Franco Friday #7: Nightmares Come at Night

Well, dear friends, it looks like this is the last of Franco's films. Yep, I can't believe I went through them all. It's been a wild ride, everybody! Thanks for hanging out with me but the guy only made so many films. Ahh yes that was very satisfying. Wait, what's that you say? Jess Franco made more than 7 films? I did not realize that. Okay, I guess I'll keep going.



Franco Friday #7

Nightmares Come at Night
AKA La Cauchemars Naissent la Nuit
Directed by Jess Franco
1970
Starring Diana Lorys, Soledad Miranda, Paul Muller, Jack Taylor, Collette Giacobine, Maria Rohm
83 minutes

Anna (played by Diana Lorys) is losing her mind. She is tormented by nightmares as well as her lover Cynthia (Collette Giacobine), a domineering and abusive beyatch. Cynthia calls in Dr. Paul Lucas (Paul Muller) to help Anna work her way through her problems. She resists at first but eventually Anna opens up to Dr. Paul and tells him of her nightmares, of her days as a strip tease artist, and how she suffers in her very not nice relationship with Cynthia. Meanwhile a young woman (Soledad Miranda) watches from a nearby house with her lover. She is waiting for something. Something is definitely going to happen. I hope.



I’m not going to lie to you, folks. I had a tough time getting through Nightmares Come at Night. The movie spends more time on the softcore bits and not nearly enough time on the nightmare bits. This was bound to happen. I hate to appear so prudish but after the initial “Oh awesome!” of a nude scene, I start looking at my watch pretty quickly. This film is definitely worth watching though even if you’re an un-perv like me. The score by Bruno Nicolai is superb and the cinematography by frequent Franco collaborators Manuel Merino and Jose Climent makes even the most mundane moments of this film look gorgeous.



Diana Lorys, who was so awesome in Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll, is very good here (not to mention her voluptuous body is just mindboggling). It is easy to care about her character Anna and you really want to her just snap and take an axe to that Cynthia chick (she doesn’t). Jack Taylor of Night of the Sorcerers and The Vampire’s Night Orgy is in this one as some kind of a sex guru and is also the subject of Anna’s nightmares. If Paul Muller looks familiar it’s because he’s been in every dang movie ever. I know him best from Lady Frankenstein. IMDB lists Howard Vernon as being in this film but I can’t remember him at all.

The only thing about this movie that really irks me is the freakin’ DVD from Shriek Show. The cover art features Soledad Miranda as though she were the star of this flick. That just ain’t the case here. Miranda’s character is totally useless and we only see her a couple of times in the movie. Her best moment happens when she is sitting on a mattress, guzzling a bottle of wine, and wearing nothing but thigh high leather boots and a shawl. Scrawled in red paint on the wall behind her are the words “Life is all SHIT”. That’s pretty impressive for sure but Diana Lorys should have been on the cover, damn it. She’s the star of this freak fest.



Nightmares Come at Night really outdoes itself with the Euro-sleaze factor. This film is practically a comedic parody of every trashy arthouse piece of Euro-quackery from the seedy 70s. It’s artsy, it’s pretentious, it’s got extended lovemaking scenes that drag on for what seem like forever, and yet, it’s also kind of great. This haunting flick definitely stays with you long after it’s over. Hell, it’s even got a little bit of a giallo feel to it and you know I dig that. Leave it to Franco to take a whole bunch of nothing and make it a soft focus daydream (not as nightmarish as the title would suggest) with moments of unbearable tension and brooding sexiness.



“To escape a dream… Go through the long corridor to the past. And death… And pleasure… Begging me to join in. It attracts me irresistibly.”

Some awesome bad ass cool person posted samples from Nicolai's score:

Do You Guys Have This Problem?

No, it doesn't burn when I eat peas. I hate peas.

At what point in movie-collecting do you stop? Between the DVDs I’ve bought, movies I’ve recorded off of cable, movies people have given me, and movies I’ve downloaded (all unavailable through any other means, of course), I have more films than I will be able to watch in a lifetime. And then there’s all the films available for streaming. And all the movies I’ve never heard of or have yet to come out. I have broken all these titles down into these categories: the movies I can’t wait to watch, the movies I am too excited about to watch*, the movies that I dread watching, and the movies that I know I’m never going to watch. So if I quit my job or get laid off (and never work again), I might have time to at least get through the first two categories. I may have to consult with my wife about those options.

