THE INVASIAN: House of Terrors (1965)

 

Yoshie (Yûko Kusunoki) receives news that her husband has died under mysterious circumstances. Then she finds out that he had a mistress AND even had a creepy old villa out in the middle of nowhere that she’s inherited. You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and then you have… the [Japanese] facts of life. A major selling point of this real estate Yoshie has been death-gifted is that it comes with a hunchbacked servant (Akira Nishimura), whose name may or may not be Igor. She’s in her new/old creepy ass domicile for about 5 minutes before the spooky sounds and weird visions and unexplained deaths begin.

Much like another black and white Japanese horror film I absolutely love called The Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Witch (1968), House of Terrors (1965) reminds of reading horror manga from the likes of Kazuo Umezu. Director Hajime Satô would go on to direct another bizarre horror masterpiece called Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell (1968). But with this film, he’s firing on all cylinders bringing the eerie and naughty screenplay by Hajime Takaiwa to life. Takaiwa was a very prolific screenwriter that wrote in pretty much every genre you can think of. Based on this little gem, I wish he’d done more horror!

There’s not enough Japanese horror on disc and we need to cherish every one one of these classics as they come out. House of Terrors is an essential work of Japanese horror cinema with its joyously convoluted plot, over-the-top madness (and horniness) of the characters, and deliciously filmed gothic setpieces. There’s almost as many cobwebs as there are constant screams from the characters! I bet you all of my wealth that House of Terrors pairs beautifully with Hiroki Matsuno’s The Living Skeleton (1968). Do you dare to find out for yourself? Are you prone to the heebie jeebies? Don’t you want a chance to win my fortune (which is actually just a creepy old house and an Igor)? Some restrictions apply.

THE INVASIAN: A Haunted Turkish Bathhouse (1975)

Yukino (Naomi Tani) is stuck working in a bathhouse (AKA brothel) because of her utterly worthless and downright evil husband Toriyama (Kôji Fujiyama). Things only get worse when her younger sister Mayumi (Misa Ohara) shows up to live with the couple and even worser than that, Yukino reveals to her dirtbag hubbie that she is pregnant. Toriyama decides that it’s easier to just kill his wife and wall her up in the cellar than it is to not be a garbage person. Now that he’s free to run the bathhouse, he thinks he’s got it made. Luckily, Yukino’s ghost comes back and wrecks shit.

Leave it to Toei Company to make a film that is as fun to watch as it is miserable to sit through. Their knack at combining a hyper-stylized feast for the eyes with depressing subject matter into the same film is actually pretty amazing. The eye-popping supernatural (and very bloody) shenanigans and bawdy comedy are welcome breaks from the rape and torture Yukino and Mayumi go through. They dare to dream beyond a life of sex work and the shitty male-dominated society they find themselves in bends over backwards to keep them in their place. Ugh, I need a drink.

While he’s normally credited as a producer, Hiroshi Babauchi composed some wild music for this film with some crazy synthesizer freakouts paired with jazzy drums. So yeah, my eyes and ears are happy, but my mind is not. A Haunted Turkish Bathhouse (1975) is a rough beauty. Sort of, kind of recommended, I guess. While the fiery finale of this film gave me some Suspiria (1977) vibes, I still prefer director Kazuhiko Yamaguchi’s less rapey trash classic Wolf Guy, released the same year.

The INVASIAN: The Gambling Ghost (1991)

Down on his luck gambling addict, Fatty (Sammo Kam-Bo Hung), gets entangled in a dangerous web of gangsters and thieves when the ghost of his grandfather asks him to get revenge against the descendant of his murderer. The Gambling Ghost has lots of laughs and plenty of action. My favorite scene is when Fatty pretends to be a ghost to skip out of paying cab fare. Hoi Mang of Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983) is excellent as Fatty's sidekick.

Sadly, everything falls apart for me during one of the big climactic fight scenes when a megaton racist bomb goes off. While fighting Robert Samuels, Sammo Hung's character makes some hideous comment about his hair and his skin, and it really made my heart sink. It's a shame too because this movie is a lot of fun, but I just feel bad for Samuels who put up with it and I'm ashamed at the filmmakers who thought it was a good idea. So yeah, fuck this movie.

THE INVASIAN: Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007)

 

The urban legend of a murderous ghost woman with a huge, horrible slash across her mouth and who wields a comedically large pair of scissors turns out to be true! This terrifying monster has been kidnapping children, but what is her motivation? If I’m going to be a villain in a horror movie, then I want a freakin’ earthquake to announce my presence to my victims like this lady. And that face! Who doesn’t love that face that gets burned into your mind when they finally show it?

Director and Jack-of-all-trades Kôji Shiraishi has been consistently churning out horror movies for years with Noroi: The Curse (2005) being his best work that I’ve seen. I love how he and screenwriter Naoyuki Yokota added depth to an already frightening, but one note urban legend. Even if the film’s plot elements of child abuse and child endangerment are difficult pills (or pairs of scissors) to swallow, they feel like they’re coming from a real place. While The Slit-Mouthed Woman is very unsettling, it’s more grim and depressing than scary. It’s definitely worth a watch, but be prepared to be bummed out afterwards.

Just A Look: The Visitor in the Eye (1977)

 

Quick Review: Arang (2006)

Directed by Sang-hoon Ahn

Country of Origin: South Korea

Several douchebag bros have died in gruesome, inexplicable ways and the cops are completely baffled. Their only lead is a mysterious website that shows up on their computers showing a rundown salt house while playing a creepy melody. Detective So-Young (Yun-ah Song) discovers that the site is referring to a village where all these idiots used to hang out. As soon as she gets there, So-Young and her rookie partner (Dong-Wook Lee) discovers that the villagers have been afraid to go near the salt house because it’s friggin’ haunted.  

I wasn’t in a big hurry to revisit Arang but boy, I’m glad that I did! It blends the (totally not overdone at all) ghost girl subgenre with a police procedural very well and the characters, especially So-Young, are really interesting. Yun-ah Song is so damn good in this movie. Her character is tough and cocky but just under the surface, she’s in great pain from a past trauma. What a performance! While the ghost elements are well done, they owe a lot to the Ringu films and a whole mess of other Asian horror flicks. But just like the folklore that it’s based on, the story of Arang is tinged with sadness. This movie, especially if you can find it cheap, is well worth your time.

Quick Review: The Ghost AKA Ryeong (2004)

Directed by Tae-kyeong Kim

Country of Origin: South Korea

A ghost that can spontaneously drown its victims, even when there are no canals or estuaries nearby, has been taking out a clique of snooty girls. Amnesiac Ji-won (Ha-neul Kim) is in grave danger of being the next victim if she isn’t able to access her lost memories. This is one of the films that I just had to revisit for this blog-a-thon because damn it, I know I’ve seen it before, but it had flown out of my brain immediately after watching it. And sure enough, as I’m writing this review, I’m struggling to remember it again.

What you’re getting here is a very generic ghost story with some fun twists to throw you off the trail. I like the performances from the cast and the atmosphere ain’t half bad. The Ghost is not a bad movie at all but it’s as forgettable as you’d expect a movie titled The Ghost to be. I like the alternate title Dead Friend much better. This is kind of worth seeking out but just like Ji-won, you’ll have to keep watching it every few years (or weeks) to friggin’ remember it. Director Tae-kyeong Kim is also responsible for another film called Muoi: The Legend of a Portrait (2007). I can remember that one!