The INV4SIAN: Review Roundup

Well, happy Halloween everybody! This post will conclude an entire month of Asian cinema reviews here at the Cinema Somnambulist blog palace. I hope you all have been enjoying this cavalcade of goodness (and only occasional not-so-greatness). As usual, I have watched way more films than I can hope to write full reviews of within any kind of a thing called "time". So, here's a list of 13 more films that I watched in order to celebrate Asian cinema. Check it out:

Skin Striperess (1992)

Skin Stripperess is the trashy tale of a shady dude pimping out his girlfriend to secure investors for a beachfront development project. When she dies in a freak electrical accident, her spirit returns and funks his ship up. A monk (Ching-Ying Lam) is called in to exorcise her spirt. It doesn’t go very well. I enjoy this film’s gore (especially that skin stripping), colorful lighting, and liberal use of fog machines. Unfortunately, there’s animal violence with frogs and snakes getting murdered onscreen. Dig the music lifted from Lucio Fulci’s City of the Living Dead (1980) on this film’s score. I kind of liked this one, but would never sit through it again.

A Monstrous Corpse (1981)

This Korean remake of Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) is somewhat disjointed and flat, but has enough cool moments to warrant a viewing for fans of Jorge Grau's masterpiece. The story (that follows the original's very closely with only slight variations) is about an experimental radio transmitter that awakens the dead. The version I'm reviewing is either censored or was very tame from the get go, but that's okay since the countryside setting is beautiful and the music features some neato synthesizer work. Not too shabby, but not essential viewing.

Mail (2004)

Mail is a collection of stories featuring a detective who specializes in sending ghosts to the afterlife. After being very impressed by the manga by Housui Yamazaki, I have to admit I was a little let down by this shot on video (and probably made for TV) adaptation. Part of the problem is that it's so cheap looking, but also I wasn't expecting an episodic collection of stories crammed into a feature length movie. Stylistically, this movie can be summed up in the main character's ridiculous looking baggy leather pants. You're better off reading the manga, though Chiaki Kuriyama (of Battle Royale (2000) fame) is in this and she makes everything better (sometimes).

Witch from Nepal (1986)

Before you even ask, it's not pronounced "weyatch frown nipple". Chow Yun-Fat plays Joe, just your average Jim, who ends up getting himself involved in a supernatural battle against the forces of evil. He also strikes up a romance with magical Sheila (Emily Chu), much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Ida. Witch from Nepal is pretty awesome with its magical fun, dreamlike qualities, emphasis on spectacle, corny love story, and genuine weirdness. Low key but also kind of essential if you're a fan of Hong Kong madness. At the time of this review, Witch from Nepal is on Tubi. Go for it!

Kakashi AKA Scarecrow (2001)

A remote village is getting ready for their Wicker Man-like festival by putting up nightmarish scarecrows all over the damn place. Kaoru (Maho Nonami) has shown up in the middle of tthis wacko fest to find her missing brother. She should have not done that. This quiet and eerie little movie was a nice creepy surprise. Any time I can find a Japanese horror film from the late 1990s/early 2000s heyday that is unseen by me, I'm gonna jump on it. Kakashi is tinged with a melancholic vibe and is graced with beautiful cinematography and cool sound design. Director Norio Tsuruta has made quite a few horror films in their career including Ring 0: Birthday (2000). I wish Kakashi was more talked about. I mean more than me right now. Highly recommended. 

Ghost Eyes (1974)

Pao-ling (played by Szu-Chia Chen) is a manicurist that meets a mysterious optometrist who seems to have some strange power over her. Could he be a vampire? This is a solid horror film from the director of COrpse Mania (1981). It has some scary moments, is super melodramatic, but also brings the silliness at times. I ended up rooting for the heroine. I really wanted her to be okay. The music and the cinematography give this one some occasional giallo feels which I always appreciate. 