Obviously, I am a compulsive collector when it comes to films. Instead of buying myself horror figurines, posters, or other memorabilia, I put it all towards getting more titles. Hmm, I guess I buy a lot of books about horror movies but that’s just another way to find out about more titles. Oh shit, I just remembered. There are all those TV shows I own and all those Anime series. Man, I hope I live for 200 years.

*Do any of you have this problem? I get a movie in the mail and my feelings of excitement and anticipation are almost unbearable. And yet, I put the movie in its new home on my shelf and watch something else.

An Oh Shit! Moment

This is the "Oh shit! The creepy guy I was following just pwned me in the hallway!" Moment. This Oh Shit! Moment is brought to you by Spanish Horror Diapers.

Naschy Cake!

My good friend and Doomed Moviethon Junior Assistant Staff Writer, Brad Hogue, sent me a photo of his birthday cake. That's right, his wife Elizabeth surprised him with this magnificent cake when he came home from work the other night. Happy birthday, Brad, you magnificent bastard. I hope you bit the throat right out of that bad ass cake!


Brad and Elizabeth (a match made in Hades!)

New Items At The Store

You know what, it's Monday. Worse than that? It feels like Monday. You should do some shopping! I'm still parting with my VHS collection 5 items per week but I am going to diversify a little bit. I found some cool stuff that I totally forgot about. Keep checking on the store. As for all the tapes, I test them myself. If you have any questions about items or whatever. Or if you want me to shut the hell up and stop trying to sell you stuff, just let me know. Later!

Franco Friday #6: Kiss Me Monster

Franco Friday #6

Hot damn, duders. It is already the sixth Franco Friday and I am beginning to feel that my brain is bigger and my libido is um… bigger? Anyway, this week I tackle a film so bizarre that George C. Scott, Vanessa Redgrave, and Henry Fonda all refused to be in it. Don’t look that up. Just sit back and enjoy the show. No wait, there is no show. Sorry, you have to read this. You don’t have to but I mean, come on, it’s here, just read the damn thing. Take care, you Franco-heads!



Kiss Me Monster
Directed by Jess Franco
1969
75 minutes
Starring Janine Reynaud, Rosanna Yanni, Chris Howland, Michel Lemoine, Manuel Velasco

The Red Lips detective agency consists of Diana (played by Janine Reynaud) and Regina (Rosanna Yanni). These two wild ladies have taken on some pretty tough cases before but this one, oh boy, it’s a real humdinger. This new case falls into their laps when a musician brings them a piece of music (“The Abilene Anthem”) containing clues to a strange mystery. He is immediately knifed in the back. In fact, everyone that Diana and Regina try to get clues from die from a knife sticking out of their back. It turns out that an evil scientist is trying to create a race of supermen to take over the world. Diana and Regina track the scientist to his lair on a Caribbean Island. They steal the secret formula, Interpol gets involved, and- If I try to tell you any more about the plot of this movie, my head will explode.

Am I being punked?

After 20 minutes of Kiss Me Monster, I turned it off and begged my wife and mother-in-law to watch it with me just so I wouldn’t have to watch it alone. Oh, it’s not scary or anything, it’s just that this film is so impossibly crunked up that I had to watch it with someone so that I could make sure that I wasn’t going insane. I mean it. Don’t watch this movie alone. If you do, Ashton Kutcher shows up and beats you to death with a Nikon. Kiss Me Monster is the weirdest thing I’ve seen from Jess Franco (so far) but it’s also a new favorite. The film is totally outlandish and obsessively obtuse while somehow managing to remain entertaining and hilarious.

Janine Reynaud (Franco’s Succubus) and Rosanna Yanni (Count Dracula’s Great Love) sure seem to be having a great time making this film. They never appear out of place playing dueling saxophones or stealing a “nutrition solution” from a wacky and (presumably) gay scientist. I like to pretend that this film is a documentary and that they just forced Miss Reynaud and Miss Yanni to change their names to Diana and Regina so that all the secrets of the secret society of men in black hoods would stay secret!

What you need to know is that Kiss Me Monster is a comedy but for us viewers of Euro-trash, the joke will likely fly over our heads at first. The dubbing for this film is so bad and so strange that I immediately over-thought what I was watching. I concentrated so hard on the story and the dialog to try and figure out what the intent was that I completely forgot that Franco might just be fucking with me. It honestly feels like the voice actors improvised the dialog. Yeah, it's like that, dawg.

