Tomoko (Yûko Hamada) and her brother Minoru (Manamitsu Kawabata) are
bad kids! They lie constantly and they cheat everyone they meet. But
that’s okay for their parents, because they taught them how! Mom and
dad, ex-soldier Tokizo Maeda (Yûnosuke Itô) and his wife Yoshino (Hisano
Yamaoka), are a pair of slimeballs that have moved into the apartment
that Tomoko’s lover Shuntaro (Kyû Sazanka) pays for. Joke’s on him
because he thought he would have a little love nest just for he and
Tomoko. [sad trombone]. And that’s just the beginning of Tokizo and
company’s insane schemes of blackmail and chicanery. But has the Maeda
family finally met their match in the form of Minoru’s calculating lover
Yukie (Ayako Wakao)?
Movies about bad people can be tricky. It’s easy to make the viewer
wants to grab a machine gun, jump inside the film, and start blasting
away at the baddies. For me, that film would be The Crucible (1996). But
it’s much better when I actually WANT to spend 90 minutes with the
bastards. I want movie villains to be sexy, charming, or funny and the
ones in director Yûzô Kawashima’s film called Elegant Beast (1962),
manage to be all three; if not all at the same time. Sorry, Yûnosuke
Itô, you’re not one of the sexy ones to me, you’re hot in your own way!
Stagey due to its origins as a stage play, Elegant Beast never feels
stilted. The amount of work that went into making this film as dynamic
and precise as it could be is pretty mind-blowing. This film gives me
the joy of watching master filmmakers at work. For you fans of Japanese
horror out there, writer Kaneto Shindô, who also penned the play this
film was adapted from, would go on to both write and direct two
masterpieces of the genre, Onibaba (1964) and Black Cat (1968).
Cinematographer Nobuo Munekawa does a hero’s job of never letting this
single setting film from ever getting stagnant.
The cast in Elegant Beast is just incredible. Yûnosuke Itô and Hisano
Yamaoka are perfectly cast as the (Demented) Parents of the Year. Their
cardinal rule for the house is simple: We don’t care if you cheat the
world but bring the money home for the family. The way they spend the
opening credit sequence staging their apartment to look poorer than they
are is pure genius. And the ways that they stay one step ahead of
everyone they’re ripping off is a hoot. Yûko Hamada, who I know best
from The Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Witch (1968), is as gorgeous
as she is delightful to watch being oh so bad onscreen.
Elegant Beast is a lovely film about a bunch of assholes who rip off
garbage people (aside from that one poor sap). It’s hard to make the
Maeda’s out to be the villains when everyone in their universe just
sucks! The setting is intentionally drab (a welcome explosion of color
at sunset notwithstanding), but the characters are certainly not. The
mix of neorealism and the surreal makes this clever and darkly humorous
tale a real treat for Japanese arthouse fans. Sadly, Kawashima died at
the age of 45, and we can only imagine what more great films might have
come from this incredibly talented director.
For Halloween this year, I really wanted to get my old school horror movie mojo going by looking at as many of the Universal monster movies as I could. What better way to start then by watching a film that I haven't seen since I was in my early teens. I've spent more time reading about Dracula (1931) than I have watching it. So yeah, 25 (or more) years ago, I thought the original Dracula was boring and awkward. Kids. What can ya do? I do remember thinking that it was really important to watch this and other classics as a burgeoning horror kid.
The first thing that blows my mind are things that I definitely was never consciously aware of as a kid like the production design. Man oh man, the matte paintings are fantastic. They give everything the feel of an alien landscape especially now that everything these days is done with CGI. Will people in the future look back on our cinema and find our bad techno-trickery all charming and shit? As for the sets, wow just wow. Obviously, camera tricks were the CGI of their day and of course, filmmakers from then would have used computers to make their vision end up on the screen. But these quaint and obviously hand-crafted touches make me so happy and I don't mean that in a condescending way (at least I don't think I do).
Okay, what is with the bug? So when Dracula and his lady Draculas are getting out of their coffins, there's some crazy shit going on. First of all, there's a possum. I found this very amusing because I live in Florida and the dang things are everywhere. Then I remember that Todd Browning was from Kentucky so that means he knew that they will appear exotic to the rest of the world. Maybe. I don't know where I was going with that. Anyway, the bug. So we see everyone getting out of their coffins and then there's a shot of a bug climbing out of his/her coffin -a tiny coffin? Or was that supposed to be a human sized coffin with a giant bug in it? My pal Nafa just suggested that the bug may be one of the wives other forms. I like that idea. There's also some armadillos which made me shake my head when they were chillin' in the crypt. They're pretty friggin' adorable.
The next thing that I really adore now -more than I could have ever anticipated as a young lad- are the smoke machines pumping a metric ton of atmosphere into this bad-boy. They give all the mist, fog, smoke, smog, haze, etc. that just makes me giddy in my current state of fandom. When Renfield shows up to switch carriages, the smoke looks like it was absolutely choking everyone on the set. Even though this scene is supposed to be outdoors, it's so claustrophobic that it made me frickin' nervous.
The vampire wives skulking around in the aforementioned mist is something I remember VERY DISTINCTLY. In fact, when they leave the movie (???), I remember just checking out for the most part. I thought they were so slinky and sexy that my brain never made the connection as to how dangerous these characters are. Has that attitude changed for me? Hell no, it hasn't. I'm still like "Ladies, I know I'm not Bela but hey I'm kinda pale. What are my chances?" Come to think of it, all of the women in this movie are just stunning. The ones that are stricken with ye olde vampire syndrome are just made up and photographed so perfectly that I just can't them out of my head.
This will come as a surprise to very few people (or no one at all) but my old complaining for years at how slow and silly this film is have melted away. While it's true that a few lines of dialogue and especially some of the over-the-top delivery still make me chuckle, I adore this cast. Whenever Dwight Frye as Renfield comes cackling into frame, I just want to high five whoever is sitting closest to me (which is my wife LeEtta, naturally). If I try to imagine audiences in 1931 seeing this film for the first time, I have to assume that his scuttling across the floor to go after the exposed neck of the maid must have scared the living shit out of people.
