. I need to watch this again right now.

H!TITDS #56 - Argento's Animal Trilogy Part 1

We talk about The Bird with the Crystal Plumage and we talk about The Cat O' Nine Tails, directed by Dario Argento. Then the episode ends abruptly. What can I say? We were tired but the episode is pretty solid as we plow through our pages of notes. Our Four Flies on Grey Velvet episode is in the queue for upcoming shows so you'll just have to wait! Aw, don't cry.

Check out the episode.

Listen to our archived episodes.

My first impression of Dracula 3D

I finally decided to watch Dario Argento's Dracula 3D. Here are two lists I made while watching it; one for the good and one for the bad. Also, let it be known that the copy streaming on Netflix looks like utter shit. It is way, way too bright. I plan on buying the Blu-ray of this film for a proper look at it. But for now, here is my first impression of this huge flop of a movie.

The Good:

Asia Argento!
Thomas Kretschmann!
Rutger Hauer!
I really dig the score by Claudio Simonetti. (Nice theremin, duder.)
Corny Eurohorror atmosphere!
Bad dubbing.
The non-CGI sets and locations are great!
Weird Argento crap.
Gore!
Atmosphere - wind, lightning, graveyard, castle, old library, etc.
Nudity!
Homosexual overtones.
Great lighting.
The axe scene (Tenebre reference?).
Dracula's swarm of fly entrance (Phenomena reference?).
I really like the actress playing Mina (Marta Gastini).

The Bad:

The flying-through-the-village opening credits look like shit.
The Dracula-owl looks like shit.
The train station looks fucking shit. What the fuck?
The wolf transformation scene is the best that the computers of 1997 had to offer.
The script is very silly.
People that should be dubbed, aren't.
Cheesy sound effects.
The acting is bad, especially from Asia Argento and the duder playing Jonathan Harker.
I really don't like the vampires turning to dust in this. More poor CGI.
The praying mantiss scene is insanely dumb.
10 minutes too long.
"Thank God I had enough garlic for one bullet."

The Moviethon Vlog #16 - Giallo Meltdown: The Book Update

HTITDS Episode #34: Argento Part 1 - The 90s Films

Where better to start with Argento? Start with the crap and work your way backwards, forwards, and then backwards again? Or not. Whatever. Brad and I start our Argento series with Two Evil Eyes, Trauma, The Stendhal Syndrome, and The Phantom of the Opera. We did this and we hope you like it. That is true. It is all true. Wow. Wowee wow wow.

Check it out, yo.

Old episodes? Here are the archives!

See you next time, kids.

My Childhood Showed Up In The Mail

http://doomedmoviethon.com/articles/say_uh_phenomena.htm

By the way, I am reevaluating the 82 minute cut.

This is Horror Redux

I have talked about this BEFORE. But now I own a little piece of the puzzle.

I cannot stress how important This is Horror AKA Stephen King's World of Horror was to my burgeoning horror movie fandom. This show was stretched out over several Saturday nights on MTV (it was on before Headbangers Ball if I recall correctly). My curiosity about the genre had already been stoked by Elvira, Commander USA, Jason, and Freddy. This is Horror gave me some direction. The next time I was at the video store (Video-X-Tron had already been bought out by Blockbuster by then) but they still had a good selection. I beheld the horror aisle and I made the proclamation that I would watch every single horror movie in the store.







Most irritatingly, I haven't found the entire series yet. Apparently, it was on Japanese laserdisc at one point but all I have right now is this one VHS tape. First things first, the whole description on the back of the box is bullshit. The description might be for the entire series but the person buying this one tape is in for something slightly different.


When it comes to converting old VHS to DVD-R, this is my favorite company.


Nice use of the killer in Phenomena there. Or just a major spoiler.


Stephen King comes off a little ridiculous here.


Argento is also just a tad wound up.

I am shocked by how much Dario Argento is on this tape. Most (if not all) of the footage of the "Italian Hitchcock" comes from the Michele Soavi directed documentary, Dario Argento's World of Horror. This is quite interesting for me because it seems as though this may have been the impetus for me to seek out old Dario. So this show might have been why I marched into the video store and demanded me some Creepers. My last post shed some light on this confusing moment.


The joke's on us. These frames are back in style now.

There's some talk with director Brian Yuzna and special effects designer Steve Johnson. There's lots of good stuff here. I'm glad that films of my youth like the very disturbing Society and the very fun Dead Heat were mentioned. There's a weak and rather half-assed section on vampire movies. They show clips from Vampyres which was very surprising (never found that one on VHS as a kid!), the comedic vampire scenes from The House that Dripped Blood, and friggin' Vamp which I can remember renting but still can't remember a single scene from.