The story feels like it was written by a 5 year old. It is so convoluted and disastrously simple that it’s oddly brilliant. Any gap is filled with pseudoscience or skipped over with coincidence. But it’s all gobbledygook. Don’t waste another precious second of your life, my dear friends, check out Kiss Me Monster. It’s pretty fabulous and just about the nicest slap you can have right in the movie-face.


Un...


Fucking...


Be...


Leave...


Ahhhhh...


Bull!

Doomed Moviethon Turns 6 Today

Six years ago today, I launched the missile that is Doomed Moviethon at the world. Before I started this thing, I was obsessively reading sites like Horrordvds.com and Monstersatplay.com. I would get angry when I would run out of reviews to read on these sites. The next bit of inspiration came from other sites who seemed to hate horror movies. Every review was just so friggin' negative that I started to wonder why these people had ever bothered building sites in the first place. I said to myself, "That's it! Time to start my own horror movie review site and I'm gonna call it Vomit Puke Ass Movie Reviews of Ass."

Luckily, I changed it to Doomed Moviethon (with Cinema Somnambulist a close second) and the rest is history (I guess). Thanks to all of you for reading the site over the years or just finding out about it; and to all of you who have been following Cinema Somnambulist, the unnatural extension of DM. I hope you like bloggists! I also want to thank my friends and contributors: my wife LeEtta, Nafa, Brad, Eric, and Shelly. You guys friggin' rule.

Hey Zach, play me out!

The Store is Open

Hello! Well, I finally decided to start selling stuff on eBay again. I realized that I needed to do two things: 1) I need to make space in my domicile and 2) I want to raise money for a little horror movie I want to shoot in November. So HERE IT IS, my little store. If any of you buy anything from now until November, I'll put your name in the credits of my horror movie (which I'll be telling you crazy kids about later) as "Less Than Executive Producers". Most of the stuff in the store will be VHS cult and horror flicks but there might be some DVDs and movie magazines and stuff later. Not sure about all that I'm willing to part with. Stay tuned for updates and stuff.

Franco Friday #5: The Awful Dr. Orlof

Franco Friday #5

Hello, sweet peeps. I turn back the clock to check out a film that I've been avoiding for a long time. For some dumb, stupid, and stupid reason, I was avoiding The Awful Dr. Orlof. Maybe it's because I'm awful. Maybe it's because all the mirrors in my house are covered because my stepdad Ed kidnaps women so that he can use their succulent face-flesh to restore my beauty. There's at least a dozen million reasons but they were all bad. Word.



The Awful Dr. Orlof
AKA Gritos en la Noche
Directed by Jess Franco
1962
90 minutes
Starring Howard Vernon, Conrado San Martin, Diana Lorys, Perla Cristal, Maria Silva, Ricardo Valle

The police are baffled as beautiful young women keep disappearing throughout the city. Witnesses claim to have seen a man with freaky eyes carrying a body through the streets while others claim a well-dressed man is wooing these young ladies away into the night. Both of these scenarios are correct! Dr. Orlof (played by Howard Vernon) and his blind assistant Morpho (Ricardo Valle) are capturing their gorgeous victims so that the doctor can restore his daughter’s crunked up face with his experimental skin transplant techniques. Despite a lack of solid leads, Inspector Tanner (Conrado San Martin) refuses to give up.



The inspector’s fiancé, Wanda (played by Diana Lorys), is doing better at cracking the case than he is and of course, no one believes her. Unfortunately, Wanda bears a striking resemblance to Dr. Orlof’s daughter so he puts her at the top of list of victims for his experiments. When she goes undercover as a woman of loose morals, Wanda gets kidnapped by Dr. Orlof. Will her dumbass fiancé- I mean, the great Inspector Tanner- find her before it is too late?



The Awful Dr. Orlof is a fun slice of gothic horror that, despite its status as a Spanish version of Eyes Without a Face, is way ahead of its time. Director Franco shows his skills here by making a film that is beautiful and easy to sit back and just enjoy. There is lots of dark humor and a couple of silly cliffhanger moments that will instantly win over any fan of classic horror. And, because this is Franco, there are even a few surprisingly bold sexy moments that are rather jarring to behold in black and white. The cinematography is stunning and the English dub is a dang riot.



