Hello! This is the Doomed Show 296 - Mark of the Witch (1970)

Hello! This is the Doomed Show has returned for another year of madness and badness. It looks like we're gearing up for episode 300. I guess we better do something special, huh? Anyway, here's Mark and I talking about this bonkers flick from the director of Return to Boggy Creek (1977).

Franco Friday 63: My Top 20 Favorite Jess Franco Films

It has been far too long since I've had a Franco Friday on this blog and I was trying to think of a way to get back into it and get inspired to dig into more of the unseen-by-me work of Jess Franco. Even though the man's giant-sized career can be pretty perilous, I really miss exploring the unknown with Captain Jess at the helm. And so here I am with some list-making! Everyone loves to make lists of lists and this list should fill your listy heart. 

The following pile of film titles is in the order in which I thought of them and not a best to least or most leastest to mostest best order or anything like that. These have been human hand-selected by me from the 55 or so Jess Franco films that I have seen. My main goal is to make hardcore Francophiles mad at me, which is very easy to do, so mission already accomplished. Let's go!

Eugenie De Sade (1973) 

Of course, I thought of this one first. This is still my favorite Jess Franco film even with its wildly uncomfortable subject matter. It's just so jam packed with ennui and cold beauty that I just adore it. This is one of the achingly beautiful Soledad Miranda's best roles. And yes, Paul Muller is achingly beautiful too. Heart breaking and cruel in the most endearing way.

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)

And yes, this was the second film I thought of when I think of my Franco favorites. That's probably weird, right? I champion this languid crap, but I don't expect anybody out there to try and high five me when they read this. Perhaps Oasis of the Zombies is just for me. It sucks but in a uniquely Franconian way.

The Silence of the Tomb (1972/1976)

Jess Franco made a giallo? Heck yeah he did! He made a couple. This is a very, very low budget production with a solid cast and quite a mean streak. I'd watch just about anything with Montserrat Prous. Several of Franco's regulars (Kali Hansa!) are in this, and it just makes me happy. Plus, that title! Very charming, nihilistic, and listless (in a good way).

The Devil Came from Akasava (1971)

This silly spy thriller with sci-fi and fantasy overtones is just a hoot. The fact that it has thirteen cast and crew members in common with She Killed in Ecstasy (1971) is just mind-boggling to me. I like to think of this fluffy nonsense as the wacky B side to that film's brooding A side.

The Sinister Eyes of Dr. Orloff (1973)

Do you like your William Berger with lettuce, tomato, and onions? Too bad, because this one is covered with cheese! Sinister Eyes is quite the strange little Orloff movie (a character that Jess Franco would return to many, many times). It's dreamy, weird, sad, and goofy. I love it.

Les ebranlées AKA Dolls For Sale (1972)

Now here is a film that I wish would get a Blu-ray. Howard Vernon playing a womanizing private eye must be seen to be believed. The whole film is kinda kooky, very trashy, and delivered through what feels like a drug-fueled haze.

Erotikill (1973) 

It's safe to assume that most fully licensed Jess Franco fans (let's just call them "Jess FANcos") will make fun of me for preferring the thrashed/neutered VHS version of Female Vampire, but I friggin' LOVE this version. The dubbing is straight up gold and the cruddy, washed out look makes this one ever so beautiful and claustrophobic. Lina Romay is diabolically sexy in this one.

Blue Rita (1977)

Speaking of films that are almost too weird to exist. If inflatable furniture and gooey alien sex slime are what you're craving, then Blue Rita is for you. You don't just watch this brightly colorful oddball gem, you insert it into your eyeholes. Hyper-stylized to a nearly impossible degree, Blue Rita is one that I highly doubt you will ever forget.

Dr. Orloff's Monster (1964)

This one gets under my skin in a way that is just lovely. It's perfectly filmed in stark black and while the pretty malaise is set to maximum power. The jazzy score combined with the gothic setting, taboo breaking eroticism, and somnambulitic plotting make Dr. Orloff's Monster a fine example of Franco's early work that show the promise of things to come.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)

I can't even put this one into words other than to say that THIS is 100% essential Jess Franco. You need to see this one yesterday or sooner. The Queen of the Night is waiting...

Vampyros Lesbos (1971) 

My first Franco will always be a favorite. Could I have chosen a more perfect title as my first? I certainly don't think so! Is the THE BEST Jess Franco film? Definitely not, but timing is everything, especially when you're a burgeoning Euro-horror freako. Also, it has the whole bag of Franco's tricks in one colorful and dreamy package. Get it!

