My Favorite First Time Watches of 2023

Thankfully, my life has been very hashtag blessed when compared to how the rest of the world seems to be fairing. I'd love to say the phrase, "This has been a great year!" without the word "catastrophe" stuck in it somewhere. I hope you are doing well and staying sexy as hell so far in the '24. Anyway, last year was a very busy one for me as I was working on this freakin' book pretty much the whole time. Now that it's done, I feel like I can finally breathe and get this one started off right. And the best way to start the year off right is to look at last year for a while.

Before we get to the movies, here are my fave books and manga I read, music I listened to, and TV that I watched.

The Principal, The Substitute, and The Coach by M.C. Sumner - I've been a fanboy of the Super Chillers podcast since its inception and my pal Jeffrey (who co-hosts it) recommended this trilogy of YA horror novels to me, and I absolutely loved them. A vampire takes the job of the new principal at an overcrowded high school and shit goes crazy. If you're looking for some excellently paced, scary, and fun vamp stuff to read, check them out.

 

 

Mieruko Chan (2018 - onging) - I finally took a break from the numerous volumes of Junji Ito and tried a new to me manga that sounded fun, and Mieruko Chan absolutely destroyed my expectations. It is funny, sweet, and unsettling. I can't recommend this one highly enough and I can't wait for the next volume! I haven't seen the anime yet, so I can't speak on if that's worth seeking out. 

 

 

 At the Mountains of Madness (2019) - Speaking of new-ish to me manga, I was completely entranced by Tanabe Gou's superb and very detailed adaptation. I've read a ton of Lovecraft over the years, but I had never managed to get through Mountains. So, this story was completely new to me, and I can't stress enough how glad I am that this was how I chose to finally check it out. I wonder what Lovecraft, that old racist, would have thought of a Japanese man adapting his works.

Marnie Stern - The Comeback Kid (2023) - I waited 10 years for Marnie Stern, one of my top 5 favorite guitarists, to return to scene with a new record. Unsurprisingly, she came back with a vengeance and wrecked my mind with yet another collection of hyper, intricate, and dazzling songs to breathe life into my earholes. 

"Hetty Wainthropp Investigates" (1996-1998) - My wife and I watch a lot of British mystery shows from the golden era of the 80s and 90s, so I was very excited to have finally gotten around to this charming little show. Fans of Patricia Routledge's performance as Hyacinth Bucket on "Keeping Up Appearances" should check out this one out. It was very surprising for me to see Routledge play a character who is tough, smart, and sweet.

And now, my favorite first time watches in alphabetical order!

Abracadabra (1986) - I love watching the cast of this film trying to imitate actual humans. I don't know what Tai-Kit Mak, the director of the live action version of Wicked City (1992), told them, but I don't think it was "Hey, just act natural. You're playing a real person with thoughts and feelings like everybody else." I'm so glad that this insanity exists.

Arcane Sorcerer (1996) - Pupi Avati must have sold his soul to the devil, because his films are consistently excellent. This enigmatic wonder would pair well with the "BBC Ghost Stories for Christmas". Very highly recommended by yours truly.

The Boneyard (1991) - While scouring IMDB for Thanksgiving horror movies, I stumbled upon this oddity that I had forgotten (and often confused with The Vineyard (1989)). The Boneyard is a quirky and actually heartfelt little horror movie. I'm excited to check this one out again next time Thanksgiving is sneaking around the corner.  

Dial Help (1988) - An instant favorite and nearly my favorite film of the year. I'm not a huge fan of Ruggero Deodato's work, but this one just clicked with me. It's outrageously plotted, confusing, hyper-stylized, and just plain crazy. Where's the Blu-ray?

Godzilla Minus One (2023) - I reckon this will be on many, many people's favorites list this year. And it better be! This was the first Godzilla movie to make me cry. It's just insanely great and I'm so happy I got to see it in the theater with my bestie.

The Haunted Cop Shop (1987) - And here's yet another wild Hong Kong vampire film, but this one does some unexpected turns to keep things offbeat. The gags are zany and clever and the film has excellent moments of spooky atmosphere that pair well with the laughs. I can't wait to show this to unsuspecting friends.

A Haunting in Venice (2023) - Well well well. I guess the third time is the charm! I enjoyed Murder on the Orient Express (2017), but I thought Death on the Nile (2022) was very weak. Maybe most people felt that way. The spooky Venice setting is used to excellent effect here. The best thing I can say about A Haunting in Venice is that Branagh finally made a movie that is almost as good as the old Poirot TV series with David Suchet. 

Mausoleum (1983) - I kept putting this film off because I'd heard that there was an unrated version out there somewhere. When I finally got an uncut Blu-ray, I watched it with my Movie Party Crew buds and it was just awesome. All of the excess of the 1980s with boundless energy. What an absolute treat. 

Il medium (1980) - I'm always on the hunt for films that give me "The Vibe" AKA that magical Euro-horror vibe that I have been chasing for so many years. This supernatural giallo hits all of those buttons and more for me. This feels like a forgotten dream and It's my favorite film I watched this year. Seek it out!

Rockula (1990) - Tacky tacky tacky! Why were the 1990s so wonderful? Rockula is meant to be a comedy but it's also incredibly dumb, but I was very charmed by it all. This was a much better horror vehicle for the utterly fabulous and always scene-stealing Toni Basil than the sleepy Slaughterhouse Rock (1988). God bless you, Cannon Films. This is from the director of Ghoulies (1984) so it's little wonder that I enjoyed it so much.

The Unnaturals (1969) - I wish this gothic horror flick by Antonio Margheriti wasn't so hard to find because it is so damn good! It is such a haunting and stylish classic just waiting for more people to see it. This is another "Where's the Blu-ray?" film, because we needed one yesterday. 

Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) - I could have sworn I'd seen this one back in the 90s, but I only recognized one scene! In fact, I played the Warlock video game on my Sega Genesis when I should have been watching this movie instead. This film is hugely imaginative, well made, and just truly excellent stuff. Julian Sands was such an enormous talent and we all miss him terribly.  

Some runners up because my list is so huge!

Dark Harvest (2023) - A stylish surprise that I'm glad I didn't miss. 

Darkroom (1989) - A by-the-numbers slasher that is dumb and fun!

Death Spa (1989) - Relentlessly crazy and over-complicated weirdness. 

Evil Dead Rise (2023) - I just love being trapped in a nightmare.

Howling III (1987) - Beyond dumb. Beyond entertaining. Werewolf walkabout!

Kakashi AKA Scarecrow (2001) - Overlooked J-horror needs to be seen.

Killer Condom (1996) - I wish I'd watched this bonkers gem years ago.

Moonage Daydream (2022) - Only 3 hours? I wish this had been longer!

Nomads (1986) - Very interesting premise with a great cast.

Radioland Murders (1994) - A stacked cast. Beautiful and funny. 

The Witches Mountain (1973) - Very slow but rewarding Spanish horror.