Thursday, November 27, 2014

Screw Thanksgiving, Here's A Halloween Blog Exclusive!

Back in September, I watched 9 Halloween films in one day. It was pretty awesome. I tried to have my video of me documenting this moviethon ready for October 31st. Well, I missed that self-imposed deadline by a mile. Hippopotamus! So I finished the video last night and I wanted to share it with you guys. I'm not posting this anywhere else until next week. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Friendster! So you guys who are doing some Cinema Somnambulist crawling today get to see it first. Happy Thanksgiving but really, happy Halloween...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Ann (The Babysitter)

My band GYROJETS has a new song called "Ann (The Babysitter)". It's about Ann (played by the lovely Ania Pieroni) from Lucio Fulci's The House by the Cemetery, my favorite film of all time. We're still learning the song so it's a little rough and it may get a tad different* but I thought you Eurohorror fanatics might enjoy this recording from last Sunday night.

*I'm going to try and squeeze an Oak Mansion reference in there somewhere.

Monday, November 17, 2014

The Gays

This might be the most insane trailer I've ever been asked to share. Work safe? Not unless you work somewhere amazing!

For more info, go here.

Now... The Gays.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Top 10 Post-1974 Gialli

Even though the giallo genre continues, albeit very shakily, to this day, I've always felt that the boom was OVER by 1974. I'm not happy about that but I find the gialli post-boom era extremely interesting. Some territories must have been craving bloody mystery films or else these films would have stopped forever. Here's a list that I threw together because lists are the essence of blogging.

10. A Blade in the Dark (1982)

“This is all the whiskey that you possess?” is my favorite line from a giallo ever and that alone lands this film on my list, even if it is the last spot. Lamberto Bava (or “Lambava” as Brad and I call him) really nailed this claustrophobic, atmospheric, incredibly violent, and wacky film. The English dubbing is gloriously cheesy and all of the female characters are weirdos. The score by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis is ethereal and haunting. What keeps this film so low on my list here is that it is definitely a little too long at 109 minutes.

9. Trauma (1993)

Of course, I already know that I’m going to be putting too much of one director on this friggin’ list, I A lot of people dog this movie but I straight up love it. Argento’s second attempt at conquering the American market (the first being Two Evil Eyes) certainly worked on me as a teenage person. I found this film haunting and thoroughly strange and in some ways it still is. In other ways, it is insanely stupid and melodramatic to the point of hilariousness. The whole bit about anorexia will have you shaking your head at this film’s clumsy attempts at tackling a serious issue. I’m not sure if I can recommend this film to you unless you are 16 years old and me. You have to be me.

8. Trhauma (1980)

This is a strange, slasher-esque, and rather obscure one that Brad recommended to me and I was glad when I finally got around to it. This one really gets under your skin and features some excellent disco music and oddball characters. You will probably be scratching your head just like I was by the incredibly abrupt ending. At only 78 minutes, you can’t go wrong with a bunch of strange dudes and gorgeous actresses being stalked in a creepy old house. I can’t wait to re-watch Trhauma. Yep, that’s how they spell it.

7. The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

When it comes to baffling movies, you would be hard pressed to find one more outrageously bizarre than what I consider Argento’s last truly great film to date. I will never forget being totally floored and genuinely shocked by The Stendhal Syndrome when I first saw it many years ago. I went into it only having seen a couple of Argento’s films and oh man, I was totally unprepared for this insanity. An incredible score by Ennio Morricone coupled with intensely beautiful and wildly brutal visuals make for a wonderful mix. I suggest multiple viewings of this one.

6. Autopsy (1975)

Mindbendingly sleazy and obsessively morbid describe this piece of really well made trash. Mimsy Farmer, Ray Lovelock, and Barry Primus in a sicko love triangle that makes me want to wash my hands just from typing about it. Solar flares, mass suicides, dead bodies, an 8mm porn collection, a Death Museum, racecars, a pervert with a limp (a limp what?), pseudoscience, and undead hallucinations are just parts that make this a crazy whole bunch of crazy crazy CRAZY CRA- Sorry, must be those solar flares.

5. The Psychic (1977)

When it comes to Fulci’s masterpieces, this is Fulci’s masterpiece. As you probably have already suspected, I am a fan of Lucio Fulci and his gialli are very near and very dear to me. If you’ve only seen the director’s gorier efforts like The Beyond or City of the Living Dead, then you absolutely must behold this masterful giallo. This film is a death circle that just keeps going around and around and around and the music by Bixio/Frizzi/Tempera is some next level shit. You gotta get on this.

4. Murder Obsession AKA Murder Syndrome (1980)

Oh Riccardo Freda, you magical bastard! I didn’t even realize this was a giallo until my third viewing. There is so much gothic freakiness packed into this little gem that I was just bewildered. The more I watch Murder Obsession, the happier I become in my life. Anita Strindberg’s last movie? And it’s a doozy too. Fake bats, fake spiders, out-of-body experiences, a chainsaw, ghostly recordings, religious symbolism, Laura Gemser (not my cup of tea but you know, whatever), a Satanic cult, adultery, etc. Get off your ass right now and then go and sit on your ass and watch this movie.