Daughter of Dracula (1972)

I love this one even though it's decidedly lower tier Franco. But it's lower tier Franco from my favorite period of his work, so it's pretty great. As usual, Anne Libert steals the movie even when she's just sitting on a wall looking intense. Walk or crawl but definitely don't run to watch this beautiful failure.

Rites of Frankenstein (1973) 

Wait a minute! Isn't this supposed to be called The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein? I don't have that version. I have the sex free Image Entertainment DVD, which is an English dub of the (probably Spanish) censored version. I did not seek out this version on purpose, I swear. It just happened. This is a great example of the power of good old Jess. Even though this film has been chopped up to hell, it still captured my imagination. It's wonderful.

Faceless (1988)

Here's another one of Franco's attempts to change with the times and bring the gore to a story he'd made over and over again. This remake of Eyes Without a Face (1960) is a well that Jess would nearly run dry, but damn, this one is very unique. Tacky 80s bullshit to make your pores leak blood while you cackle at the ecstatic stupidity. Brigitte Lahaie, Caroline Munro, Florence Guérin, and Lina Romay in the same movie?! Need I say any more?

Kiss Me Monster (1969)

Could Jess Franco do comedy? Of course he could! He could do anything. Don't let anyone tell you this isn't a party movie. They don't know how to party. This is one of my absolute favorites and a fine example of the power of cinema to make you feel good for no reason. Heartily and sillily -how is "sillily" not a real word?- recommended.

Bloody Moon (1981)

If not for the actual onscreen murder of a snake, this would be a perfect Euro-slasher. This film's bloody and trashy excesses are only matched by how ridiculous its story and English dubbing are. I strongly recommend Bloody Moon, but as soon as you see that snake, hide your eyes. And that's not a euphemism!

Venus in Furs (1969)

Sing it with me folks: VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'! Another absolute banger from the master. I am almost comically overdue for a rewatch of this film. I've only seen it once(!), but it has stayed with me for years now. This plot is uh... familiar if you've ever seen a Jess Franco film, but whatever, it's great. Get ready to get buried under a mountain of jazzy style.

Night of the Skull (1974)

Another bargain basement Franco giallo and a period piece to boot! This may be cheap, but it fits the mold of the thrillers of the time perfectly. The killer's mask will embarrass you. It embarrasses everyone. You're gonna love it. Carlo Savina's music is probably the most expensive thing this movie has going for it. Worth a look because I genuinely dig this film, but maybe watch this before you get to some of the other classics. I wouldn't save this one for later.

The Other Side of the Mirror (1973)

I'm putting this one on here to remind myself to watch it again. Cheers to my pal David Ladd for getting me the non-porn version finally. The only copy I had for years was the terrible French (I think) version with unrelated genitals cut in to make a spicier cut. That version truly did this masterfully depressing, artful, and nuanced melodrama a disservice. Emma Cohen and Alice Arno? Need I say more?

She Killed in Ecstasy (1971) 

Going out on a high note here, folks. This is one of those movies that sits proudly on my shelves, but every time I see it sitting there, I get too excited to watch it. Soledad Mirana fucking owns this one and this film just makes me angry that she died so damn young. What a nightmare. Life sucks. Oops, sorry. Anyway, this languid, melancholic, and kinky masterpiece is an excellent example of why film is an awesome medium. Strongly recommended.

The INV4SIAN: Review Roundup

Well, happy Halloween everybody! This post will conclude an entire month of Asian cinema reviews here at the Cinema Somnambulist blog palace. I hope you all have been enjoying this cavalcade of goodness (and only occasional not-so-greatness). As usual, I have watched way more films than I can hope to write full reviews of within any kind of a thing called "time". So, here's a list of 13 more films that I watched in order to celebrate Asian cinema. Check it out:

Skin Striperess (1992)

Skin Stripperess is the trashy tale of a shady dude pimping out his girlfriend to secure investors for a beachfront development project. When she dies in a freak electrical accident, her spirit returns and funks his ship up. A monk (Ching-Ying Lam) is called in to exorcise her spirt. It doesn’t go very well. I enjoy this film’s gore (especially that skin stripping), colorful lighting, and liberal use of fog machines. Unfortunately, there’s animal violence with frogs and snakes getting murdered onscreen. Dig the music lifted from Lucio Fulci’s City of the Living Dead (1980) on this film’s score. I kind of liked this one, but would never sit through it again.

A Monstrous Corpse (1981)

This Korean remake of Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) is somewhat disjointed and flat, but has enough cool moments to warrant a viewing for fans of Jorge Grau's masterpiece. The story (that follows the original's very closely with only slight variations) is about an experimental radio transmitter that awakens the dead. The version I'm reviewing is either censored or was very tame from the get go, but that's okay since the countryside setting is beautiful and the music features some neato synthesizer work. Not too shabby, but not essential viewing.