As for the pacing, I was never bored for a second during this viewing. There's just so much going on here that I have to wonder why the hell I don't watch this more often. I thought my attention span was getting worse not better! One of the big blind-spots in my horror fandom is for the 1930s. I swear I'm getting better about this era.
The almost total lack of a music score is certainly something. I really don't know how I feel about it. The opening music is perfect and the bit at the opera house works great. I'm not saying there should have been wall to wall music but yeah, I think the minimal score might be something that alienates people from this version. I like it because it does something funny to my brain that probably wasn't intentional at all. Has anyone taken the score from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr. and used it on Dracula? I think that should be a thing. Did Philip Glass do the score for any of the Ace Ventura movies? Speaking of blind-spots, I absolutely have a block about the silent era of horror. I'll probably need more time for that. Don't give up on me just yet.
The darkness of the shadows and the suffocating nature of the nighttime scenes are almost too much for my tiny mind to take. So much mood is communicated with the simplest of things. When Dracula attacks the flower girl, holy crap! While I should probably be ashamed that I had such a low opinion of this film for so long, I'm very happy to have finally come around to it. Ladies and gentlemen, I love Todd Browning's Dracula! I can practically hear your eyes rolling but this is a big deal for me. Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble again. It's been a while. The shadows are where I'll be if you need me.
The Vampire Bat
Directed by Frank Strayer
1933
Lionel Atwill, Fay Wray, Melvyn Douglas, Maude Eburne, Dwight Frye
63 minutes
Someone or something has been draining people of blood in a small German village. The village council and its Bürgermeister (played by Lionel Belmore) are convinced that there is something supernatural at foot including but not limited to vampires and giant vampire bats. Karl, the police inspector (Melvyn Douglas), is skeptical and laughs at such impossibly superstitious suggestions. All he wants to do is catch the criminal behind the murders. His love interest is Ruth Bertin (Fay Wray), assistant to local doctor/scientist, Dr. Otto von Niemann. They try to get intimate during every moment alone they can steal but Aunt Gussie (Maude Eburne) is always cockblocking. Things get even more tense in the village when local nutbar Herman (Dwight Frye) is seen behaving strangely and befriending bats.
SPOILERS:
Of course, Herman is totally innocent. His only crime is being a frickin' weirdo and all that necrophilia (not actually in this movie, I was just seeing if you were paying attention). While the ignorant townsfolk are busy murdering Herman, the mastermind behind all of this blood-draining madness, Dr. Otto, is free to continue his quest for blood. He needs the blood to feed his creation: a pulsating heart that he has created himself. Small town doctor just wasn't good enough for this guy, he just had to go for mad scientist status. Niemann has hypnotized one of his assistants, Emil (Robert Frazer), into running around town, acquiring blood for him. Shit gets real when Ruth eavesdrops on him giving orders to Emil who is out on the prowl for Karl's blood.
END OF SPOILERS
What a revelation The Vampire Bat was! Full disclosure: I am very negligent when it comes to horror films pre-1950. It's not just horror, I am a tad impatient with any film that old from any genre. I'm just impatient with the golden oldies but I'm trying to get better. Every time that I stop being a wuss and check out something like, oh let's say, The Mummy (1932), and I am kicking myself in the dick for not watching it sooner. Why was I more open-minded as a kid? So ANYWAY, I should probably talk about The Vampire Bat.
Melvyn Douglas is amazing. His character, Karl, doles out some seriously unthinkable sarcasm. Every line he utters in that first scene with the village council is just ludicrously acerbic. Fay Wray is instantly likeable onscreen and is incredibly cute. I liked Lionel Atwill quite a bit but man oh man, the screen is stolen by Dwight Frye. This guy is just electric as Herman, the town crazy doomed to be misunderstood and ultimately destroyed by dumb motherfuckers. He brought a smile to my face from his first lines and I was super bummed out when his character meets his end.
One thing this movie has is some "comic relief" in the form of Aunt Gussie. Think of Una O'Connor in Bride of Frankenstein only fucking stupider or more dumb. I don't know who's aunt she is but man oh man, she doesn't die quick enough for me. Also, she doesn't die in the movie so yeah, NOT QUICK ENOUGH! This jackass is a hypochondriac of the highest order and she only seems to like hanging out with Dr. Niemann and Ruth in case she needs some meds. The more I write about her, the more my hatred grows.
I am glad that my self-imposed ignorance of old movies is finally paying off in that I have decades of old horror films to catch up on. My incorrect perception of horror films, especially from the 1930s was that they were clunky in dialog and plotting (which they totally are but I totally dig now (totally)) and stuffy (which they usually aren't). The camera is suprisingly fluid in this film. Some dolly shots combined with clever cutting make for some excellent sequences that are really eye-opening given this film is over 80 years old. There is lots of spooky atmospherics to be found in this picture that horror fans will eat up plus the pseudoscience and the weirdness will make you nod knowingly or smile like a dang hyena (or maybe that's just me). Highly recommended if you haven't seen this one already (but your probably already have).
"Well, I don't mind admitting that I'm up a tree. Stumped!"
It has been a long and crazy road over the last 2 years but Brad and I have held it together (sort of). For our 2 year anniversary show, we talk about Lady Frankenstein starring Rosalba Neri. We also talk about our favorite non-horror directors and some favorite non-horror movies. Fun fun fun fun fun fun funn f ufn fufnf ufndf udnf dufdn fudfndf jkal024 09090.
Hey gang! It's Halloween. Deal with it. One of my favorite Halloween-themed indie horror films of all time, Freaky Farley is on Youtube, in its entirety! Check it out! What is Freaky Farley, you say? Damn yo, you need to read my review. Read it out!.
Speaking of game-changing anime titles, Evangelion rocked my world when I first saw it back in 1999. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't totally consensual. If you have a heart, this show (and the theatrical films) will emotionally rape you. I remember watching this with my girlfriend at the time, being depressed for a week afterward, and loving every minute of it. This show made me a lifelong fan of it's production company, Gainax. Whatever they have up their sleeves, you can be sure I'll check it out.