Look Out, Officer! (1990)

Seasoned police detective Piao (Bill Tung) is killed by a smelly drug kingpin and returns from the afterlife as a ghost. He teams up with police cadet Hsing (Stephen Chow) and his former partner (Stanley Sui-Fan Fung) to set things right. This one is pretty bad (those fart and pee jokes), but enjoyable enough for Stephen Chow fans. A cat poops on an altar... twice. There are some clever gags and I got a kick out of the hokey music stingers on the soundtrack. There's plenty of ghostly malfeasance and even some sorcery in the plot. There are some jokes at the expense of Vietnamese immigrants. Boo. No one asked for that.

Exte: Hair Extensions (2007)

A body is discovered in a crate of human hair. Thanks to a shady security guard/hair fetishist at the morgue, the hair ends up getting sent to a hairdresser and used as extensions. But it's cursed hair, y'all! So yes, this is truly one of the strangest films I've ever seen, which is hardly surprising since it comes from writer/director Sion Sono. Chiaki Kuriyama stars in this one and well, you know, she rocks. This isn't all just freaky and hilarious weirdness. Exte is also emotionally brutal and can get pretty disturbing. If I reveal too much, it would be a disservice since you need to see this one for yourself.

Howling Village (2019)

A lady goes searching for her brother who disappeared at the legendary “Howling Village”. I freakin’ love how prolific Takashi Shimizu is. The guy has directed over 25 horror movies and TV shows at the time of this writing. Howling Village is a very pretty and gloomily atmospheric film with some overly melodramatic moments near the finale, but overall, it’s a solid effort. Keep an eye out for Renji Ishibashi, one of my favorite character actors whose credits have already pushed past the 400 mark. The worst thing I can say about this film is that it felt about 5 minutes too long for me. I suspect that if you’re vibing with it, you won’t mind at all.

Forbidden Siren (2006)

Oh no! Not another cursed village movie! Why does this keep crappening to me?! In 1976, a terrible disaster struck a small island village leaving only one survivor. A writer moves there with his two kids and is warned by the locals not to go out at night when the island's siren goes off. His daughter (Yui Ichikawa) almost immediately discovers that shit just ain't right in this spooky place. This one really surprised me. It has a really cool, unique vibe to it. I dig the Lovecraftian vibes and the claustrophobic nature of the island setting. Now I want to play the video game it's based on.

Heartbeat 100 (1987)

Trying to remember the plot of this movie is almost impossible thanks to my gibberish notes. BUT... I will try. Murderous thieves hiding out in a small village terrorize some tourists, including a writer (Maggie Cheung), who's just looking for a relaxing working vacation. That should do it. Anyway, Heartbeat 100 won me over with its uncomplicated plot, spooky moments, garish lighting, surprising gore, corny comedic situations, and a killer ceiling fan. It's basic as hell but entertaining. Not a strong recommend, but if you're in the mood for some Hong Kong trash, give it a whirl. One of the characters is named Weeny Eyes and also there's a poodle named Chu-Chu.

Vampire Hunters (2003)

Four vampire fighting monks battle the forces of evil to save the life of a beautiful girl. That is the VERY SHORT version because, this is way too complicated to get into here. I kept seeing this one for rent at Hollywood Video, but never took a chance on it. I'm really glad that I finally did because it's a winner! Co-produced and written by Tsui Hark and directed by actor-turned-director Wellson Chin, Vampire Hunters is very imaginative with some inventive gore and cool vampires. This came out right before dodgy CGI took over, but there's a few cruddy digital touches here and there. A lot of the film takes place on sound stages with practical effects aplenty. There's also just the right amount of humor mixed in to keep things from ever getting too serious. 

Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue (1992)

Thanks to his dad's experimentation, college athlete Shin becomes Kamen Rider, a half-man, half-grasshopper superhero. It's up to him to battle an evil syndicate called "The Syndicate", who plan on using his dad's work to take over the world. Where has this movie been all my life? The creature effects are as cool as they are slimy. With its schlocky melodrama and heightened over acting from the cast, this one just hits all the right beats for me. It plays like a kids movie, but there's nudity (laughable swimming pool sex scene) and tons of violence (arterial spray!). The jammin' synthesizer score alone should make this essential viewing for 1980s creature feature enthusiasts. Based on the hit TV series that has spawned many, many iterations, I heartily recommend this and its very fun sequel from the following year called Kamen Rider ZO (1993).