Mail (2004)

Mail is a collection of stories featuring a detective who specializes in sending ghosts to the afterlife. After being very impressed by the manga by Housui Yamazaki, I have to admit I was a little let down by this shot on video (and probably made for TV) adaptation. Part of the problem is that it's so cheap looking, but also I wasn't expecting an episodic collection of stories crammed into a feature length movie. Stylistically, this movie can be summed up in the main character's ridiculous looking baggy leather pants. You're better off reading the manga, though Chiaki Kuriyama (of Battle Royale (2000) fame) is in this and she makes everything better (sometimes).

Witch from Nepal (1986)

Before you even ask, it's not pronounced "weyatch frown nipple". Chow Yun-Fat plays Joe, just your average Jim, who ends up getting himself involved in a supernatural battle against the forces of evil. He also strikes up a romance with magical Sheila (Emily Chu), much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Ida. Witch from Nepal is pretty awesome with its magical fun, dreamlike qualities, emphasis on spectacle, corny love story, and genuine weirdness. Low key but also kind of essential if you're a fan of Hong Kong madness. At the time of this review, Witch from Nepal is on Tubi. Go for it!

Kakashi AKA Scarecrow (2001)

A remote village is getting ready for their Wicker Man-like festival by putting up nightmarish scarecrows all over the damn place. Kaoru (Maho Nonami) has shown up in the middle of tthis wacko fest to find her missing brother. She should have not done that. This quiet and eerie little movie was a nice creepy surprise. Any time I can find a Japanese horror film from the late 1990s/early 2000s heyday that is unseen by me, I'm gonna jump on it. Kakashi is tinged with a melancholic vibe and is graced with beautiful cinematography and cool sound design. Director Norio Tsuruta has made quite a few horror films in their career including Ring 0: Birthday (2000). I wish Kakashi was more talked about. I mean more than me right now. Highly recommended. 

Ghost Eyes (1974)

Pao-ling (played by Szu-Chia Chen) is a manicurist that meets a mysterious optometrist who seems to have some strange power over her. Could he be a vampire? This is a solid horror film from the director of COrpse Mania (1981). It has some scary moments, is super melodramatic, but also brings the silliness at times. I ended up rooting for the heroine. I really wanted her to be okay. The music and the cinematography give this one some occasional giallo feels which I always appreciate. 

Look Out, Officer! (1990)

Seasoned police detective Piao (Bill Tung) is killed by a smelly drug kingpin and returns from the afterlife as a ghost. He teams up with police cadet Hsing (Stephen Chow) and his former partner (Stanley Sui-Fan Fung) to set things right. This one is pretty bad (those fart and pee jokes), but enjoyable enough for Stephen Chow fans. A cat poops on an altar... twice. There are some clever gags and I got a kick out of the hokey music stingers on the soundtrack. There's plenty of ghostly malfeasance and even some sorcery in the plot. There are some jokes at the expense of Vietnamese immigrants. Boo. No one asked for that.

Exte: Hair Extensions (2007)

A body is discovered in a crate of human hair. Thanks to a shady security guard/hair fetishist at the morgue, the hair ends up getting sent to a hairdresser and used as extensions. But it's cursed hair, y'all! So yes, this is truly one of the strangest films I've ever seen, which is hardly surprising since it comes from writer/director Sion Sono. Chiaki Kuriyama stars in this one and well, you know, she rocks. This isn't all just freaky and hilarious weirdness. Exte is also emotionally brutal and can get pretty disturbing. If I reveal too much, it would be a disservice since you need to see this one for yourself.

Howling Village (2019)

A lady goes searching for her brother who disappeared at the legendary “Howling Village”. I freakin’ love how prolific Takashi Shimizu is. The guy has directed over 25 horror movies and TV shows at the time of this writing. Howling Village is a very pretty and gloomily atmospheric film with some overly melodramatic moments near the finale, but overall, it’s a solid effort. Keep an eye out for Renji Ishibashi, one of my favorite character actors whose credits have already pushed past the 400 mark. The worst thing I can say about this film is that it felt about 5 minutes too long for me. I suspect that if you’re vibing with it, you won’t mind at all.

Forbidden Siren (2006)

Oh no! Not another cursed village movie! Why does this keep crappening to me?! In 1976, a terrible disaster struck a small island village leaving only one survivor. A writer moves there with his two kids and is warned by the locals not to go out at night when the island's siren goes off. His daughter (Yui Ichikawa) almost immediately discovers that shit just ain't right in this spooky place. This one really surprised me. It has a really cool, unique vibe to it. I dig the Lovecraftian vibes and the claustrophobic nature of the island setting. Now I want to play the video game it's based on.