A decade after mankind was nearly wiped out in a huge cataclysm, three teenagers, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei, are chosen to pilot the Evas, giant robots that have been built to protect the Earth from monsters (nicknamed Angels) that fall from the sky. For unknown reasons, these Angels are bent on destroying NERV, a corporation run by Shinji's father, Gendo Ikari. Battle after battle ensue as the Angels become smarter and more adept in their attacks. It is up to Captain Misato Katsuragi to train these kids to fight but at what cost? With the world on the brink at every turn, these questions remain: What are these creatures exactly and what are their intentions? Is the destruction of the human race really their only mission? What horrible secrets are lurking in the bowels of the NERV corporation's giant underground fortress?
Sounds a little generic, right? Sounds like a thousand other giant robot shows? Well, let me tell you something, this ain't your ordinary mecha-melodrama. This show takes high octane, high stakes action and blends it (to be fair, not always seamlessly) with psychoanalysis and religion. Evangelion is really, really smart. It is also populated by well written characters that you actually care about. It is also a gory spectacle with lots of disturbing imagery and more than a few jaw-dropping surprises throughout its run.
Now when I recommend this one, I am not fucking around. You need to see all 26 episodes of the original series and both theatrical films: Death & Rebirth and The End of Evangelion. If you survive that then check out the newly revamped and retold Rebuild of Evangelion films which expands the story (but I feel like they don't really stand on their own; but I might be wrong, there are still 2 more full length films that haven't come out yet). So yeah, if you haven't seen this show, check it out. If you have and didn't like it, give it another go. Evangelion is a richly rewarding experience.
If one man encompasses what it means to be a master of anime
then that man is Hayao Miyazaki. Here are my thoughts on the directorial
efforts of his that I have seen.
The Castle of Cagliostro
The Castle of Cagliostro is easily in my top 5 favorite
animated features of all time. Very few films balance breathtaking adventure,
slapstick comedy, and mystery as well as this one does. Even if you’re not
familiar with Lupin and his buddies, you will very likely dig on this movie the
moment it begins. This is also one of the best loved and most influential anime
features of all time and it is easy to see why. Even on a pan and scan VHS, I
loved the hell out of Castle. Ultra-highly recommended even for the casual
viewer not well versed in the world of anime.
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Wow. Just wow. Despite everything by Miyazaki I’ve seen,
nothing compares to the sheer awesomeness of Nausicaa. This post-apocalyptic fantasy
came to me by way of a bootleg VHS and my life has never been the same since.
Nausicaa is haunting, sad, and very entertaining even in its heavier, Earth Day
message-laden moments. This came out in 1984 but it feels much older somehow.
The animation and direction are masterfully done. This is easily my favorite of
Miyazaki’s films. Essential.
Laputa: Castle in the Sky
I have seen Laputa two or three times now and it has barely
managed to hold my attention with each viewing. I’m not sure what I’m missing.
The action is good and the characters seem interesting but somehow this film
never comes together for me. That being said, I will happily give it another
shot, maybe it’ll click.
My Neighbor Totoro
If this wonderful children’s film doesn’t melt your heart,
you ain’t got one, darn it. Totoro is one of the sweetest and strangest films
targeted at kids that I’ve ever seen. While I’m not really in the mood for a
film like this very often, I feel like I am a better person having seen it.
Kiki’s Delivery Service
And here is yet another kid’s film from Miyazaki. Kiki’s
Delivery Service is an excellent rainy day movie to lift your spirits. I was
very skeptical going into this film (especially with the lame opening song in
the English dub) but it delivers on the fun and the surprising amount of tension
in the silly magical goings on. Don’t eat so many pancakes.
Porco Rosso
This could very well be one of the most original animated
films ever. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Porco Rosso is an adventure
film of the highest order with lots of comedy and straight-faced weirdness. This
one isn’t essential but it is definitely worth checking out if you are on a
Miyazaki kick.
Princess Mononoke
If you were looking for a thematic follow-up to Nausicaa,
then look no further. Princess Mononoke became my most anticipated film in
1999. My girlfriend at the time had acquired a bootleg of this film but I was
so excited at the possibility of a US theatrical release that I refused to
watch it. Luckily, this film did indeed get a theatrical release and I was
there to see it on the big screen. Even with the so-so English dub (I have to
go with the Japanese on this one), the experience was electrifying. Shit, just
thinking about this film makes me want to watch it again.
Spirited Away
This kid’s film has a secret: it scares kids! I caught
Spirited Away in theaters in 2002 and was instantly swept up in the
supernatural oddness. Even with a less than rudimentary knowledge of Japanese
superstitions and folklore, I was still caught completely off guard by how
wacko this film is. I came out of the theater with a spring in my step and
creepy spirits in the corners of my mind.
Howl’s Moving Castle
For some dumbass reason, I avoided Howl’s Moving Castle for
as long as possible. The trailers just made it look like it was going to be really
bad to me. And while it may never be one of my favorites, this film has grown
on me. If you happen to be a fan of book (I’ve never read it), don’t be put off
by how different HMC is from the source material because I think you’ll be in
for a treat.
Ponyo
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when Ponyo came to
theaters in the summer of 2009. Obviously, it looked like a kid’s film and it
most certainly is. However, there is so much magic and so much wonder in this
freaky movie that anyone could dig on it if they gave it have a chance. Oh and drug users should watch this. Somewhere
during all the underwater trippy insanity, I looked over at my wife and
whispered, “This is such a good drug movie.” I have mentioned it before on this
blog but the Ponyo rap song at the end of the English version made everyone run
out of the theater before the credits had barely even started. Hilarious.