This is where the whole Orlof cycle began, my friends. Franco would return to these characters time and time again throughout his career making several different versions of (and quasi-sequels to) this flick. And it's easy to see why. I'm sure anyone involved in this project would look back with fondness on this landmark in Spanish horror. I won't say The Awful Dr. Orloff is a good starting point for future Francophiles but you could definitely do worse.

Franco Friday #4: Rites of Frankenstein

Franco Friday #4

Rarely have I been this stupefied, this discombobulated, this gobsmacked, or this totally friggin' destroyed by a movie. I almost just want to post some screenshots and let you decide for yourselves what I just watched is all about. But I figure that since I'm the bloggist around here, I better give this one a shot. Make no mistakes my friends, this may be the weirdest film you will ever see.



The Rites of Frankenstein
AKA The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein, La Maldicion de Frankenstein
Directed by Jess Franco
1972
85 minutes
Starring Alberto Dalbes, Dennis Price, Howard Vernon, Beatriz Savon, Anne Libert, Fernando Bilbao, Britt Nichols



Shortly after he completes his monster, Dr. Frankenstein (played by Dennis Price) is murdered by Melisa (Anne Libert), a blind bird woman with a taste for human blood. The doctor’s daughter Vera (Beatriz Savon) shows up, takes her father’s body from the tomb, and revives his corpse long enough so she can find out who is behind this crime. The Frankenstein monster tries to kidnap a woman for his new master but Vera convinces him to take her instead.



It turns out that the evil magician, Cagliostro (played by Howard Vernon), wants to create a super being by mating the Frankenstein monster with his female counterpart, which he orders Vera to complete. After he hypnotizes and whips the heck out of her, she immediately goes to work on the she-monster. Meanwhile, Doctor Seward (Alberto Dalbes), a former colleague of Dr. Frankenstein, steps in to rescue Vera and stop all this madness.



Holy shit, Rites of Frankenstein is even more insane that I thought it would be. Hell, it’s even better than I thought would be too. So if you like pseudoscience, sacrifices, psychic powers, reanimated dead people, whippings, and other ghoulish delights, you need to see this film, duders. Jess Franco is firing on all cylinders with one crazy scene after another. And by all cylinders, I mean one cylinder is firing furiously and the rest are melting. This thing could explode at any second but the movie is only 85 minutes so disaster is averted. The soundtrack has got it all with everything from fuzzed out synthesizers to free jazz to stuffy library music.



The elephant in the room of course is that this is the clothed version. That’s right folks, this is supposed to be The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein but since I’m not all about the pron, I couldn’t care less. Oddly enough, I think Lina Romay (who plays a character so slight, so poorly realized that you could categorize her role as a cameo (but that might be too generous)) is hotter with clothes on. There was definitely a moment for a prolonged masturbation scene and it jumps to her readjusting her wardrobe. Did I feel cheated? Hell no, I didn’t. I was relieved. Sorry you dang perverts, but I’m just here for the horror and the weirdness.



I love Rites of Frankenstein and you should love it too. This movie needs love. It’s a hilariously childish and morbid horror fantasy with its head screwed on backwards and sideways. Seriously though, how the fuck can a film have striking cinematography and yet be slightly out of focus for nearly all of its running time? There’s even a machine that looks an awful lot like an air conditioner that reanimates the dead and some acid that instantly melts a human head thrown in with all this tomfoolery. Damn it, you need to see this. Did I even mention the silver Frankenstein monster?

Tomie: Unlimited

Hmm... The new Tomie (Miu Nakamura) is kind of hot.

Don't Look in the Attic

Don't Look in the Attic
AKA La Villa delle Anime Maledette
Directed by Carlo Ausino
1982
Starring Beba Loncar, Jean-Pierre Aumont, Annarita Grapputo, George Ardisson
80 minutes

Once upon a time, there was an accursed house where the people living there killed each other. Many years later, the descendants of these ugly motherfuckers are called together by a lawyer to go over their inheritance of the estate. Elisa (played by Annarita Grapputo) and her cousins, Douche and Doucher, have never met before but they must share the responsibilities of restoring the family house or else they lose the money that comes with it. There's a creepy groundskeeper and of course, the stupid curse on the place. Almost immediately, strange things begin happening at the accursed house and the events of the past start to like totally happen again. It is all very ironic and stuff.