Heartbeat 100 (1987)

Trying to remember the plot of this movie is almost impossible thanks to my gibberish notes. BUT... I will try. Murderous thieves hiding out in a small village terrorize some tourists, including a writer (Maggie Cheung), who's just looking for a relaxing working vacation. That should do it. Anyway, Heartbeat 100 won me over with its uncomplicated plot, spooky moments, garish lighting, surprising gore, corny comedic situations, and a killer ceiling fan. It's basic as hell but entertaining. Not a strong recommend, but if you're in the mood for some Hong Kong trash, give it a whirl. One of the characters is named Weeny Eyes and also there's a poodle named Chu-Chu.

Vampire Hunters (2003)

Four vampire fighting monks battle the forces of evil to save the life of a beautiful girl. That is the VERY SHORT version because, this is way too complicated to get into here. I kept seeing this one for rent at Hollywood Video, but never took a chance on it. I'm really glad that I finally did because it's a winner! Co-produced and written by Tsui Hark and directed by actor-turned-director Wellson Chin, Vampire Hunters is very imaginative with some inventive gore and cool vampires. This came out right before dodgy CGI took over, but there's a few cruddy digital touches here and there. A lot of the film takes place on sound stages with practical effects aplenty. There's also just the right amount of humor mixed in to keep things from ever getting too serious. 

Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue (1992)

Thanks to his dad's experimentation, college athlete Shin becomes Kamen Rider, a half-man, half-grasshopper superhero. It's up to him to battle an evil syndicate called "The Syndicate", who plan on using his dad's work to take over the world. Where has this movie been all my life? The creature effects are as cool as they are slimy. With its schlocky melodrama and heightened over acting from the cast, this one just hits all the right beats for me. It plays like a kids movie, but there's nudity (laughable swimming pool sex scene) and tons of violence (arterial spray!). The jammin' synthesizer score alone should make this essential viewing for 1980s creature feature enthusiasts. Based on the hit TV series that has spawned many, many iterations, I heartily recommend this and its very fun sequel from the following year called Kamen Rider ZO (1993).

THE INVASIAN: Wolf Guy (1975)

 

Who is Akira Inugami (Sonny Chiba)? Is he a private detective? Is he a deadly coin-thrower? Is he the last descendant of a race of vaguely wolf-like people? The answer to these questions is yes, definitely mostly kind of yes. Akira gets dragged into a bizarre case where men are being slashed to bits by an invisible assailant. His only lead is Miki (Etsuko Nami), a nightclub singer who was raped by a gang of dudes who gave her syphilis. One by one, her rapists are being mangled to death by what can only be described as a psychic tiger. This case leads Akira down a dangerous path when a group of scientists capture him and Miki, looking to exploit them for their unusual gifts. He escapes -How does he do it? Let’s just say that it takes guts!- and flees to the countryside to visit what’s left of his village. But where Wolf Guy goes, trouble always follows.

Where the hell did this come from? Oh duh! Wolf Guy is straight from the heady miasma of Toei’s disturbingly prolific production output of the mid-1970s. Sonny Chiba made 6 films and a TV series in 1975 and I’ll be damned if this isn’t the strangest. He’s absolutely not wasted here and he dominates the screen -as usual- while bringing this unusual character to life. Director Kazuhiko Yamaguchi certainly knew how to get the most out of his star especially since they collaborated several times before and after Wolf Guy. Etsuko Nami manages to wrangle some well-deserved screentime away from Chiba with her hypnotic performance as Miki, a woman whose life was destroyed by sexual violence and who is now spiraling out of control.

What really stands out in Wolf Guy is the score by composer- well, I don’t have a clue who did this gorgeous combination of fuzz guitar-laden funk and atmospheric synthesizer. According to IMDB, cinematographer Yoshio Nakajima shot 36 films in 14 years and certainly gives the viewers of Wolf Guy a lot of vibrant colors and kinetic madness to drool over. I have to wonder if screenwriter Kazumasa Hirai -and creator of the character Akira Kazumasa- was happy with the final product onscreen here. Toei producer Toru Yoshida hints in an interview in this release that he was not. But screw that! Wolf Guy is a howling good time!

While I’ve never read the source material, Wolf Guy captures the wild, anything goes spirit of manga itself and is a helluva good watch for Japanese cult film aficionados. This forgotten oddity will certainly be a title I reach for when I want to confuse guests on a Saturday night. The really extreme exploitation elements, a very brief rape sequence and some real surgery footage, are never cranked up to levels that make for uncomfortable viewing. And the superb pacing of this film is such that I didn’t want the film to be over once the credits started rolling. I can’t wait to watch Wolf Guy again!