Serial Experiments Lain
Directed by Ryutaro Nakamura
Written by Chiaki Konaka
1998
325 minutes (13 episodes)
Lain Iwakura is totally not your average schoolgirl. She is a space cadet (not literally) and she knows nothing about computers. She is the charity case of some school chums; Alice, Reika, and Julie are always trying to get Lain out of her shell. Things get weird when another of her friends at school named Chisa sends Lain an email. I know what you're thinking: "Like OMG, Lain? How does she have friends? She is such a weirdo!" No, that's not the weird thing. The weird thing is that Chisa has been dead for a week (she took a header off a very tall building) and is claiming that her soul now resides on The Wired (AKA The Internet). Lain finds this intriguing and decides to look into this whole "computer thing".
Speaking of fucked up home lives, Lain's is a real doozy. Her father is a workaholic computer engineer who only pays attention to Lain when she starts showing interest in updating her Navi (AKA personal computer). Her mother is an emotional iceberg. Hell, they both might be robots. And lastly, Lain's sister Mika is a total beyatch so I guess she's the only normal one. Well, "normal" until she is replaced by a gibbering doppelganger but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Lain takes to The Wired like a middle aged pervert with a video camera at an anime convention. She immediately discovers her true self online: a totally badass hacker who doesn't take shit from anybody. The more time she spends on the computer, the stranger her world becomes. Weird "Men in Black" type duders start following her around, someone on The Wired begins impersonating Lain for nefarious purposes, she meets a presence online that claims to be God, and she even witnesses a shooting at the local nightclub, Cyberia. Get it? Cyberia!
Back in 2000, when I first saw Serial Experiments Lain, this show was quite a gamechanger. I had never seen anything this cerebral or unsettling in anime before. It takes techno-horror to a whole other level with huge doses of paranoia and depressing themes. Subjects like religion, drugs, video games, sex, aliens, the alienation of modern life, and people's fear of computers are done very well here in horrifying, surreal, and hallucinatory ways.
My only complaints about the show are that it is a little talky (more ideas than action), the technology in the plot is getting a little dated, and there were obviously some budgetary constraints since there are some reused and re-purposed shots throughout the later episodes. The English dub is kind of corny in spots but over the years, I've gotten so used to it that it doesn't bother me much. Flip it over the J-dub if it bugs ya. Either way, Serial Experiments Lain is definitely worth checking out.
Ghost in the Shell
Directed by Mamoru Oshii
1995
83 minutes
Hi there. I guess I should start with off my month of anime with something overdone and over-analyzed to the point where it becomes generic. Ghost in the Shell is one of those titles that really is as fucking good as everyone says it is. I first saw this film in a packed theater in Palm Beach back in 1996. It didn't matter to me that the place was a ratty dump with uncomfortable seats because I was seeing something totally new. This was an unprecedented moment in my life. It was the first time that I was seeing quality anime on the big screen*. If my being an anime nerd wasn't already carved in stone at that point then that night is the chisel and the mallet that made it happen.
There are masterpieces and there are masterpieces and then there is Ghost in the Shell. This ultra-violent spectacle has a Blade Runner boner and it doesn't skimp on the atmosphere at all. The animation is top notch with great attention lavished on lighting and shadows. Kenji Kawai's score is haunting. The guy scored Ringu and over a hundred other kickass films so yeah; you're in expert hands here. The only misstep I can find in this flick is the writing. There's a lot of cheese and techno-babble info-dumping in the dialog but you probably won't care. I know I don't!
One of the most astonishing things about this film is how it slows down and chills. When there is a moment where we can just pause and appreciate the beauty of a world overrun by technology, Ghost in the Shell never wastes it. In another film, these quiet moments might be filler or time-wasting animator showoff nonsense but this isn't over 2 hours; it's a lean 83 minutes. There are even long, philosophical conversations between cyborgs about what it means to be (formerly) human! Director Oshii had already done a brilliant job with Patlabor 2, a gorgeous mecha movie that clocks in at 113 minutes. That 1993 effort is a fine film (that I hope to be covering this month) but it pales in comparison to this. Mad props to veteran editor Shuichi Kakesu for knowing where to trim and where to just let it ride.
Something that is a recurring phenomenon in anime of from this part of the decade is the daft English dubbing. Right now, I feel that voice actors who dub anime are a fairly respectable lot. Since anime is such a big industry, it seems to foster talented people and great performances. Well, Ghost in the Shell came out in 1995 which means the dubbing is going to be a crap shoot (emphasis on the crap). To be fair there are a few excellent voice actors in this movie and the rest are either directed to be hammy or are just overacting because no one told them to cut that shit out. How much of this is just corny dialog in the script and folks just trying to make the best of it? Honestly, I don't know.
I'm thinking that a lot of the technology and ideas expressed in this movie will seem trite or old fashioned one day (or maybe they they feel that way now) but the care and artistic flourishes in every minute of this film will never go out of style. For folks who have trouble getting into anime, Ghost in the Shell is an excellent place to start. I also recommend the TV series Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. It is a solid show and very entertaining.
As a final note, I just noticed that instead of making something new and awesome, Mamoru Oshii decided to make Ghost in the Shell 2.0 with some CG moments and flourishes. This version is terrible and pretty much an abomination of the saddest variety. The CG is extremely invasive and the transitions between the original film and the new animation are jarring. Avoid it at all costs.
*Ah ha! I just caught myself falsely remembering Ghost in the Shell as the first anime I ever saw on the big screen but that is not true. Technically, the first anime I saw on the big screen was Transformers: The Movie but that was an American-Korean-Japanese co-production so it kind of doesn't count. Anyway, the first real anime I ever saw (at that very same shithole theater) was Wicked City (the original anime (not the far superior live action HK classic)) with a baffled and uncomfortable crowd a few years earlier.
What's that saying? A Jose in time saves nine. Oh yeah. Anyway, for this new Bradless episode of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Jose Cruz joins me to discuss two anthology films at length. This is a spoiler enriched episode so make sure you've seen both the original Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror before you check out the episode. Listen to it or download it right here. And don't be frettin' yo, Brad will be back.
Don't forget to check out the episode archives if you haven't already!