3. Eyeball (1975)

When someone says to you, “What in the damn hell fuck is a giallo, anyway?” Show them this film. I can’t stress enough how important this film is for genre fans. If you only ever watch one giallo then make it this one. I’m serious. Umberto Lenzi made an entertaining, trashy (but not sleazy), and goofy movie that gets better with every viewing and is just fun to watch with giallo-newbs. I still prefer Seven Bloodstained Orchids but this is a very close second. Where the hell is the Blu-ray?

2. The House with Laughing Windows (1976)

Don’t even get me started with this one. If anyone talks any smack about Pupi Avati, I swear I will pull a knife and start some shit. When it comes to injecting some class into a classless genre, look no further than this film (or –sigh- Short Night of the Glass Dolls (if you insist)). The dread packed into every frame of this lush period piece never fails to have me on the edge of my seat. Art and the obsessive search for the truth aren’t just themes in this film, they are cosmic forces playing against the main character and it is a horrible joy to watch. Brilliant.

1. Tenebre (1982)

I’m kind of surprised to see this at the number one spot on my list. I’ve never cared for this movie. It is too sedate, too artless, too generic. Of course, I’m kidding. Argento got cold feet and decided to screw his fans out of a Three Mothers film (for 27 years) after Suspiria and Inferno by dropping this giallo bombshell on the world. If you wanted to say something to the effect of: the genre died here. Go on, you can say it. Argento straight up killed it to death with Tenebre. This film is truly deranged and over-the-top. Tenebre will trample you with style and leave you wanting more. I need to watch this again right now.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

My wife is amazing...

LeEtta wrote a novel called Penelope Sea and Ocean End. She is posting it chapter by chapter on her blog. She also did the illustrations! Start here. You should check out her blog too while you're there. Do it!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

H!TITDS Episode #60 - Delirium

Hey look! A new episode! That's right, y'all. This is the second-to-last episode of the year. New shows will be recorded and delivered right to you in January of 2015. But that's the future. What's in the past? Well well well, let me tell you all about it. Jeffrey and I recorded an episode about the freakin' insane giallo, Delirium. Listen right here, please. Be sure to get your fill of those classic Doomed Show episodes:

Dig on the archives, y'all.

Monday, November 3, 2014

The Halloween 2014 Playlist

Here are the movies, Halloween specials, and Halloween TV episodes that my lovely wife and I watched this October.

October 1st

- Rocky Horror Picture Show, Idle Hands

October 2nd

- Halloween Night Frights (Travel Channel), The Worst Witch, Sleepy Hollow

October 3rd

- The Crow, The Vampire Bat, Lawrence Welk "Halloween 1978

October 4th

- Halloweentown, May, Halloween Wars (Food Network)

October 5th

- Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge, Halloweentown High, Halloween Wars (Food Network)

October 6th

- The Dark Hours, The Monitor, Halloween's Scariest Fright Nights (Travel Channel)

October 7th

- Practical Magic, Return to Halloweentown

October 8th

- When Good Ghouls Go Bad, Cursed

October 9th

- Addams Family, Agatha Christie's Poirot "Halloween Party"

October 10th

- Haunted America(?), Bewitched (movie)

October 11th

- SCTV "Zontar", Addams Family Values

October 12th

- The Witches, Mythbusters "Halloween episode", Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

October 13th

- Halloween Wars (Food Network), My Best Friend is a Vampire, Once Bitten

October 14th

- Most Terrifying Places in America (Travel Channel) 2 episodes

October 15th

- Most Terrifying Places in America (Travel Channel), DIY Haunted Houses

October 16th

- Hellboy, The Blair Witch Project

October 17th

- Mad Monster Party, The Corpse Bride

October 18th

- Halloween's Most Extreme (Travel Channel), Martha Stewart Halloween DVD, The Black Cat (Fulci), Lawrence Welk "Halloween 1975"

October 19th

- Beverly Hills 90210 "Halloween", Trick R Treat, Halloween Wars (Food Network)

October 20th

- 7th Heaven "Halloween", Buffy the Vampire Slayer "All the Way", NewsRadio "Halloween", Halloween is Grinch Night, The Halloween Tree, The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, Witch's Night Out, My So Called Life "Halloween", Don't Look Under the Bed

October 21st

- Blade

October 22nd

- The Fog

October 23rd

- Nightmare Before Christmas

October 24th

- Hocus Pocus, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

October 25th

- The Innocents, The Uninvited, The Mummy

October 26th

- Party of Five "Wrestling Demons", Venture Brothers "A Very Venture Halloween", Paranorman, Scary Godmaother

October 27th

- Spooky Treats Unwrapped (Food Network), The Lost Boys

October 28th

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer (movie), Blade II

October 29th

- Hellboy II

October 30th

- Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, Cemetery Man, Buffy the Vampire Slayer two episodes: "Halloween", "Fear Itself"

October 31st

- Sabrina the Teenage Witch 4 episodes, Clueless 2 episodes, Newhart "Take Me to Your Loudon", Pumpkin Carving with Gordy Falk, Garfield's Halloween Adventure, Dracula 2000, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide "Halloween/Vampires, Ghosts, Werewolves, and Zombies", Slumber Party Massacre, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Jem "Trick or Techrat", Angry Beavers Halloween Special, iCarly "Halloween", Night of the Living Dead