The Invasian 3: Review Roundup

I’m sure a lot of you out there are feeling like the spring and summer of 2020 have been going supernaturally slow. And then all of a sudden, it’s the end of September! I am relieved that October is just around the corner but I’m also very irritated with myself for not having planned this Asian horror month better. I watched a huge number of movies but didn’t give myself enough time to write the damn reviews! Bad blogger! I let other projects get in the way all summer and then as soon as September hit, my wife and I started bingeing Halloween specials. I swear, you’d think that blogging was a dying medium.

So instead of being smart, I’m sitting here tonight blasting through quick reviews like an idiot. The most encouraging part of The Invasian series so far is that there is always another month’s worth of movies I could’ve watched and written about. And then another month and another, etc. So, I hope it goes without saying that I will return to this subject again, my friends. I’m like the moth in this song. Just like that. Thanks for hanging out with me and I hope to see you around these parts again soon. 

The Drifting Classroom (1987)

Directed by Nobuhiko Ôbayashi

Country of Origin: Japan

On a seemingly normal school day, disaster strikes when a school building disappears. The students and teachers inside are transported to another place and time, perhaps even another dimension. This is easily one of the most outrageous films I’ve ever seen. Horror fans will know director Ôbayashi for his cult favorite Hausu (1977) and this film does not disappoint in the utter weirdness department. Based on the manga by Kazuo Umezu, Ôbayashi revels in the outlandish plot of the source material. Adding to the chaos is that much of the cast is made up of non-professional (or just plain awful) American actors and the Japanese cast primarily speaks English. The Drifting Classroom feels like if Wes Anderson was kidnapped as a young man in the 1980s, force fed hallucinogenic drugs, and then directed a film at gunpoint without being allowed to see the script. It’s loud, it’s outrageous, and it’s several varieties of wacko. I’ve truly never seen anything like The Drifting Classroom.

Nightmare Detective (2006)

Directed by Shin'ya Tsukamoto

Country of Origin: Japan

A series of unsolvable murders inspires a desperate detective (Hitomi) to call in a man known as Kyoichi Kagenuma (Ryûhei Matsuda), the nightmare detective. His ability to tap into other people’s nightmares will come in handy on the case but I don’t dare say anything more because I don’t want to spoil it for you. This hyper-bizarre abstract horror film from Tsukamoto, one of the strangest directors to come out of Japan, takes a great premise and delivers it completely sideways. You like your existential dread injected with a very unusual sense of humor? Then this is a film for you. My only gripe about Nightmare Detective is that its madcap energy flags near the end but its worth hanging with it to the end. Tsukamoto followed up this with a sequel in 2008 which, if I recall correctly, is equally weird to the original.

Noroi: The Curse (2005)

Directed by Kôji Shiraishi

Country of Origin: Japan

Masafumi Kobayashi (Jin Muraki) is a documentary filmmaker obsessed with capturing proof of the supernatural on camera. He gets more than he bargained for when one of the urban legends he set out to capture turns out to be very real and very deadly. Over the years, I’ve grown extremely weary of found footage films and a big part of why I avoided Noroi for so long was its nearly two-hour running time. But this epic found footage film is something of a masterpiece. It’s creepy from damn near the very beginning and is never boring. Highly recommended. While not nearly as frightening as this, check out director Shiraishi’s 2007 horror film, Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman.