The Angry Red Planet Directed by Ib Melchior Released: 1959 Starring Gerald Mohr, Laura Hayden, Jack Kruschen, Les Tremayne Running Time: 83 minutes DVD Studio: MGM
The MR-1, a missing rocket on a mission to the planet Mars, suddenly shows up in Earth's orbit. The military manages to land the rocket safely but it is discovered that only two of the mission's crew have survived their journey. One survivor is Colonel Tom Obannion (played by Gerald Mohr) who is suffering from an unidentifiable space infection. The other is Dr. Iris Ryan (Laura Hayden) but she is in shock from her experiences and cannot immediately relate her experiences. When Iris is ready to talk, we see what occurred on their mission to Mars.
I feel like I'm hijacking someone else's memories. I am not a child of the 1950s so why is Angry Red Planet part of my childhood? The fact is that this schlocky silliness has several great things going for it. The writing is stupid and the performances from the actors are hilarious. However, this film has atmosphere. One wouldn't think that something this cheesy and almost totally devoid of brains would be almost impossible to forget on a visual level. When the team finally gets out of the friggin' ship, they step onto an eerily silent, strangely lit planet brought to life with drawn backdrops and crazy filters.
Okay, The Angry Red Planet does have one major flaw and this is a problem for most sci-fi films of its era. This film takes forever to get to the good stuff. The cornball crap that happens can only distract a viewer for so long. It becomes all too clear that there isn't a whole lot to this movie. It is weird in the way, the story is related in flashback. At first Iris can't talk about what happened then the doctor recommends trying "narco-synthesis" to jog her memory. They go on to say that the story she'll tell won't be what actually happened. It will be distorted by her own memories. What? No, seriously. WHAT? I have no idea where the writers were going with that one.
I stumbled upon The Angry Red Planet sometime in the 80s. It captured my interest despite its slow start and stock footage. (My attention span used to be a whole lot more resilient to this type of junk.) For my kid self, the weird-looking scenes on the surface of Mars were almost unbearably tense. The stylized backdrops of the alien city look like something straight out of a comic book. And who can forget that insane monster? It's a cartoony bat with spider legs! Years later, I would see that very creature on a Misfits album cover.
"You know what I think? That thing up there... it's a flying coffin."
Jigoku AKA Hell,The Sinners of Hell Directed by Nobuo Nakagawa Released: 1960 Starring Shigeru Amachi, Utako Mitsuya, Yochi Numata, Hiroshi Hayashi, Jun Otomo Running Time: 101 minutes Country of Origin: Japan
[There are some minor spoilers in this review that I don't believe will affect your enjoyment of this film. Honestly, I’d rather you go into this one completely blind and experience it for yourself. But hey, I’m a blogger! I got kids to feed? Wait. Who do I work for? Could it be… SATAN!??!! It’s not Satan. Satan isn’t this cruel.]
Shiro Shimizu (played by Shigeru Amachi) has got some real problems. While hanging out with his “friend” Tamura (Yoichi Numata) one night, he takes part in the hit and run of a gangster. This gangster’s mother (Kiyoko Tsuji) witnesses the crime and vows her revenge on both Tamura and Shiro (even though he wasn’t driving) with the aid of her son’s girlfriend Yoko (Akiko Ono). As if this weren’t bad enough, Shiro’s fiancée Yokiko (Utako Mitsuya) is killed in a taxi accident the night she was going to tell him something very important. While falling into Yoko and the gangster’s mom’s trap and shunned by his future in-laws, Shiro gets a letter from home that his mother is dying.
While his mother (played by Kimi Tokudaiji) lay dying in a cheap and corrupt rest home, Shiro’s father (Hiroshi Hayashi) is living in the next room with his mistress. Shiro meets Sachiko (Akiko Ono again), a girl who reminds him an awful lot of his dead fiancée and who he immediately has a crush on. She lives at the rest home with her drunken artist father who sells his paintings of hell to get by. Tamura shows up in town to cause more trouble for Shiro as does Yoko and the gangster’s mom. Someone serves some bad fish at the rest home’s tenth anniversary (plus there’s a bottle of poison sake going around) and next thing you know, pretty much every single character we’ve met up to this point goes straight to freakin’ hell.
But wait, there’s more! Now in hell, Shiro discovers some disturbing revelations about his family and is forced to face all of his earthly sins. Oh and Enma, the king of hell, is going to get his money’s worth torturing him for all eternity. In the underworld, Yoko reveals to Shiro that she was going to tell him she was pregnant the night she died and that their unborn child is trapped somewhere in hell. Our whiny miserable “hero” decides to get his shit together and go rescue their child so that she won’t suffer along with all the lost souls who totally deserve to be there. But will this young man’s will be enough to challenge the will of the king of hell? Wait, why is Sachiko in hell? She’s a nice girl? Oh man, why is there a river of pus and excrement? That’s just nasty! These questions and many more are answered in Jigoku!
What’s the most fun you could ever have going to hell? With legendary wacko director Nobuo Nakagawa’s 1960 film, Jigoku, you silly! The cacophonous and sensual opening credit sequence alone is enough to make this one of the strangest film about H-E-double hockey sticks. Jigoku is as much about the tortures of hell as it is about guilt and what spectacular failures human beings are. There’s also melodrama so overwrought and irony so ironic it’s almost too ironic for me to even be talking about it. Either way, I bet you haven’t seen anything quite like this before.
I’ve rarely enjoyed a movie that was this hard to sit through. Its two sections, the earthly plane and the world of hell, are both filled with agony and misery. The second half just has more screaming. The feeling of dread is excruciating as everything just keeps spinning out of control. Lives are wrecked and people just keep making stupid ass choices that land their butts on the griddle. The tortures awaiting them, though cheesily staged, are brutal. There’s a demon whose job it is to smash yer dang teeth in. Hey, it’s a living! The compositions by cinematographer Mamoru Morita are striking and the film’s wild score by the prolific Michiaki Watanbe is simply mind-blowing.