I'm sure this looked much funnier on paper.

So yeah, there you go. That pretty much sums up what is on the tape. I finally got a little tiny slice of what was an extremely influential part of my growing up. All of this took place in Jupiter, Florida so you can imagine how important having a world of fantasy to escape to was for me at the time. I was not what you would call a popular kid so many of my weekends were spent alone in front of the TV with the VCR buzzing away. Horror movies were my best buds and they continue to warm my heart even after all these years.

Well jeez, Christmas Eve is upon me and here I am babbling about my childhood again. Have a nice holiday everyone. I'll try to post some more cool stuff before the end of the year but you know how it is. Maybe I'll do some obnoxious "unboxing" videos on Youtube. I may only get a few pairs of socks this year but I know I can count on you to be interested in them. I leave you all with some cool stuff that didn't appear on my tape:

VHS Covers of Doom - Part 4

VHS Covers of Doom Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.



Some things are becoming clear to me. As some of you may remember, for a very long time, Dario Argento's Phenomena was my favorite horror movie of all time. I spent a fair bit of time thinking about it. I really never put much thought into how that movie entered my life. It was just there. However, while I've been sorting through my strangely disjointed childhood horror movie memories, something revelatory happened. I remember very distinctly going straight to my local video store looking for Creepers, the truncated form of Phenomena. I found it, rented it, and there you go, end of story, right? WRONG, duder, WRONG!

The night I rented The Creepers, I was supposed to be renting Creepers. Since I was such a young idiot, I didn't know anything about anything and rented a totally different film. So I'm sitting there in my room, watching schoolgirls getting sexually assaulted and strangled by a madman (who I thought was French) and I kept thinking "This ain't right, y'all. This very, very ain't right at all, damn it!" The next day, I took the tape back and was able to get Creepers. Finally, I was able to witness my first Dario Argento film.

But wait, there's more! Man, this is boring. Anyway, not only had I found out that I did not enjoy watching women being raped; I also discovered my first taste of Euro-sleaze. Thank you, The Creepers AKA In the Devil's Garden AKA Assault AKA Say Goodbye to Your Innocence, Richard. But wait, didn't I get a free rental out of it? That's true, I did. Okay folks, my memory is coming to life here. The Creepers was in the Creepers box at the store. So I got to rent the proper film for free AND I'm totally blameless for the mishap. This is my primal scream therapy. AWOOOOOOO!

So there you go. Forget everything you know about how I came to find the magic that is Phenomena. Seriously, forget it. I did. Gee, do you think something may have led me to go searching for Creepers in the first place? Could it have been a little something called Stephen King's World of Horror AKA This is Horror? OMG! Will I be talking about that very program at length this month? ROFL! Thanks, this has been very fun.

Top Losers

While working on my top 10 list of favorite horror movies (which I’ll be sharing next week), I came up with over 20 films. After making my choices, I thought I’d take a quick look at THE LOSERS. Of course, by LOSERS, I mean TOTALLY ESSENTIAL LOSERS! For both this particular effort and my top 10, I have chosen to leave out Asian horror films since I just did my top 10 favorite Asian horror films last month. One of my failings is that I never seem to stop opting for obscurity and just talk about the essentials.

I look at my upcoming top 10 list and then I look at this list of shit that didn’t make it and I can’t help but find some amusement here. I mean, THIS is a list of the essentials while my top 10 list has stuff on it that (for the most part) aren’t nearly as important for forming the basis of your horror fandom. Does that make sense?

What I’m trying to say is that in my brain, I know that these films should comprise my best of whatever list but they don’t. My heart has other ideas in mind. These films I’m posting right now are some seriously fucking awesome movies that everyone interested in horror should have already seen by now. It warms my heart to see just how many of the following movies got to me when I was still in my formative years. Good stuff.



The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Sometimes a movie clicks with you the first time you watch it. Sometimes you watch a movie and you can’t figure out what all the fuss is about. The latter is what happened when I first watched TCM as a kid of about 12 or so. I really didn’t get it. After the initial scare of Leatherface coming out and hitting that duder with a mallet, I was fairly nonplussed by the rest of the flick. I liked the bit at the end when the chick was on the back of the truck scream-laughing but seriously, what the hell? The rest didn’t scare me or interest me that much at all.

