My Horror Shelfie 36 - From Lady Terminator to Let Sleeping Corpses Lie

Happy Birthday, Doomed Moviethon!

Doomed Moviethon is now 10 years old. Let's party!

Three new reviews!

House of Voices

Tell Me Something

Rojo Sangre

And one new article!

You Got Rodanned!

Hello! This is the Doomed Show #20 Baby Blood with Death Rattle Aaron

Since Brad and I have schedules like dueling dragons, I invited a special awesome guest co-host, Aaron from The Death Rattle, to do the show with me. Check out the episode here yo. And, as always, you can download the old episodes over at our archives right here.

Baby Blood

Somehow, my review of the gore-tastic Baby Blood slipped through the cracks and was sitting all alone in a folder somewhere. The date on the file says August of 2006 and honestly, I only vaguely remember writing this one. It was definitely done before I was aware of the French Invasion (High Tension, Frontiers, Inside, etc.) But Baby Blood is still one of my favorites. It is equal parts shocking and hilarious. My friend Tim and I rented this one titled then as The Evil Within back in the 90s and it blew our friggin' minds. So anyway folks, here is one from the Doomed Moviethon vaults.



Here's a clip:



And apparently, they made a freakin' sequel (slightly NSFW trailer):

Devil's Kiss

My hopes for Devil's Kiss were abysmally low so it is hardly surprising that it turned out to be totally perfect. Well, almost. This Spanish/French co-disaster is a slow and awful film but its saving graces are the wretched English dubbing and the sweet junky soundtrack. The dialogue has more pseudoscience and Satanic mumbo jumbo than the human body can digest plus there is pointless nudity and one (only one?) softcore sex scene that I didn't want to see. Okay, I've said too much already. Here are the highlights:


I was told to get my groove on.


I am Claire. Do not call me by that other name anymore.


Oh sweet leatherman, take me to a magical island.


The fashion world just threw up.


Why yes, I do have a weak ass bitch slap.


It's a living.


If I can tame this horse, I can tame you.


I'm a pretty tall dwarf, can I get a chair?


Why yes, I was in Umberto Lenzi's Eyeball. What about it?


Paul Naschy's agent said he didn't need this gig. But I do.


The fashion world just threw up. Again.


Hi, I'm Richard and I'm the hero of this motion picture.


Yeah well, we've all had this dream, haven't we?


Loretta pwned!


I seriously spend 80% of my screen time doing this.


Loretta 2.0: I will dis you and dismiss you.


We are probably analyzing her stupid dead brain or some shit like that.


I'm Susan! Remember? You're supposed to care if I live or die.


We'll get there when we get there.


What used to have two thumbs and is now a pile of offal? This guy.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls

Someone is trying to blackmail an industrialist by poisoning milk with radioactive materials. Three young women die from drinking the milk. This would probably be the end of the story except these women just happen to be buried at the same cemetery that the aforementioned industrialist orders one of his men to dump toxic waste into. The three girls return from the dead each night to exact their undead revenge on the people responsible for their untimely demises (and whoever else happens to get in their way). And what is a "Cambodian wheelbarrow" supposed to be exactly?

What the hell did I just watch? Revenge of the Living Dead Girls is a damn good time if you're looking for pieces of shit to ridicule. The dubbing is glorious and the soundtrack is a quirky and magically lame synth-affair. Acting is abysmal all around but you won't care with all the forgettable characters being thrown at the screen. Good luck remembering anybody's name. Gore isn't too bad with a couple of standout sequences but the stiff and rubbery zombie makeup sucks.

The three undead ladies are very active despite their condition and can be seen driving a car, playing a church organ and yes, swimming in a freakin' swimming pool. They also manage to rise from the grave each night AND close their tombs behind them each night which I think is pretty ridiculous. That's just what I think. The zombies girls also turn out to be bisexual and quite horny, managing to pass on an undead-STD to a guy who didn't realize he was sexing a zombie. I don't blame him though, the editing was so bad, I wasn't sure what had happened either. He passes this little unwanted surprise onto his pregnant wife with hilariously vomitous results.

This is all fun and games until one of the two genital mutilation sequences (yes, there are two) goes a little too far. When something genuinely shocking happens in a movie that is comically bad like this one is, it kind of ruins everything. File this scene under the "oops, swords don't go up there" category. This film is a thinly-connected sequel (lawsuit pending) to Jean Rollin's The Living Dead Girl but don't tell anyone I said that, okay? Revenge of the Living Dead Girls has some potential for a fun time with friends and alcohol just make sure you don't invite any feminists or pregnant women or French people. I guarantee they will be offended.


I'll get the skimmer.
The trailer is right here.