All of the actors are totally devoted to this piece of insanity. You know you’ve got an excellent cast when the viewer is willing to die and go to hell with them. And it takes a great actor to make an unpleasant character into a fascinating portrait and that is just what Shigeru Amachi does with Shiro. The funniest aspect of this character is how he is a magnet for women. Yukiko, Yoko, Sachiko, and even his father’s mistress, all go for this friggin’ guy.
However, for me, the shining star of Jigoku is Yoichi Numata (of Ringu). I think it was around the second time that Tamura materialized out of thin air that I realized this character had a little more up his sleeve than just a sleazy prankster. It is quite clear that this roguish gentleman is a catalyst for a sin, a mad soul from hell on an unholy mission, a total dickweed trying to make everyone suffer as much as he, etc. Numata’s performance is wildly over-the-top, spastic, and totally perfect.
Is Jigoku a classic film? Oh yeah. Is it also shrill as hell (really, duder, like "hell"?) and a little (read as: a lot) exasperating during some of its running time? Mm-hm. It’s a fairly obvious art movie that is trying to hide behind its tawdry tapestry of misery and horror. I urge you to watch this film as soon as you can but I must warn you: You will go to hell and your screams of perpetual torment will go unnoticed in the chaotic din of eternity. Bring your friends! Jigoku is a great date movie as well. But you're not getting laid after it's over.
Kuroneko AKA Black Cat, Yabu no Naka no Kuroneko Directed by Kaneto Shindo Released: 1968 Starring Kichiemon Nakamura, Nobuko Otowa, Kiwako Tochi, Kei Sato Running Time: 99 minutes County of Origin: Japan
A gang of battle-hardened and starving samurai invade the home of Yone (played by Noboku Otowa) and her daughter-in-law Shige (Kiwako Tochi). The two are raped, murdered, and their house is set on fire. The two sell their souls to a black cat to gain supernatural powers so that they can get revenge on the samurai. Yone’s son, Gintoki (Kichiemon Nakamura), returns home from the war to find his wife and mother missing and their home burned to the ground. Gintoki’s boss, Raiko (Kei Sato), a powerful general, informs him that a number of samurai have had their throats torn out in the woods and he wants him to investigate.
Okay, what idiot let this film slip into obscurity? Why isn’t Kuroneko part of the Criterion Collection? Hello? Anybody? Kaneto Shindo’s masterpiece rivals his own classic, Onibaba. Kuroneko is a tragic, dreamlike, haunting, and near-perfect film full of quiet tension and bursts of beautiful madness. The sound design, the music score (a hypnotic mix of bold percussion and minimal strings), and the cinematography are all razor sharp. All of the actors are superb and turn in flawless performances.
My only criticisms are pretty nitpicky. I think the film might be too dreamlike. Out of the three times I’ve watched Kuroneko, I’ve managed to dose off twice. The plot is insanely simple so it’s not like I woke up and didn’t know what was going on. This is a sensual and eerie film filled with quiet moments that come packed with loads of foreboding. I suppose the other problem is the melodrama between Gintako and Shige and then later between Gintako and his mother. But honestly, it’s like Shakespearean quality stuff so I’m not really complaining.
The film’s black and white cinematography and kabuki theatre style direction and staging make this film feel older than it is. You might find yourself thinking that this film feels like it was made in 1938 instead of 1968 but there is always some bizarre visual just around the corner to grab you and shake you down to your core. One of the eye-opening moments in the film is when Shige is making love to a samurai and then, out of nowhere, she digs into his throat like a Shriner digs into the taco meat at Golden Corral. It is startling and it really snaps you out of the trance-like and deceptively soothing scene that has been unfurling before you.
I first watched Kuroneko on an old and beaten up VHS I checked out from the library. I loved it. Several years later, I was overjoyed when I noticed that IFC was playing it one night because I was able to replace my grubby copy with a better one from the broadcast. However, I have to say that this film not being remastered and treated with some respect is fucking bullshit. The Region 2 DVD looks pretty good but come on, it is probably going to be out of print soon. I live in America and I will not tolerate films not being available in my region!
It's Saturday, ladies and gentlemen, and Aaron from The Death Rattle has dropped by to talk about a damn great film.
Directed by Masaki Kobayashi.
KWAIDAN is a movie that doesn't really come up in conversations when people talk about horror anthology films in general, let alone the greatest ones of all time. I first heard about this movie in, of all places, an old issue of Revolver Magazine in which Faith No More vocalist Mike Patton talked about his five favorite horror movie soundtracks of all-time. I couldn't track down the old article with Patton talking about the score, but found an excerpt from another interview: "My favorite fact about this one is that the special electronic effects created for this score are large chunks of wood being broken. Very elegant score…"
Well the soundtrack has nothing to do with my review, but the fact that Patton endorses it does earn the film bonus points. KWAIDAN isn't presented in a manner typical of horror anthology films, meaning there is no horror host, nor is the film book-ended by anything that ties each segment together, but the film is comprised of four individual stories that all share the common theme of ghosts and the paranormal. All four segments are based on stories by author Lafciado Hearn, as well as Japanese folklore. The first segment, THE BLACK HAIR, is about a young, poverty-stricken samurai who abandons his loving wife in order to marry into a rich family. Miserable in his new relationship, he feels regret and returns home years later to make amends with his former wife. To say anymore would be spoiling it, although plenty of sites do give away the twist, so be careful when doing research.
The second segment, THE WOMAN OF THE SNOW, is about a working-class man who encounters a ghostly woman one night in the woods during a snow storm. The titular "woman of the snow", who bears a frightening appearance, warns the man not to ever speak of her existence. Should he ever break his silence, she vows to pay him a visit which will most likely result in his imminent death. Both THE BLACK HAIR and WOMAN OF THE SNOW are genuinely creepy segments, especially the former.
The third segment, HOICHI, THE EARLESS, is about a young blind man who is visited by the ghost of an ancient samurai one night. The samurai requests that the young man, Hoichi, use his talent of reciting the story of an ancient battle through song and give a presentation to his emperor. Hoichi obliges and eventually strikes up a relationship with the spirits of those who have perished in the war which he's singing about. Comforted by Hoichi's singing, the ghosts become possessive of him, which comes into play when those around Hoichi realize he's communicating with spirits and attempt to put an end to it. HOICHI, THE EARLESS is easily the most visually-striking of the bunch, and it's also the longest. I have to admit, though, that it's length and pacing made me tune out and began to lose me a little.