Many years later, my friend Tim introduced me to Toby Hooper’s sequel to his 1974 film. During my kidhood, I had never had the courage to rent Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. There was something about the cover art that disturbed me. So finally, at 18 years old, I discovered what I had been missing for all those years. I loved Part 2, damn it. I could go on and on about how the 1986 sequel SHOULD NOT have worked (yet totally does) but I won’t right now. I will say that TCM2 is one of my favorite films from the 80s.

Fast forward 8 years more to when I finally, FINALLY gave the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre another chance. It all made sense. The whole crazy thing came together for me. I still love Part 2 but damn y’all, Tobe Hooper really had his head on straight (or dangerously crooked) for this one. The movie is pure unadulterated terror and unease from beginning to end. It’s sweaty nasty and will seriously make anyone reconsider taking a road trip through Texas ever again. Not that anyone would ever want to do that in the first place.



A Nightmare of Elm Street

I’ve written about my first encounter with Freddy Krueger on this blog before. The movies that I’m looking at here get better with multiple viewings and A Nightmare on Elm Street is certainly no exception. There is just enough mystery and tiny hidden details in this near-perfect horror film to keep me coming back over and over again. I can’t believe that Wes Craven directed Swamp Thing and then followed it up with this in 1984. Can you imagine how friggin’ different the world of horror would be if the guy had quit the film industry or croaked before this film had come out? I know I can’t. NOES takes the world of nightmares and the even darker world of suburbia to new and even more frightening levels. Shit, just thinking about this friggin’ movie and Freddy’s darkened visage gives me the creeps.

I don’t want to get carried away with sequel bashing, but if you can, try to forget everything about Freddy Krueger the next time you watch this film. Pretend it’s ’84 and Robert Englund is not a horror icon. Try to put yourself into the shoes of a not-so-seasoned horror fan experiencing this film for the first time. If this is similar to how you actually experienced NOES for the first time then good for you. I think if you can tap into that feeling with every viewing, then this film could potentially never get old. I love most of the sequels and even enjoyed the remake but nothing compares to the original, obviously.



Hellraiser/Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Hellraiser and its first sequel are perfectly connected in my mind. I cannot separate the two. Clive Barker’s film is simply breathtaking in its glorious assault on the senses and Hellbound is its totally fucked up and over the top extension. Whatever trick I pulled on my folks to be able to rent these films for the first time must have been pretty brilliant. Seriously, this is Hellraiser. I remember sitting in my room alone, in the dark, and having the wits scared out of me. If there was one defining moment that turned me into a gorehound for life, this was probably it.



Tenebre

This wondrously stylish flick has an undeniable feeling about it. I don’t know how to phrase it exactly. I do know that one’s enjoyment of Tenebre increases with every viewing. Some scientists studied the brains of Argento fans and found this to be true. However, I can’t say this is my favorite film from the giallo master but it is way, way up there. At times, this film gets its ass kicked by Suspiria but right now, while I’m making this list of things that didn’t make my other list, I’m only just now thinking of Suspiria. I’m weird.

Review here



The Beyond

At the risk of overhyping and thus ruining this outrageous and freakish piece of Italian cinema, I’m going to go ahead and reiterate my statement that The Beyond is the quintessential Italian horror film. How can I backpedal from this? I guess add “of the 1980s” onto the end of that statement. Nothing pains me more than to read about people running to this film and coming away more pissed off than confused. When I first watched The Beyond, I saw it on a budget DVD under its slightly censored Seven Doors of Death moniker. I was, for lack of a better word, amused. I found the movie very funny but my laughter was very dry and nervous.

You see, I had been totally caught off guard by The Beyond. It wasn’t until my second viewing a month or two later that I realized that something insanely important had happened to me. Just pursuing horror movies, any horror movies, would no longer do. I had to see more ITALIAN horror movies, like immediately.

Another important lesson here: horror movies don’t have to make sense. If Fulci has taught us anything it is that people who are about to die hold very still so that what is going to happen can fucking happen; especially when fake plastic spiders rip their tongues out. You don’t have to like this film and I swear I’m not being a snob here. But if you hate a Fulci the first time around, wait a few years, and give it a second chance.



Death Smiles at Murder

My mind gets all soupy and blurry when I think about this darling little film. Joe D’Amato was such a great talent. He could make anything, even porn (the softcore stuff anyway), special. This gory and sexy half giallo, half supernatural gothic nightmare came into my life like a very subtle rhino and I hope it never leaves. Every horror fan with even the most distant and tiny spark of an interest in 70s horror weirdness and Italian horror needs to check this out immediately.