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

Directed by Shin'ichirô Ueda

Country of Origin: Japan

A film crew making a zombie film runs into some problems. Yep, that’s all you should know about this film before going into it. Just be patient with it, my friends. After being buried under 3 or 4 tons of hype for this film, I finally sat down and watched One Cut of the Dead. I have to say, it exceeded and defied my expectations. I'm sure that tons of folks who are way better writers than me will have a lot to say about this film. I'll just say this, when all was said and done, I had tears in my eyes. If you still haven't seen this, do it. Don't look into the details and/or try to forget what you've already heard when you give it a go. This one really is that good.

Phone (2002)

Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn

Country of Origin: South Korea

After exposing a child prostitution scandal, a reporter (Ji-Won Ha) begins to receive creepy and threatening phone calls on her cell phone. She tries fleeing the city to stay at her friend’s house, but the spooky incidents follow her. Phone takes a generic ghost plot, a hilariously overwrought thriller story, random Christmas sequences, “Moonlight Sonata”, and one of the creepiest little kids ever, and squishes them into a huge hit for director Ahn. I like Phone but it doesn’t hold a candle to Takashi Miike’s One Missed Call (released the following year), which is impossible not to think about when you’re watching this movie. I like Phone well enough but it’s unfortunately a bit disposable. I remember enjoying this director follow-up ghost movie Ouija Board AKA Witch Board (2004) much more.

Premonition (2004)

Directed by Norio Tsuruta

Country of Origin: Japan

Just seconds before a road accident claims the life of his child, Hideki (Hiroshi Mikami) finds a newspaper clipping predicting the incident. Afterwards, he and his wife Ayaka (Noriko Sakai) become obsessed with tragedies where witnesses reported seeing a mysterious newspaper that foretold the calamities before they occurred. I remembered this film being just okay but revisiting it really made me appreciate it so much more. It has truly great performances from Mikami and Sakai, plus it gets really creepy (and depressing).  A big part of Premonition’s success comes from its composer, the venerable Kenji Kawai of Ringu (1998) and so many other amazing scores. 

Satan's Slave (1982)

Directed by Sisworo Gautama Putra

Country of Origin: Indonesia

After their mother dies, a family must cope with their grief and simultaneously fight off a bevy of ghosts and zombies. When you’re looking for something truly different for your western eyes, give the horror films of Indonesia a look. The influence of American films is strong with Satan’s Slave. The son character is just a wee bit inspired by Mike of Phantasm (1979), but this goes on some wild tangents that feel wholly original. The film runs a little long at 96 minutes, but I can let that slide, especially if it might means cutting that sweet outdoor discotheque sequence. I’ve heard good things about the 2017 remake of Satan’s Slave, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

The Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Witch (1968)

Directed by Noriaki Yuasa

Country of Origin: Japan

An orphan named Sayuri Nanjo gets adopted by a family with a dark secret, or two. The selfless and kind Sayuri just can’t seem to make her new sister Tamami happy no matter what she does. It doesn’t help that Tamami is insane (among other things). As if that wasn’t bad enough, at night, Sayuri is constantly threatened by a freaky witch with long fangs! Released the same year as The Living Skeleton (one of my all-time favorite Japanese horror movies), this black and white kids’ horror movie confection is the biggest surprise I had while watching Asian horror this month. Every bit of this film plays out like a creaky old horror manga by someone like Kazuo Umezu. Oh, this was based on one of his stories? Color me not surprised at all! 

The Visitor in the Eye (1977)

Directed by Nobuhiko Ôbayashi

Country of Origin: Japan

After a tennis accident, Chiaki (Nagisa Katahira), a student at an all girl’s school, needs a cornea transplant, but due to the risky nature of the surgery, no doctor will take her case. Enter renegade surgeon Black Jack (Jô Shishido)! He agrees to perform the surgery but through an unfortunate mix-up, Chiaki begins to see the ghostly figure of a debonair man beckoning to her. How in the actual frick did Nobuhiko Ôbayashi direct this film AND Hausu in the same year?! I literally can’t process it. Now don’t get me wrong, this adaptation of Osamu Tezuka’s hit manga Black Jack doesn’t have the power to resonate with me like Hausu does. But The Visitor in the Eye is such an achingly beautiful film that it’s difficult for me not to be smitten with it, at least visually. From the disco fresh tangents of the soundtrack to the bittersweet melodrama to the painterly cinematography, this is a prime slice of Ôbayashi.