The fourth segment, IN A CUP OF TEA, is the shortest of the bunch, and it's about a samurai who is able to see ghosts in the reflection of his tea. The ghosts eventually make their presence known and haunt the samurai, driving him to insanity. By the time IN A CUP OF TEA begins, the film is already beyond the two-hour mark. It reminded me a lot, as far as its placement in the sequence of stories, of the cockroach segment from CREEPSHOW. In other words, it really didn't add anything to the film, and I think the overall product would be better without it. It's a short, effective segment, but it's on a much smaller scale than any of the other segments and it did feel slightly tacked on and unnecessary, thus making it feel out of place. However, despite that, it still worked.
Overall, KWAIDAN is a masterfully-filmed and visually-stunning atmospheric Japanese horror movie that, unfortunately, is slightly hurt by its sluggish pacing and length. Sure, the pacing is purposely slow in order to build tension and anticipation, but it could also result in the viewer losing interest should it fail to really grab their attention at the right moment. Those who appreciate older Japanese genre films that utilize elements of theater and expressionism, as well as those who appreciate a good ghost story that relies more on atmosphere rather than jump scares or a plot twist, will no doubt be very impressed with the gorgeous visuals and well-executed cautionary tales of KWAIDAN.
I’m going to spoil some things but then again, when do I not?
If it wasn’t for the inferior sequel, I might never have checked out What’s New Pussycat? One night Turner Classic Movies played Pussycat, Pussycat, I Love You and I was entranced. Of course, it was too late to tape the damn thing but at least it was a cheap ticket to Rome for the evening. But I’ll get to that later. When I finally sat down to watch the 1965 sex comedy, my mind was pretty much ripped apart and destroyed by how strangely perfect and flawed of a filmic experience I had just… experienced. Originally intended as a semi-autobiographical Warren Beatty vehicle (my mind is destroyed once again), this film is fucking owned by its stars Peter O’Toole, Peter Sellers, and Woody Allen (who wrote the screenplay (and who was apparently instrumental in forcing out Warren Beatty)).
Peter O’Toole plays Michael James, a fashion magazine editor, womanizer, and drunkard who is finally ready to settle down with his girlfriend Carol, played by the effervescent Romy Schneider. The problem is, of course, Michael is irresistible to women and they seem to be everywhere he turns, throwing themselves at him. His inability to control himself has made women a real problem for him, so Michael goes to a therapist named Dr. Fritz Fassbender (Peter Sellers). Dr. Fassbender is a rampageous sex maniac who does all he can to avoid his behemoth wife (Eddra Gale) AKA “the Creature That Ate Europe” while chasing the women who are chasing Michael. To further complicate matters, Michael’s friend Victor (Woody Allen), a painter, is also in love with Carol and is making his moves on her as well.
Carol finds herself competing with two women for Michael’s affections. First, there’s Liz (Paula Prentiss), a stripper poet who commits suicide every day for attention, and then there’s Renée (Capucine), a married nymphomaniac who is in Dr. Fassbender’s therapy group. When Michael finally decides to get serious (and I mean like really serious) about Carol, he proposes that they get married ASAP. Carol chooses Monday (big mistake) and Michael ends up at Chateau Chantal in the countryside for the weekend where (mostly by chance), all of his beautiful ladies converge to spoil his chances at a real relationship. In fact, nearly every character in the movie converges on Chateau Chantal and all hell breaks loose. Michael’s problems with women keep multiplying. Heck, they even start dropping out of the sky in the form of Ursula Andress.
“As a man’s life goes down the drain. You are there.”
There’s so much to love about What’s New Pussycat? and only a little to be confused or hurt by. Other than Romy Schneider’s character, women look like dumb idiot basket cases. Peter Sellers and Peter O’Toole’s rakish behavior is um… charming. No, that’s not the word. Disturbing! That’s it. Obviously, if you don’t take this junk seriously and just roll your eyes at the nonsense, there is some serious fun to be had here. Woody Allen (someone who I am not a fan of) wanted to make a Marx Brothers’ style movie and he did a pretty great job accomplishing just that. Everyone takes part in the one liners, the physical comedy, and the manic energy of it all so what’s not to love?
"What in the name of all that's gracious is a semi-virgin?"
Capucine, Romy Schneider, and Ursula Andress make for a dizzyingly gorgeous trio but it’s Paula Prentiss that has stolen my heart. While I don’t really like Liz all that much, Prentiss is undeniably stunning and a hot magnet for my metal eyes. My whole Prentiss thing started with her in The Stepford Wives. My mind was just swimming with Paula after that movie and she’s had her hooks in me ever since. As for comedic talent, Capucine wins out with the ridiculousness of Renée, an upper class lady with an insatiable sex drive. German actress Katrin Schaake is quite adorable as Victor’s love interest once he gives up on Carol. Hint hint, she has a thing for sports cars.
One interesting casting choice that I can’t get over is Jess Franco regular Howard Vernon (She Killed in Ecstacy) as the doctor who is called in to repeatedly treat Liz after each of her suicide attempts. The guy is just such a great presence on camera and he is especially funny while trying to keep his hot nurse (played by Sabine Sun) away from Michael. There’s a blatantly obvious cameo in the film by Richard Burton that is sooooo cheesy but kinda fantastic (“Don’t you know me from someplace?”). Somehow, Howard Vernon is more important to me.
“When the light hits him in a certain way, he’s almost handsome.”
Sellers and O’Toole (and even (to a lesser extent) Allen) compete for the viewers’ attention and for me, O’Toole wins out big time. The guy is on fucking fire in this movie. He’s a six foot two coolness hurricane and I want to be him. Okay, maybe not with all that much drinking and maybe not quite that many women but I’m just sayin’ that I get a little choked up knowing that I’ll never be Peter O’Toole in 1965. Michael James is a childish and sex obsessed alcoholic that is my hero, damn it. Then he goes and gets sweet. Seriously! His character has redeeming qualities that’ll melt your ice cold heart. He and Carol have a strange thing between them that defies logic and reason.