Review here



The Shining

I was much too young when I watched The Shining. I can’t remember what year it was but I know that I was too young for it. This movie is so damn creepy and horrifying. The best thing, of course, is how Stanley Kubrick strayed from Stephen King’s novel. I used to be a pretty big Stephen King fan but I never gave a damn about the original book. The movie has always been and always will be the truer version of the story in my head. Part of what makes this flick so great is that I didn’t feel safe anymore. And not just in hotels either. I mean, anywhere. Suddenly, ghosts were real and they meant me lots of harm.



The Ghost

For a short time there, Barbara Steele was the queen of horror movies. My favorite film of hers is the 1963 sleepy shocker, The Ghost, from director Riccardo Freda. Freda was not a prolific horror director but he made some awesome shit. The Ghost has all the class of a great gothic ghost story but doesn’t shy away from some camera-splattering violence and all out cackling madness when it needs to. This film is quite hypnotic but a little on the drowsy side at times. But if you doze off, no big deal, chances are you’ll wake up when something awesome happens. The Ghost definitely feeds my need for Euro-horror and has "The Vibe" which I obsessively search for all the time.



Halloween II

Ah, sequels. Everyone knows that they are never (well, almost never) better than the original. But what if you’re really, really young. Like 8 years old. So I watched Halloween II and was only vaguely aware that it’s called Halloween II because it’s the second film. Hey, I never said I was smart. Anyway, this was the first thing I saw and this was my introduction to the world of Michael Meyers. I had already spent a few nights in hospitals by the time I saw this film so it was easy for me to get totally freaked out.

I also have a passion for Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 as discussed here.



Messiah of Evil

Most horror fans owe Mill Creek a lot. Their multi-movie packs are what we’ve been waiting for all our dang lives. It seems like a pretty common story among horror bloggers and Messiah of Evil but thanks to good old Mill Creek, I was able to discover this fantastic little gem. I knew absolutely nothing about this flick and to find it that way, tucked away among 49 other cheapo horrors, is just perfect.

Review here



Friday the 13th Part 4 – The Final Chapter

When someone said, “Well, if we’re going to end the series, let’s do it right.” And God help them, they really succeeded, at least in making a great movie and a fitting “end”. Even though I have enjoyed many of the Friday the 13th sequels after this “Final” chapter, I have to say that had this been the end of the series, I would have been completely satisfied. I love this damn movie.



Sorry if I keep getting all sequel happy on ya but Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn is the horror film that I rented the most when I was a youngster. I first heard about this film from that This is Horror series on MTV. I did the right thing and rented the first Evil Dead film but I didn't really like it very much. Immediately after it ended, I popped in the tape of Evil Dead 2 and I instantly connected with this film. Sam Raimi essentially remade the first film but took it to insane new heights of um... insanity. I just could not stop renting this film. I made my friends watch it and I even made my mom watch the part where Ash's own hand assaults him in the kitchen.



Night of the Creeps

I first discovered this film at a neighborhood party my parents were attending. I think I was 12 years old and I was supposed to be hanging out with the other kids my age but they had gone off to cause some trouble in the neighborhood (apparently, I missed out on their games of “ding dong, ditch”). Thankfully, I was allowed into the den to sit and watch TV alone. The station I turned to was playing a little movie called Night of the Creeps. It was scary, weird, and very, very funny. This instantly became my favorite horror movie for many years to come and I tried to wear out my local video store’s copy as often as I could. In fact, this was the only horror movie I rented almost as many times as Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn. This poor film floated around in bootleg limbo for far too long only finally coming to DVD (with some lame cover art) in 2009.

Having revisited Night of the Creeps recently, I found out that I still love it but for some reason, it just couldn’t crack my top 10 favorite films. If I was doing my best horror films of the 1980s list, this one would be way near the top. With its kickass gore, recurring jokes, and loveable characters, this movie just warms my heart.

Review here

Dario Argento by James Gracey

Shit! I read this one too fast. (Oh well, I'll just have to read it again.) James Gracey's book on Dario Argento is a fun to read and in-depth study of the director's entire career from The Bird With the Crystal Plumage to Giallo. Each film is presented with a brief history of the production, discussion of its themes, music, trivia, and more. Even if you've read other books on Argento, you'll still want to check out this one as Gracey approaches the material with energy and intelligence. I guarantee you'll be dusting off your Dario Argento DVDs to reevaluate even the titles you didn't think you liked before (yeah right, like your Argento DVDs ever collect any dust). One thing I thing I really like about this book: The Mother of Tears gets a positive review! And the only thing I didn't like about the book was some shit talking about Fulci on page 192. Unacceptable! Okay, I guess calling Fulci a "bandwagon jumper" is fair but I love both directors' work equally, damn it.

