My Top 5 Favorite Non-Horror Movies

I feel like shit. So why not punish everyone? I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you guys. You're good people. You're just sitting there, lampin', and I'm being a hater. Hate the hater not the game, yo. I was just thinking about what I'd rather be doing than sitting here on an hour and a half of sleep and feeling my blueberry muffin churning around in my guts. Well, it's not boogie boarding! I would rather be watching movies. And for some reason, I want to talk about my current favorite non-horror flicks. Why? Because my wife LeEtta was talking her top 5 favorite films last night and I want to beat her to the punch. It's the blog form of spousal abuse. Actually we were watching the Rotten Tomatoes show and Alexis Bledel was talking about her favorite movies of all time and Forrest Gump was one of them. WTF?

If you had asked me 8 or 9 or 10 years ago what my favorite movies were, I would have said (without hesitation) Repo Man, Bottle Rocket, Buffalo '66, Rushmore and Last Tango in Paris. Ouch. Now Repo Man is still golden but I don't even own a copy of it right now. That tends to happen when you stop watching a movie you spent years of your life memorizing. I'll return to it someday. And I'll always have Last Tango in Paris. Pass the butter. Why I used to be so obsessed with Wes Anderson is a mystery to me. I think I mentioned my emo-ness in my last Wednesday Ramble. But yeah, I'm 33 and I'm a totally different person now. (Not really.) Most of this list is populated with things that my wife has introduced me to. Her influence is profound (as you'll soon see).

Hey, it's not Wednesday and I'm rambling anyway. Shit. I am insanely tired. So my current list of five favorite non-horror movies looks a lot like this.

5. Up in Arms (1944)

Up in Arms isn't the best Danny Kaye movie out there but it is pretty good. The biggest problem is that this one is a wartime comedy so there's a bunch of propaganda (tolerable (some actually played for laughs)) and an unfortunately racist portrayal of Japanese soldiers (not tolerable). Luckily, those things are brief and the rest of the movie is silly madness. This film is also one of Dinah Shore's few movie appearances and she is underwear-soilingly hot. Well, in a 1944 kind of a way, I guess.

Here's the dreamy musical number I want to live inside forever:



4. Bewitched (2005)

I passed on seeing Bewitched in theaters with my wife. Instead, I went and saw Land of the Dead. This was a good decision. But then we bought Bewitched and we've watched it over and over again since then. An oddly restrained Will Ferrell and a kooky Nicole Kidman in a box office flop about a TV studio that accidentally hires a real witch to play Samantha in a remake of "Bewitched". Huh? How does that work? How does that NOT work?!?!?! This movie is charming as hell. Gee, I'm as shocked as you are.

Did I say restrained? Never mind. Skip to 45 seconds...



3. The Music Man (1962)

Well, this is a surprise (maybe). Another musical? I avoided The Music Man for years because I assumed it was some shitty ass shit like South Pacific or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Wrong. This is a colorful, clever, over-the-top, wholesome (ugh) and pitch perfect (hey-o!) musical with a lotta heart. How many movies mentioned on this blog have 'a lotta heart'? The count is now up to one movie. We gave the version of The Music Man with Matthew Broderick a try but it was a sickly piglet compared to the original. Robert Preston rulez!

And THIS is one of the finest musical numbers of all time:



2. Get Over It (2001)

Searching for the perfect teen comedy? It's been found and it's called Get Over It. Yeah, I know. This list is taking you inside a part of my brain that I'd rather you didn't know existed. No turning back now, homey. LeEtta and I are crazy over Ben Foster and this film is why. He takes the lonely loser hero and propels it to a level of greatness. The film also has Martin Short as a drama teacher. Plus, Get Over It features Kirsten Dunst before she... Well... I guess Dunst is still Dunst. I'm so not complaining. Before I get too off track here, if you have a thing for silly teen flicks, Get Over It has some twisted and genuinely hilarious moments hidden in there. Watch repeatedly.

Here's the trailer (in FRENCH for some reason):



1. Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

And last but not least, Josie and the Pussycats! I hope you didn't think that Get Over It was going to be the only teen comedy on this short list. If you had told me back in 2001 that one day I would LOVE Josie and the Pussycats, I would have slapped your face off. But this film has a secret: it's funny as hell. It is much smarter than I thought it would be and it has hot chicks. I don't expect you non-believers out there to follow my lead on this one but it's true. When you run out to buy this on DVD (and I know you will), make sure you pick up the PG-13 version. There is a family friendly PG one out there that isn't that much different but come on, that's just dumb.

And the trailer (not too flattering):



The key factor in all of these (girlie) films is that they get better with repeat viewings. So if you cringe at the thought of sitting through Bewitched or Josie and the Pussycats, keep in mind that I'm watching them over and over and over again. It's a sickness but this is where I'm at. When it comes to non-horror, I go all the way. It could be worse, I could be watching The Godfather three times a day. Or Children of Men. Or Footloose. Ewwwww... I don't even want to go there. Have a super weekend, y'all.