Here's a whole mess of my recent reviews! Check 'em out!
What Really Happened to Baby Jane?
Nothing Underneath/Too Beautiful To Die
Showing posts with label Elvira. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elvira. Show all posts
Thursday, April 21, 2022
Friday, September 7, 2012
Gamera, Super Monster
Gamera, Super Monster
AKA Uchu Kaiju Gamera
Directed by Noriaka Yuasa
1980
92 minutes
This film is about... Oh please don't make me think about it. Shit! Okay, fine. Space alien ladies come to Earth for some reason and a little dumbass kid named Keiichi does some stuff and there's an evil space lady and Gamera battles monsters and Keiichi thinks his pet turtle is Gamera or um- FAAAAART!!!! It really doesn't fucking matter.
My wife (because she's awesome) got me another Shout Factory double DVD set of Elvira's Movie Macabre. This time it was Gamera, Super Monster and They Came from Beyond Space. Until I put the disc in, I thought that I had never seen this Gamera film before. But after only a few minutes, the whole mess came flooding back into my brain. This less-than-half-assed garbage had kept me glued to the couch for 2 hours (with commercials) once upon a time. Before we go any further, I am NOT recommending this. Gamera, Super Monster fuckings sucks. Got it? Good. I had to get that out of the way.
What's really interesting is how much I hate stock footage now, especially when a sequel or a film in a series reuses footage from previous entries. Obviously, flashbacks (within reason) are fine but when old footage is presented as new material I get pretty pissed off. However, I think 80 percent (or more) of this film is footage from other Gamera flicks (six according to IMDB). It's unbearably annoying seeing footage from 60s and 70s films cut into a film from 1980. That being said; how did this affect my enjoyment as a kid in the 80s? Not at all. From the Wiki, I know that this episode of Movie Macabre premiered in 1983 but God only knows when I caught it. Either way, my young mind just enjoyed the monster mayhem (and oh yeah, I had a huge crush on Kilara, one of the trio of super space chicks).
You might be wondering how the hell this film fits into anime month. Well, speaking of stock footage, while crapping around in space, Gamera runs into two anime icons and it really blew my mind. First he runs into Space Cruiser Yamato during Keichii's dream and then later, he flies by Galaxy Express 999. Um, what the fuck? Bonus trivia: This film was so poorly received that it bankrupt the studio that produced it and there wasn't another Gamera movie for 15 years. That's also from Wikipedia. It's my new dictionary.
Yeah, I'm checking my watch too.
I swear I didn't Photoshop this shit.
I maybe have been 10 years old but Kilara made me a man.
Yeah, I make this face when she changes costume too.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Maneater of Hydra
Maneater of Hydra
AKA La Isla de la Muerte
Directed by Mel Welles
Released: 1967
Starring Cameron Mitchell, George Martin, Elisa Montés, Rolf von Nauckhoff, Matilde Muñoz Sampedro, Kai Fischer, Hermann Nehlsen
Running Time: 88 minutes
DVD Studio: Shout! Factory
A group of tourists travel to an island to see its exotic botanicals. There they meet Baron von Weser (played by Cameron Mitchell), a reclusive scientist studying rare horticulture and experimenting with crossbreeding dangerous varieties of plants. One of the Baron’s creations is draining the blood of human beings (through a small hole in their cheek) and the tourists are dying one by one.
Mel Welles, the genius behind the inexplicably amazing Lady Frankenstein directs this junky little number. The lame and predictable dialogue is goofily dubbed and the storyline is totally generic monster movie pseudoscientific hokum. The worst scene in the movie features all the characters shouting about who or what is to blame for the recent killings. Most importantly however, Maneater of Hydra has a beautiful mansion, an exotic locale and a windstorm that never seems to let up.
Our cast of characters is headed up by total spazzoid Cameron Mitchell (a man who inspires great love and hatred in me) of Blood and Black Lace and Minnesota Clay. Cora Robertson (Czechoslovakian actress Kai Fischer) is a hot bag of cleavage in heat. The lovely and sweet Beth is played by Elisa Montés who would show up in Jess Franco’s 99 women. The most irritating character is the shrill and terrible Myrtle Callihan who shrieks and complains about everything. Trust me on this one: she should have been the first to die.
While Maneater of Hydra is strictly non-essential viewing (thanks mostly to some dull bits), it’s still a good time for a very boring Sunday afternoon (or a Saturday with a head cold (which is how I viewed it)). The way the creature sucks blood from people is pretty disgusting and the animated opening titles are just splendid. Plus, the climax is quite outrageous and very bloody.
“It looks like a cucumber but it tastes just like meat! Perfectly extraordinary!”
“I’m sorry but you were about to touch my giant… gardenias.”
While this film’s sketchy European origins (both Spain and Germany) are a big draw for me, I just had to get my hands on this DVD due to the presence of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. The presentation on this disc contains Elvira’s original hecklings from her “Movie Macabre” show. I consider it nothing short of a miracle that Shout! Factory DVD has released these amazing pieces of cheesy nostalgia. Even though Maneater of Hydra looks like garbage (full frame and full of scratches), I can’t see how restoration would help this horror dud in any way. Be sure to get the double feature with the excellent Spanish film The House that Screamed on the other disc.
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