Wednesday Ramble: My Life with Demons

My friend Shawn was the first of my friends to come from a ‘broken home’. His parents were divorced! This alien concept was a struggle for me to accept at first but as time passed, I realized that kids from homes with divorced parents are people too. Shawn’s cool redneck dad lived next door to me so I only got to see my friend every two weeks or so. Okay, maybe ‘cool redneck’ is an oxymoron. He had a really racist dog named Shiloh. So anyway, one weekend when I was ten years old, I managed to convince Shawn that I had to spend the night at his mom’s house. She had remarried several years before and for some reason, I imagined that Shawn’s life at her place was some kind of Shangri-La.

I was right. I swear to you, this kid had every friggin’ G.I. Joe figure and vehicle ever released and we spent so much time choosing our forces and setting up the battle, that we never actually had the battle. The next day, with only two short hours left before I had to leave Heaven, his mom reminded Shawn and I that we hadn’t watched all the movies we’d rented. There were two left: an action movie I can’t remember and Lamberto Bava’s Demons.

The horror bug had already crawled into my brain and was laying eggs (which are still hatching to this day) so my vote was for Demons. For some reason, the hideous creature on the box art was strangely hypnotic and I couldn’t stop staring at it, even as the movie played out. Obviously, I had no idea who producer Dario Argento was or who director Lamberto Bava was. I had no idea that Italians made horror movies. That revelation was a long time comin’.



[Some minor spoilers coming up. Shouldn’t affect your enjoyment of the film.]

There has rarely ever been a more perfect entertainment. My ten year old brain devoured Demons. The film is about a movie theater full of patrons who get possessed by murderous and slime-spewing creatures from hell. Luckily, there are samurai swords and motorcycles lying around to enable all kinds of nonsensical mayhem and gore-soaked action setpieces. The only scenes that truly frightened me were when the survivors finally get outside the theater to find that the city is overrun with possessed people. I have this thing about society breaking down. Very scary.

So the hero guy and the survivor girl hitch a ride with some heavily armed parents and their kid in a jeep who are trying to flee the city. As they’re cruising along and we expect the ending credits to roll, the girl suddenly starts growling and we see that she was scratched by a demon at some point. While she’s turning into a demon beast, the kid nonchalantly turns around in his seat and shoots her with his shotgun. Point fucking blank. She goes flying and my jaw hit the floor. After all the gore and pretty much relentless insanity of Demons, the last thing I expected was this kid to be a bad ass.

Shawn and his mom were nonplussed by this monumental event. Shawn thought that the kid was dumb for taking so long to react. You see, I always identified with kids in movies so to see one actually kill someone (even someone possessed by a demon) was very shocking (and empowering) to me at the time. I would be similarly bowled over by Hob, the kid drug kingpin in Robocop 2. Demons would pop up again a year later when my sister and her husband were looking after me. This time, something truly scary happened: I accidentally kicked over my brother-in-law’s spit can. I know that the cigars I smoke are disgusting and all but my God, the toxic waste that came slowly oozing out of that Coke can was truly odious.



When the sequel to Demons hit the video store, I was more than a little ecstatic. Some people have claimed disappointment with Demons 2 but I have to say, I was completely satisfied the first time around. In this film, the demons go after the residents of an apartment complex. It may not be the most memorable or inventive film but for my preteen brain, it was magic. The scene where the demon comes out of the television… Genius! And of course, the fight scene in the weight room where a bunch of roid-raging lunkheads are no match for the demons is freakin’ awesome.

I guess the most frustrating thing about Demons and Demons 2 is that I had to grow up (don't believe it). Back in 2003, when I revisited these flicks from my childhood, they just didn't measure up. Call me crazy but the first film drags. I wasn't friggin' BORED with Demons when I was 10! What fucking horrible trauma happened to me between 1986 and 2003 that made me into such a lame-o? Oh yeah, that's right. I worked at Pier 1 Imports. It's sequel is just kind of redundant and mostly disappointing. Thankfully, I can still appreciate these films for their killer soundtracks and Italian oddness but alas, most of the magic is gone. Boo hoo.