When you scrape the bottom of the Italian horror barrel, you're going to get two things: shitty movies and splinters. Please, dear reader, let me save you the trouble: I strongly recommend you don't watch Don't Look in the Attic. It starts out somewhat interesting and then it takes a shit-dive into Poop Town, population: the viewer. All I can say positively about this film is that it isn't the worst Italian horror film I've seen. There are very brief glimpses of talent in here: a few decent shots, pretty scenery, a mediocre seance scene, a little nudity, and decent lighting (when the scenes aren't so dark you have to guess what the hell is going on). But for every split second of accidental talent onscreen, there are 15 minutes of ugly and bland banalities to compensate.

All of the actors are too ugly to look at (I'm joking) and the characters they portray are so fucking boring you'll die when you watch them (I'm not joking). The score for Don't Look in the Attic is listed as being the responsibility of Stelvio Cipriani. I want to believe this. First of all, most of this tacky score sounds like it was lifted from a cannibal movie. And I swear that during one of the scare sequences, the music is stolen right Fabio Frizzi's score for City of the Living Dead. Soundtrack = fail. Speaking of soundtracks, Don't Look in the Attic has the added bonus of jungle sound effects when people are walking around the grounds of the accursed house. How many howler monkeys are in Turin, Italy? Probably a lot.


Go ahead, poke your eyes out. You'll thank me later.


Warts!


What's it like being a poor man's Tisa Farrow? Ask this dumbass.


The best shot in the movie. No seriously.


Don't mock me, you fucking turd-face.

Franco Friday #3: Venus in Furs

Franco Friday #3

Welcome to the third Friday of- VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'- Whoa! What was that? Anyway, welcome to- VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'- Damn it all, what the shit- VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'- Okay, I get it, jeez! Are you done yet? VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN! Look people, it's the third Friday in the Franco Friday series and I'm here to examine a little film by our man Franco. It's a biography about trumpet maker Maxwell Venus who developed the silicone spit valve and- VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN'- That's it, I'm outta here. Laters.



Venus in Furs
Directed by Jess Franco
1969
86 minutes
Starring James Darren, Barbara McNair, Maria Rohm, Klaus Kinski, Dennis Price

A man named Jimmy (played by James Darren) rushes out to the beach and digs up his trumpet. No really, that’s how the movies starts. Moments later, the body of a dead woman washes up on the beach. Jimmy knows her but he can’t quite remember how or from where. It all starts to come back to him. Her name was Wanda (Maria Rohm) and we see that she was this happening chick who was killed (maybe accidentally) by a gang of rich sexual deviants (played by Klaus Kinski, Dennis Price, and others) for their pleasure. Before you can say “Hey, nice wig!”, Wanda is back from the grave and is making Jimmy crazy. Jimmy’s girlfriend Rita (Barbara McNair), a nightclub singer, is not too pleased about all this but she’s pretty understanding. Wanda starts hunting down the jerks who brought about her demise and is killing them with her obtuse yet sexy methods.



The moment it begins, you know that Venus in Furs is going to be a lush and sensual feast for the senses. There is something so magical about this film. Its slow motion, dreamy, sexy, and hallucinatory vibe is instantly hypnotic. This film will not let you go until it is done with you. Even the soundtrack is magic. There are several jazz numbers, brassy lounge pieces, and even some slinky freakouts stashed all over the film.



Everyone in this movie is perfect in their role. I really like James Darren in this movie. He plays this totally hopeless schmuck who can’t catch a break. His character is just someone for Wanda to leech off of and yet he’s totally awesome. And speaking of Wanda, Maria Rohm (of The Bloody Judge) is simply amazing as the revenge-seeking undead sexy lady. Let’s not forget good old Klaus Kinski playing a sheik of some sort, what more could you really ever want from a film? From life?



Also on hand to really class things up is Barbara McNair as Rita, a nightclub singer so popular that she can just lie on the floor and sing. No seriously, Rita, you’re too good to stand. Did I say “class things up”? I did and of course, I was talking about veteran actor Dennis Price. His character’s name is Percival Kapp. So awesome. I really appreciated the presence of Adolfo Lastretti from Umberto Lenzi’s Spasmo as the detective hot on Wanda’s cold heels.