“YOUR FACE IS LIKE THE PALE AUTUMN MOON! ARE YOU DEAF?!?!”
This film has so many classic bits but my favorite ones are the group therapy sessions that devolve into games of indoor cricket and/or other madness. On one of Dr. Fassbender and Michael’s drunken escapades, the two go and try to woo a woman in Cyrano De Bergerac style and hilarity ensues. There is a Fellini dream sequence with O’Toole dressed up like Marcello Mastoianni cracking a whip which is cinema nerd great and Michael’s minimalist flashbacks to his younger self and his “problems” with women that are just awesome. However, once we get to Chateau Chantal, the movie kicks into high gear.
Everything has been leading up to this moment and the finale does not disappoint. The Benny Hill-esque chaos gets even more wacky when, instead of getting in their cars to avoid the police, the guests of Chateau Chantal head for the go-karts as their means of escape. But hold on, just before that, everyone runs out the front door of the hotel and there’s a wall of policemen waiting for them. In a desperate moment, everyone is terrified and frozen in place. Dr. Fassbender orders his wife (who is dressed like a valkyrie) to lead the charge against the cops. After she belts out an operatic screech, they charge and OH MY GOD, you need to see this movie!
I'm trying to track down a copy of Pussycat Pussycat, I Love You (since it isn't on VHS or DVD here in the States) so I'll have to continue this later. But let me just say that What's New Pussycat is a kinky but classy classic that is full of roguish and kooky surprises. It's very dated but the editing, the music, and the spectacle of the whole thing (especially Liz's striptease!) is just the kind of thing that make life worth living. Well, it is for me anyway. There has to be something to sandwich between all the beheadings and exsanguinations.
Wicked City
AKA Yiu Sau Dou Si
Directed by Tai Kit Mak
Released: 1992
Starring Jacky Cheung, Roy Cheung, Leon Lai, Carmen Lee, Tatsuya Nakadai, Michelle Reis
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Studio: Image Entertainment
One of my strangest movie theater experiences happened in the mid-90s when saw the animated film, Wicked City (directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri). It was at the old rundown theater somewhere in West Palm Beach where the Rocky Horror crowd would congregate. Wicked City is an action-packed, gory, and kinky anime with some hilarious dubbing. It was a packed house and a fairly lively crowd until a wee bit of tentacle rape happened. Then we all sat in stunned silence for the rest of the film. I don’t know how many anime fans were among the folks there that night but I’m going to go ahead and guess that most of the attendees had never seen anything like that before.
One night, a couple of years later, I was watching HBO, Showtime, or Cinemax (I don’t remember which) and they announced that they were going to play Wicked City. I decided to watch it again but opted to pass on recording it to VHS. I was pretty sure that one more viewing would probably be more than enough. When the film started, I got a little confused. It wasn’t animated! I had no idea there was a live action version of Wicked City. And it was from Hong fucking Kong! Other than kung-fu films, my only exposure to Hong Kong cinema was John Woo’s The Killer. I was in for another surprise and luckily, there was much less tentacle rape involved.
Tokyo has quite a crisis on its hands. There are monsters disguised as humans walking the streets and there’s an epidemic of people addicted to a drug called ‘Happiness’ which has some seriously bad side effects. Taki (played by Leon Lai) is a member of an elite anti-monster taskforce who has a lot of issues. His partner, Kai (Jacky Cheung), is a half-monster full of angst and his ex-girlfriend, Gaye (Michelle Reis), is a full-blooded monster who is also full of angst. Taki’s boss has put him in charge of capturing Daishu (Tatsuya Nakadai), a monster who he believes responsible for bringing the happiness drug into Tokyo (and who also happens to be Gaye’s lover). All hell breaks loose when Daishu is captured by the anti-monster squad and Daishu’s son Shudo (Roy Cheung) decides to destroy the city. Can Taki and Kai save the day or will the differences between monsters and humans be too much for them to handle?
That is approximately 33% of the plot of Wicked City (or as I like to call it: Wacky City). This movie has so much going on that it still baffles me after multiple viewings. Double crosses and triple crosses and a duder humping a living pinball machine, this one has it all. Director Tai Kit Mak brings us a visionary splatterfest in primary colors that can barely sit still long enough to tell the viewer what the hell is going on. But then again, it’s also childishly simple in terms of character motivations and it’s pretty obvious that the writers (one of which is director Tsui Hark) don’t give a double goddamn about wallowing in the cheese in order to get this wild ass story told.
Oh, this cast is awesome. Leon Lai is great as the conflicted hero and Roy Cheung of Fight Back to School is perfect as the creepy evildoer. Jacky Cheung of A Chinese Ghost Story III gets all mopey and emo (waaa, I’m half monster, waaa!) but rises to the status of hero when the going gets tough. Prolific Japanese actor, Tatsuya Nakadai (Illusion of Blood), tries to steal the movie as the wise and completely bad ass 150 year old monster, Daishu. (But what about those lovely ladies? First up is Michelle Reis (A Chinese Ghost Story II) who kicks 100 different varieties of ass. She makes me want to find my own Happiness-addicted monstrette to call my own. Carmen Lee of Forbidden City Cop squeezes into her tight white dress oh so nicely which is probably standard issue for female anti-monster squad agents.
If you can look past the convoluted plot, great magic that awaits you. The word ‘spectacle’ barely does Wicked City justice. I can pretty much guarantee you’ve never seen anything quite like this before. Wicked City is the bright green mango cherry Slurpee version of Blade Runner. When you need your fix of eye-popping gore sequences and hyperactive fight scenes, give this one a spin. Oh yeah, be sure to watch the dubbed version for even more insanity and I also suggest you watch Wicked City as a double feature with Johnnie To’s ridiculous epic The Heroic Trio.