Warning: Do Not Play AKA Amjeon (2019)

Directed by Kim Jin-won

Country of Origin: South Korea

A filmmaker named Mi-Jung (Ye-ji Seo) has a serious case of writer’s block. She wants to make a horror film and is trying to desperately to find something that both inspires and scares her. Mi-Jung thinks she’s found the perfect subject: a student film that is supposedly so terrifying that it can kill you. But once she finds out that the hype is real, it’s already too late for her. I was really surprised by Warning: Do Not Play. On the outset, it doesn’t seem like much, but it explores some deep territory like dealing with depression, the healing power of horror movies, and exorcising trauma through the creative process. It also has an excellent movie within a movie within a movie crisscrossing storyline going for it as the walls of what’s real and what’s imaginary collapse in on themselves.

100 Monsters AKA Yôkai hyaku monogatari (1968)

Directed by Kimiyoshi Yasuda

Country of Origin: Japan

When an evil landowner uses his influence to throw out the poor inhabitants of a small village, a rather large group of helpful monsters invade to scare off the baddies. 100 Monsters is colorful and just a delight to behold. There’s a lot of time spent with the human characters but fear not, the yokai goodness is just around the corner. Director Yasuda made over fifty films in his lifetime and a few of his horror films are real gems. Daimajin (1966), his contribution to the kaiju genre, is fantastic and inspired two sequels the same year of its release. He also made two of the three Yokai films released between 1968 and 1969. If you like monsters, and I’m willing to be that you do, then seek out this fantastic -and quite insane- period piece.

Quick Review: Arang (2006)

Directed by Sang-hoon Ahn

Country of Origin: South Korea

Several douchebag bros have died in gruesome, inexplicable ways and the cops are completely baffled. Their only lead is a mysterious website that shows up on their computers showing a rundown salt house while playing a creepy melody. Detective So-Young (Yun-ah Song) discovers that the site is referring to a village where all these idiots used to hang out. As soon as she gets there, So-Young and her rookie partner (Dong-Wook Lee) discovers that the villagers have been afraid to go near the salt house because it’s friggin’ haunted.  

I wasn’t in a big hurry to revisit Arang but boy, I’m glad that I did! It blends the (totally not overdone at all) ghost girl subgenre with a police procedural very well and the characters, especially So-Young, are really interesting. Yun-ah Song is so damn good in this movie. Her character is tough and cocky but just under the surface, she’s in great pain from a past trauma. What a performance! While the ghost elements are well done, they owe a lot to the Ringu films and a whole mess of other Asian horror flicks. But just like the folklore that it’s based on, the story of Arang is tinged with sadness. This movie, especially if you can find it cheap, is well worth your time.

Quick Review: Spider Forest (2004)

Directed by Il-gon Song

Country of Origin: South Korea

After being brutally attacked in the Spider Forest (every town has one), Kang Min (Woo-seong Kam), an editor at a TV station, wanders into the road and is struck by a car. While recovering in the hospital, he finds himself the chief suspect in the murder investigation of two of his coworkers. Kang must return to Spider Forest to find out the truth even if it kills him. Maybe it’s that pesky head injury or maybe Kang was just a little crazy to begin with, but he’s having trouble distinguishing between reality and delusion. This is gonna be fun! (Not really.)

One thing that really surprised me about Spider Forest is the music score. At first, it had some annoying stingers and I was like “Oh boy, here we go.” And then the music takes a giallo-style turn with some harpsichord and I was back on board. With a bit of a David Lynch influence (apple-chomping sex fiend!) and a labyrinthine plot with the past and present overlapping one another, there’s a lot to unpack in this film. While it has horror elements such as an unreasonable number of spiders crawling on corpses, this is a very bleak but engaging thriller through and through. Recommended!