Movies as sexy and as fun as Venus in Furs should be illegal but since they’re not (well, they’re not in the good ole US of A anyway), you gotta check this out. It’s got some whipping, some sex, some stock footage, some none too subtle necrophilia, a cheesy theme song (VENUS IN FURS WILL BE SMILIN’), an untrustworthy narrator, and even a car chase. This is how I stopped worrying and learned to love the Franco. Hmm, that was pretty lame, wasn’t it? This film has nothing to with Dr. Strangelove. Why would I even go there? Damn it, I am such a goof. Just watch this frickin’ movie.



Quotes

“We escaped from the real world into a dream world that I never wanted to end.”

Franco Friday #2: The Bloody Judge

They said it couldn't happen twice. They said that I'm a loser and a wimp. They said I couldn't possibly watch more than one Jess Franco movie without going insanium in the cranium. Who are "they" exactly and why are "they" so opinionated? Yo dawgs, "they" were completely not right. Welcome to the second "Franco Friday" (copyright pending). I hope you guys like torture!



The Bloody Judge
AKA Night of the Blood Monster
1970
103 minutes
Starring Christopher Lee, Maria Schell, Milo Quesada, Hans Hass Jr., Howard Vernon, Pietro Martellanza

Yikes, this plot is pretty complicated. Bear with me, folks.

Some happy go lucky pagans are hassled by the cops and Alicia Gray (played by Margaret Lee) is arrested for consorting (read as “getting it on”) with a man accused of witchcraft. Judge Jeffreys (Christopher Lee) asks for the executioner (Howard Vernon) to test her with some horrible tortures to see if she is a witch herself. Alicia’s sister Mary comes to Judge Jeffreys to beg for his mercy. Since Mary is totally hot, Judge Jeffreys asks for her to give herself to him in order to spare Alicia. She refuses and Alicia is put to death. A blind witch named Mother Rosa (Maria Schell) prophesizes that Mary has some bad shit is coming her way.



Of course, Judge Jeffreys is paranoid, corrupt, and is using his power to stamp out enemies of the king. His spies report that a man named Barnaby (played by Pietro Martellanza) is behind a conspiracy against the king. The Judge finds out that Harry (Hans Hass Jr.), the son of his associate Lord Wessex, is friends with Barnaby and that he has taken up with Mary, the object of his desire. The judge takes Mary away to hide her from Harry. When Lord Wessex’s lackey Satchel (Milo Quesada) tries to rape Mary, she shoves his face into a fireplace. Luckily, Harry shows up and takes her away.



While a bunch of armies are fighting over England, Barnaby is injured and Harry takes him to a hideout. Satchel, who is now deformed and working for Judge Jeffreys, discovers this and has all the rebel women rounded up to be tried and executed. Harry and Mary are arrested and put on trial. Harry is spared thanks to his father’s connections but Mary gets into even more trouble when she tries to murder the judge. What will become of her and will someone finally hold the judge accountable for his actions?



I am astonished by how lavish this production is and I still can’t believe Franco made this. Now I’m not saying that the guy was a bad filmmaker but I definitely didn’t see this one coming. The Bloody Judge is more than capably directed and has excellent sets and scenery. The superb music score comes from the amazing Bruno Nicholai. There is also a thick layer of sleaze that doesn’t surprise me one bit. There’s a particularly pointless scene where Mary is forced to pleasure one of her fellow female tortured souls for the amusement of the guards. Funny, I haven’t seen any men being tortured yet. Why? Because men aren't as sexy as women when they're being tortured. Duh.



This is why British people aren’t allowed to have laws or government anymore. They always abuse their power. That’s why no Americans live in England anymore. Back in the 1850s or whatever, we were all like “no demonic possession without representation”. I find it very inspiring that Jess Franco wasn’t afraid to tell this story of how Judge Jeffreys became the first King of the United States of America. If it wasn’t for all the royalty and stuff, where would we be today?



Okay, enough gibberish. While I wouldn’t call it a favorite or especially life changing, I really enjoyed The Bloody Judge. The film is well written, well acted (Christopher Lee is frickin’ awesome, as usual), and is certainly a well made. It’s fascinating to see just how large of a production that Jess Franco could handle. The torture scenes are painful to behold and are mostly gratuitous. You know when the dubbing of the film suddenly switches to German, you’re gonna see some twisted stuff. Oh yeah.

Edit:

Here's a phrase I forgot to use in this review: "religious hypocrisy". You like that?